Anything to Stop the Pain - BPD and Non-BPs

I have to say I got a huge laugh out of this. A member of my list nominated me for president…. ok, not really, but check the video. They do an amazing job here. I think I’ll have to download it and put it on YouTube….

http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=28YtV161o2mpa64Wts86

I gotta figure out how to embed that video. Please watch via the link. Very funny.

Bon Dobbs :: Jul.15.2008 :: Odds and Ends, Video :: No Comments »

I’ve posted a poll on my blog (on the left sidebar) about Rh- blood. I have found that many of my list member’s BP loved ones have Rh- blood. Does your BP have a Rh- blood type? Obviously, it’s not scientific, but I’d like to know.

Bon Dobbs :: Jul.03.2008 :: Odds and Ends :: 3 Comments »

Ignored Psych patient dies in NY hospital….

Ignored Psych Patient Dies on Hospital Floor

Video Shows Death in NYC Hospital Already Faces a Lawsuit for ‘Squalid’ Psych Care

By DAVID SCHOETZ

July 1, 2008—

Even pared down to a few minutes, the hour-long surveillance video is disturbing.

At 5:32 a.m. June 19, a woman in a hospital gown in the waiting area of the psychiatric emergency room of a New York City hospital topples first to her knees before collapsing on her face.

A full hour passes. Other people stream in and out of the waiting room, including hospital security guards. The woman writes something on the ground before going completely still. Finally, someone takes notice and alerts the staff. But by then, at 6:36 a.m., the woman is already dead.

The woman, 49-year-old Esmin Green, died on the floor of the waiting room at the Kings County Hospital Center Psychiatric Emergency Department. Her exact cause of death has not been released.

The native of Jamaica, who had been waiting for a bed when she collapsed, had been involuntarily admitted the previous day for “agitation and psychosis,” according to the City Health and Hospital Corp., which acknowledged June 20 that Green had been left unattended on the ground for an hour.

Alan Aviles, the president of the Health and Hospital Corp., had already announced that six hospital employees, including staff members who oversee patient care and security, face disciplinary action for their lack of response. Two of the employees were fired, while four unionized staff members must go through termination proceedings.

The hospital, in the Brooklyn borough of New York City, may have a much bigger problem on its hands. In May, Kings County Hospital was targeted in a federal lawsuit by three organizations that described hospital conditions as “inhumane.” Attorneys for the plaintiff released the footage of Green’s death Monday night to illustrate in brutal detail some of the allegations made in the suit.

The Mental Hygiene Legal Service, New York Civil Liberties Union and Kirland & Ellis LLP filed the lawsuit after an investigation at the hospital “showed that Kings County psychiatric facilities are overcrowded and often dangerously unsanitary and that patients — including children and the physically disabled — are routinely ignored and abused,” according to the groups’ May 3 release announcing the suit.

The groups claim that alleged mistreatment of patients at the hospital is a violation of the federal Americans With Disabilities Act as well as several New York State provisions that guarantee the delivery of mental health services in a safe and sanitary manner.

Aviles is named as one of the lead defendants in the 36-page suit, which specifically cites five patients, all with some type of disability, who allege “abusive and neglectful” treatment at Kings County.

One patient, L.D., claimed that she was laughed at when she asked to call her family and was placed in a bed with soiled sheets. Another patient, identified as J.P., said that she had to sleep sitting up in a wheelchair after she got up in the night to use the bathroom and returned to find another patient in her bed.

The New York Daily News reported that in addition to the neglect in Green’s case, staff members entered false information into her medical chart during the hour in which she lay on the ground to cover up the lack of treatment.

At 6 a.m. on the morning of her death, according to the Daily News, Green’s medical chart reportedly listed the patient as “awake, up and about, went to the bathroom.” Green had been in the same spot on the ground for more than a half-hour. At 6:08 a.m., she stopped moving, according to the footage. But her chart described her at 6:20 a.m. as “sitting quietly in the waiting room.” In reality, she may have already been dead.

Ana Marengo, a spokeswoman for the Health and Hospital Corp., would not address the exact entries in Green’s medical chart, but did say, “There appears to be some discrepancies” that have been forwarded, along with the entire case, to various New York City investigative departments.

“It is clear that some of our employees failed to act based on our compassionate standards of care,” administrators wrote in a statement last night that followed the video’s release.

Hospital administrators outlined a series of improvements already made to the Kings County psychiatric program, including the addition of staff and expanding space to cope with overcrowding. They pledged a series of improvements, including the appointment of an “interim administrator” who will report directly to Aviles, and a guarantee that patients in the psychiatric emergency unit will be checked on every 15 minutes.

In June, USA Today reported that nearly 80 percent of hospitals said that mentally ill patients sometimes wait up to four hours or more for emergency care, citing a study by the American College of Emergency Physicians that surveyed 328 emergency medical directors.

Physicians blamed the delayed care on shrinking budgets that have prompted many hospitals to either consolidate mental health services or shut them down completely. Since 2000, the number of psychiatric beds has dropped 12 percent, according to the medical organization’s statistics.

