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Internet Searchs on BPD and Why you need WHINE
I have been looking over the keywords that found my blog in the past few days and have noticed that I’m getting more traffic from people seeking information, self-help, advice and assistance with their borderline personality disordered partner. Here is a (small) sample of of these search terms: helping someone with bpd bpd crazymaking levels of validation “self-destructive behavior” friend how to get bpd to go to psychiatrist bpd communication bpd and lying high-functioning borderline borderline how to convince ex i have changed are emotions painful for bpd invalidating environment, boundaries advice for dealing with someone with a bpd bpd dealing with love borderline girlfriend when she clearly has a…
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The validating statement revealed
This is an excerpt from pages 103-104 from my book When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. This excerpt comes from my (long) discussion of validation and how and why to do it. In the book, I outline a six step process to validation. This is a part of “Step 3: Making a Validating Statement”: Examples of validating statements: – That must have made you feel really angry. – What a frustrating situation to be in! – It must make you feel angry to have someone do that. – That’s so difficult for you. – Wow, how hard that…
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Discount price for my book
Apparently, Amazon is offering my book at a discount. Right now, you can get When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder for $17.96 versus $19.95. Don’t know why they’re doing it. Another quick review from my group… Disclaimer: I just downloaded WHINE. I have not read the entire book. However, the section on validation is excellent, excellent, excellent! For some reason, I’m always deeply impressed when someone actually understands this concept. Not only is validation explained in a complete way but sample conversations are also given with suggested validating language. This section alone needs to be required reading for…
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Book Review of WHINE from “Tides of Crazy Love”
The author of this book, Bon Dobbs, is the founding leader of my online google support group – ATSPGroup. His wife has been diagnosed with BPD and his daughter struggles with emotional dysregulation similar to that of BPD. When I found this group, I had just come away from the Welcome To Oz group known as WTO-Staying. I was tremendously discouraged (support-wise), because the folks there just didn’t seem to “get” this disorder… from my perspective as a suffer and as a non to my BPDH. There were a few informed folks who were seriously trying to explain the underlying fears and irrational thoughts behind BPD, but most of the…
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Boundaries and their effective use
Well, well, well… I don’t know why but apparently I continue to be a subject at WTO. Weird. I posted about this a few days ago. I’ve been out of touch with the blog for a few days, while I do family stuff and take care of my email list. I really admire the people on my list; they do a great job of being both honest and validating with one another – while at the same time providing constructive advice to one another. Boundaries… I’ve posted about boundaries many times before. I think boundaries are one of the most misunderstood concepts in the non-BP/BP relationship. While it is difficult…
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Biology, Blame, Borderline Personality Disorder, Emotions, Odds and Ends, Resources, Stats, Validation
Follow the Yellow Click Road
Apparently, someone over at Welcome to Oz (WTO) Internet list posted a message asking about me and what I am all about concerning BPD and Non-BPs. This lead to a huge spike in traffic with my average number of accesses basically doubling over the weekend. I’m still a member of WTO, so I decided to login and take a look at what people are saying about me over there. I haven’t posted in years and haven’t logged in in months. Obviously, there are many, many new people who have no idea who I am or what I’m about. There are a few members still hanging around who do remember me.…