While not BPD-related, this is a story that was posted by a member of the ATSTP Group to let us remember our priorities. Neither the poster or I know the origin of this story:
TWO GLASSES OF WINE…
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle……when 24 hours in
a day are not enough….. remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of
wine…
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty
Mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between
the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They
agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand. The students laughed.
‘Now’, said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to
recognise that this jar represents your life….. The golf balls are the
important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends,
and your favourite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only
they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
and your car.
The sand is everything else: the small stuff.
If you put the sand into the jar first, he continued, there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life: If you spend all your time and energy on the
small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with
your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out to
dinner. Play another 18. Do one more run down the ski slope. There will
always be time to clean the house and fix the shelves.
Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set
your priorities.
The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine
represented.
The professor smiled. ‘I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that
no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of
glasses of wine with a friend.’
One in five U.S. adults takes medication for a mental disorder
By Shari Roan, Los Angeles Times / For the Booster Shots blog
9:53 AM PST, November 16, 2011
Medications to treat mental health disorders is soaring among U.S. adults, according to data released Wednesday by Medco Health Solutions, a pharmacy benefit manager.
Twenty percent of all adults said they took at least one medication to treat a mental disorder. Among women, 25% said they took such medication and 20% said they were using an antidepressant.
The survey analyzed prescription drug trends among 2.5 million insured Americans from 2001 to 2010.
Medco researchers also found that adults ages 20 to 44 had the greatest uptick in use of anti-anxiety medications, atypical antipsychotics and drugs to treat ADHD. The number of women on ADHD medications was 2.5 times higher in 2010 than in 2001.
The number of children under 10 taking antipsychotic medication, which is reserved for the most severe mental illnesses, doubled from 2001 to 2010.
There was a stark drop in use of antidepressants among those 19 and under, however. Usage has fallen since a 2004 warning from the Food and Drug Administration that the drugs could increase suicidal thoughts. Prescriptions for anti-anxiety medication among people 65 and older also fell over the last decade.
Reasons behind the growing popularity of medications for mental illness is debatable. Understanding the upswing “is the next critical goal,” Dr. Martha Sanjatovic, a professor of psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, said in a statement released by Medco.
Said Dr. David Muzino of the Medco Neuroscience Therapeutic Research Center: “[W]hat is not clear is if more people — especially women — are actually developing psychological disorders that require treatment, or if they are more willing to seek out help and clinicians are better at diagnosing these conditions than they once were.”
But, he noted, it was a tough decade: the 9/11 attacks, two wars and a deep recession.
Overcoming Chronic Resentment and the Abuse It Causes
By Steven Stosny
Created Aug 5 2011 – 7:26am
Recovery from relationships that have suffered chronic resentment is long, complex, and fraught with setbacks, whether the couple breaks up or tries to repair the damage done to the union.
Unlike anger, which is stimulated by discreet incidents or thoughts, chronic resentment is a general ego defense – the more fragile the ego, the more resentment required for defense. For those most in need, ego-defense is more important than learning, truth, and reason. Hence resentment greatly distorts thinking – through oversimplification, confirmation bias, inability to grasp other perspectives, and impaired reality-testing (inability to distinguish thoughts from reality). Over time, resentment becomes a world view or way of life. Because the resentful have to devalue others to protect their fragile egos, chronic resentment in intimate relationships inevitably leads to some form of verbal or emotional abuse and, eventually – if the couple hangs in there – to contempt and disgust.
Characteristics of Chronic Resentment in Relationships
High emotional reactivity – a negative feeling in one triggers chaos or shut down in the other
External regulation of emotions – unpleasant emotions are regulated by attempts to control or devalue the other
Power struggles – try to “win” or exert power rather than reconcile and connect
Criticism, stonewalling, defensiveness, contempt
Walking on eggshells – both parties feel this, but typically one will internalize, second-guess, and reangle the self in vain attempts to avoid the other’s resentment or abuse
Narrow and rigid emotional range – the parties seesaw between resentment and depression, with little emotional experience in between.
Larsson especially liked the idea about a grown up Pippi Longstocking, a dysfunctional girl with borderline personality, who would have had a hard time finding a regular place in the ‘normal society’ and he used part of those characteristics when he created Lisbeth Salander.
Something I stumbled across over the weekend. Talk about “I Hate You. Don’t Leave Me!”
Emotional Idiot
Maggie Estep
I’m an Emotional Idiot
so get away from me.
I mean,
COME HERE.
Wait, no,
that’s too close,
give me some space
it’s a big country,
there’s plenty of room,
don’t sit so close to me.
Hey, where are you?
I haven’t seen you in days.
Whadya, having an affair?
Who is she?
Come on,
aren’t I enough for you?
God,
You’re so cold.
I never know what you’re thinking.
You’re not very affectionate.
I mean,
you’re clinging to me,
DON’T TOUCH ME,
what am I, your fucking cat?
Don’t rub me like that.
Don’t you have anything better to do
than sit there fawning over me?
Don’t you have any interests?
Hobbies?
Sailing Fly fishing
Archeology?
There’s an archeology expedition leaving tomorrow
why don’t you go?
I’ll loan you the money,
my money is your money.
my life is your life
my soul is yours
without you I’m nothing.
Move in with me
we’ll get a studio apartment together, save on rent,
well, wait, I mean, a one bedroom,
so we don’t get in each other’s hair or anything
or, well,
maybe a two bedroom
I’ll have my own bedroom,
it’s nothing personal
I just need to be alone sometimes,
you do understand,
don’t you?
Hey, why are you acting distant?
Where you goin’,
was it something I said?
What
What did I do?