Copyright © 2008 ABC News Internet Ventures

Bon Dobbs :: Jul.01.2008 :: Odds and Ends, Treatment :: 1 Comment »

Well, I’ve looked over recent keywords that find my blog and found these to be interesting (with my comment in parenthesis):

• borderline tough love (it doesn’t work see this post)
• bpd not wrong (I wonder a BP saying they’re not wrong or a non-bp complaining about it?)
• bpd impacts on loved ones (big ones! That’s the whole point of the site huh?)
• how to stop ruminating (It isn’t easy. Mindfulness helps.)
• dumped out of the blue bpd (yeah, it happens)
• how to stop a demonic possession (I’m amazed at the number of demonic possession believers out there)
• here is the last two digits of my social (ok, where is the rest? - haha)
• bpd inability to love (sad…)
• bpd look of hate evil (I’ve seen it.)
• outlandish lies (poor guy/gal)
• best site anythingtostopthepain (my favorite of the group)
• cocaine and bpd (not a good combo)
• bpd wife bitch (bitter much?)
• shall i contact my ex who has bpd (not if you don’t have to)
• how do i validate my borderline daughter (nice… I’m glad you’re trying!)
• “borderline personality” evil (evil again)
• drunk housewives (is this someone looking for porn? or support? Maybe a new ABC show?)
• bpd are evil (evil again!)
• how do you stop a demonic possession (you can’t - it doesn’t exist. I guess you can stop believing in it.)

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.16.2008 :: Stats, Odds and Ends, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 3 Comments »

Apparently, someone over at Welcome to Oz (WTO) Internet list posted a message asking about me and what I am all about concerning BPD and Non-BPs. This lead to a huge spike in traffic with my average number of accesses basically doubling over the weekend. I’m still a member of WTO, so I decided to login and take a look at what people are saying about me over there. I haven’t posted in years and haven’t logged in in months.

Obviously, there are many, many new people who have no idea who I am or what I’m about. There are a few members still hanging around who do remember me. There are a couple of people who seem to have a pretty dim view of what I have to offer - although I think that those people don’t know me very well and have interacted with me only cursorily. First, today, I’d like to outline my philosophy about BPD and Non-BPs to clear up some of the mis-statements and mis-perceptions.

• I do believe that BPD is a serious mental illness and not a case of a “behavioral disorder.” In other words, BPD is not merely a case of someone just behaving badly. I further believe that much of the core issue with someone with BPD is emotional and based on poor emotional regulation skills. The reaction to strong negative emotions (and other factors, like  shame and impulsiveness) cause the “poor behavior.” I put that in quotes because the behavior has a function and the function IMO is to make the BP feel better. A person (whether they have BP or not) CAN learn to behave differently in the face of strong negative emotions. It takes practice and requires the acquisition of emotional skills. However, I also believe that the emotional under-pinnings are not going to disappear, just because the person with BPD learns to behave more effectively. Emotionally, they are just more sensitive than other people - that is the way they are. In other words, I don’t believe that I have a “cure” for BPD, which was bandied about at WTO.
• I also believe that the only person that you can change in a relationship is yourself. It is my opinion that once you change your own approach to emotional situations, the person with whom you are having the relationship will react to the change in various ways. Sometimes they will have a fit. Sometimes they will appreciate the “new you.” And sometimes a complex combination of emotions will arise. My “methods” are a combination of emotional understanding (of your own emotions and of theirs), emotional validation (which is complex in itself), positive reinforcement and “inserting your (the Non’s) feelings” into the conversation. There are some other skills and sub-skills, but that’s a quick synopsis. IMO this complex combination of skills (which also require practice) will improve the relationship and make sure that you don’t “walk on eggshells” around the other person. Boundaries can help - however, boundaries are a subject unto themselves, and I find that most people don’t know what boundaries are and how to apply them properly.
• There was some argument at WTO that my motives were suspect, because I am trying to make some money on what I have learned and practiced thus far. I think the operative word here is trying, because I don’t really make enough money to even operate this website at a break-even level. No, I’ve not made much money at all as a “professional Non-BP” (if that’s what I am). What I have been able to do is have an impact on the lives of many people. That is pretty satisfying in itself, and I will not pretend that I wouldn’t like to do it full-time. I certainly enjoy interacting with others in my situation and exchanging advice, strategies, knowledge, etc. more than my “day-job.” But it will be a long time (and probably never) before I will be able to do that. Besides, most of my support activity and knowledge-sharing I do for free - either here on in my Google Group. There’s no charge for participating in that group or to read these posts. At this point, any money I do make just contributes to the cost of operating this website.
• I don’t think that BPs have to be “let off the hook” and that they have no responsibility when it comes to a relationship. I also don’t think that you, as a Non-BP, have to forgo your feelings to live alongside a person with BPD. Both of those ideas were suggested at WTO. Neither is true. I think everyone in a relationship will have emotions, reactions, expectations, etc. Everyone is allowed to have each of these. Everyone has certain responsibilities in a relationship as well. What I DO advocate is looking at the function behind behavior and understanding the dynamic that exists. Many times I’ve seen people suggest that my methods give the BP “undo advantage” in a relationship. Huh? I thought this was a “loved one?” I don’t think that “love is a battlefield.” It’s not us-agains- them. That is just more black-and-white thinking on the part of the Non. If you’re going through a bloody divorce with someone with BPD, I can certainly understand where this might come into play, but, as I have said, my methods are about “living with and loving” someone with BPD. There is responsibility on both sides of the fence. It takes a certain environment IMO to make sure that responsibility is acknowledged - and that environment has to be one that is validating, otherwise you’re going to be caught in a shame hurricane. Nothing will get accomplished.
• Finally, I believe that effective emotional skills are helpful for anyone in any relationship. Anger, sadness, spite, resentment, blame, etc., etc. lead to a corrosive environment within any relationship. My “methods” attempt to reverse some of the corrosiveness and build stronger, healthier emotional relationships. You may not agree with my methods, which is fine. Personally, I’ve had to try everything to find anything that worked.

I guess it’s better to be talked about a little, whether it is positive or negative, than to be ignored. Thanks to a group member of mine who notified me of the discussion and who defended me (you know who you are).

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.16.2008 :: Resources, Odds and Ends, Stats, Blame, Biology, Validation, Emotions, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 1 Comment »

My technorati authority took a huge hit this week when 20 bloggers passed the 6 month link limit. I had a bunch of bloggers on live journal link to my article on BPD and Lying. I’ve written several more posts on lying - it seems to be a pretty hot topic with BPD.

But 6 months has past and BOOM! The authority went from 29 to 9. Ouch…. oh, well. More good content to come - so maybe it’ll go back up!

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.14.2008 :: Stats, Odds and Ends, Lying, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 1 Comment »

This morning when I came to check my blog, I found that the Technorati widget I put on my sidebar - the one that shows tags and my blog authority - was showing what I can only describe as SPAM. Now the Technorati website is broken. I will have to remove the widget until it clears up. Did Technorati get hacked?

Bon Dobbs :: May.29.2008 :: Odds and Ends :: No Comments »

I find it discouraging that I get comment SPAM (literally almost 1000 SPAM comments) about several main things - prescription meds (which I rail against consistently), sexy pictures (which I don’t condone) and gambling sites (which many BPs might find interesting, but not my BP). I find it frustrating that I get SPAM about the very things I am trying to protect against. I mean WTF? I have received 7 times the SPAM comment-wise as the real thing. What a mess.

Bon Dobbs :: May.28.2008 :: Stats, Odds and Ends :: No Comments »

I’ll be writing again soon. I have about 10 new ideas for posts. What I wanted to respond to tonight is: What is the deal with my comment SPAM? I rail against Xanax for BPs and then I get 50 SPAM comments about buying Xanax without a prescription. WTF? I hate SPAMers - as I know all of you do too.

Bon Dobbs :: May.25.2008 :: Stats, Odds and Ends, Substance Abuse :: 1 Comment »

I read today that Heather Mills (on my standby list of celebs with possible BPD) is writing a “book” called “Get Healthy with Heather.” I really felt I had to put “book” in quotes because it’s only 64 pages - more of a booklet IMO. Personally, I think it should be called “Get Wealthy with Heather,” considering her $40 Million dollar settlement from Paul McCartney. Here is a gem of healthy wisdom from Heather:

Last November, she launched a campaign with vegetarian group Viva - which is also involved with her new book - encouraging people to drink rats’ and dogs’ milk to help save the planet.

Arguing that livestock creates more carbon emissions than transport, Heather suggested drinking the different milk could help cut global warming.

She said: “There are many other kinds of milk available. Why don’t we try drinking rats’ milk and dogs’ milk?”

Rats’ milk? Maybe she can show us how it’s done and drink it directly from the momma rat.

I wonder if her next book will be “Mental Health with Heather”? She needs some serious treatement for whatever condition she has. I find it sad that she is such a publicity hound. I guess her goody-goody reputation was impugned with all that nastiness with Paul. Maybe I need to do a long analysis of news stories to see where she lands on the celeb BPD-o-meter (hey, come to think of it, the celeb BPD-o-meter ain’t such a bad idea, hmmm…..). I know, I know, I’m pandering to the “celebrities with borderline personality disorder” crowd out there, but when 60% of my searches are about that subject, I guess I gotta feed the audience what they want (unless it’s rats’ milk - yuck!) - at least some of the time.

I do wish that some celeb would come out and be the face of BPD, maybe Sean Young? Her career needs a boost and some attention right now. And given that May IS BPD Awareness month, this would be a perfect opportunity for her (’course I don’t KNOW she has BPD, but her behavior begs the question).

Bon Dobbs :: May.21.2008 :: Celebrities, Odds and Ends, Substance Abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 2 Comments »