I’m an emotional idiot
so get away from me
I mean,
MARRY ME.
You can buy Maggie Estep’s “Diary of an Emotional Idiot” below:
Interestingly enough, anythingtostopthepain.com was “personality analyzed” by http://www.typealyzer.com/ which found the following…. What’s weird is that my personality type is not INTP. Oops, the bold seems to show that I am less than compassionate when blogging!
The analysis indicates that the author of http://www.anythingtostopthepain.com is of the type:
INTP – The Thinkers The logical and analytical type. They are especially attuned to difficult creative and intellectual challenges and always look for something more complex to dig into. They are great at finding subtle connections between things and imagine far-reaching implications. They enjoy working with complex things using a lot of concepts and imaginative models of reality. Since they are not very good at seeing and understanding the needs of other people, they might come across as arrogant, impatient and insensitive to people that need some time to understand what they are talking about.
Article about Dr. Richard Davidson and the brain science of happiness…
Scientist inspired by Dalai Lama studies happiness
MADISON, Wis. – After hearing about his cutting-edge research on the brain and emotions through mutual friends, the Dalai Lama invited Richard Davidson to his home in India in 1992 to pose a question.
Scientists often study depression, anxiety and fear, but why not devote your work to the causes of positive human qualities like happiness and compassion? the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader asked.
“I couldn’t give him a good answer,” recalled Davidson, a University of Wisconsin-Madison neuroscientist.
Since then, Davidson has become a partner in the Dalai Lama’s attempts to build a connection between Buddhism and western science. This weekend, the Dalai Lama will mark the opening of the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the university’s Waisman Center, where more than a dozen researchers will study the science behind positive qualities of mind. Davidson said the center will be the only one in the world with a meditation room next to a brain imaging laboratory.
Davidson’s research has used brain imaging technology on Buddhist monks and other veteran practitioners of meditation to try to learn how their training affects mental health.
His team’s findings suggest meditation and other “contemplative practices” can improve compassion, empathy, kindness and attention. They support the concept that even adult brains can change through experience and learning.
“He’s made some interesting discoveries about meditation, and I think he is doing very good science,” said John Wiley, who was university chancellor from 2001 to 2008 and is interim director of the Wisconsin Institutes for Discovery.
Initially, “a significant number of his colleagues around the world were suspicious and thought that it wasn’t adequately grounded in hard science,” Wiley said. “He’s proved them wrong.”
The appearance comes as the Dalai Lama has spent more time promoting research into traditional Buddhist meditative practices and urging scientists to help create a more ethical and peaceful world.
Davidson, named one of Time magazine’s most 100 influential people in 2006, will appear with the Dalai Lama at scientific events five times this year.
“His relationship with the Dalai Lama lends a great deal of public influence to the hard science that he does,” said David Addiss, a former Centers for Disease Control official who now works at the Fetzer Institute, a Michigan nonprofit that gave Davidson a $2.5 million grant.
Yet Davidson’s relationship with the Dalai Lama remains controversial. When he invited the Dalai Lama to speak at a 2005 neuroscience conference, dozens of researchers signed a petition in protest.
Some of the criticism appeared motivated by Chinese researchers who disagree politically with the Dalai Lama’s stance on Tibet. Others said it was an inappropriate mix of faith with science.
Davidson, who meditates every morning but does not consider himself a practicing Buddhist, has also been criticized for being too close to someone with an interest in the outcome of his research.
Davidson said the Dalai Lama’s commitment to science is remarkable for a religious leader of his stature, and notes that the Dalai Lama has said he is prepared to give up any part of Buddhism that is contradicted by scientific fact.
“He also is the first one to point out the limitations of meditation and how it’s not a cure all and be all for everything and has very limited effects on health,” Davidson said.
Davidson is ready to test his research in real-world situations. The center plans to begin training local fifth-grade teachers next fall to cultivate skills like patience and relaxation among their students.
“We’re really intrigued with his research that shows students can learn how to relax so they can focus more on learning,” said Sue Abplanalp, assistant superintendent for elementary schools in the Madison public schools.
Sorry all if you have been to ATSTP over the past couple of days can gotten “Error: can’t access database” or something of that sort. My hosting company has informed me that traffic to the server has been unusually heavy over the past few days. Things seem to be getting a bit better as of today. I noticed personally that when I logged into my host to try to trouble-shoot the problem myself, it was really slow.
Courtney Love in wake of losing custody of Frances Bean: ‘terrible influences, pure evil’
By Vicki Hyman/The Star-Ledger
December 15, 2009, 10:29AM
Courtney and Frances Bean
Courtney Love has left a string of only occasionally coherent messages on her Facebook page in the wake of a Los Angeles court decision to give temporary custody of Frances Bean Cobain to the girl’s paternal grandmother: “cruelty to children and people too young to understand that under that rock isnt gold its only,.,,,,, utah on steroids” and “terrible influences, pure evil. and a poor baby caught inside a trap”.
That clears things up.
Love’s lawyer tells People that Frances Bean, Love’s daughter with dead rock icon Kurt Cobain, wanted to live with her grandmother, and the judge’s decision should not be taken as confirmation that Love has had a drug relapse.
“Courtney’s been clean for years and is perfectly fine,” Keith A. Fink says. “Frances is 17 and a strong-willed child, and this is a decision she made on her own. No matter what, Courtney loves her daughter more than anything in the world.”
Frances Bean has reportedly always been close with her grandmother, who had custody during a particularly messy period (and that’s saying something) of Love’s life in 2003 and 2004.
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While not BPD-related, this is a story that was posted by a member of the ATSTP Group to let us remember our priorities. Neither the poster or I know the origin of this story:
