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Five things you can do today to improve your relationship
Five simple steps you can take today to improve your relationship with your partner. Hi, my name is Michelle Marshall and I’m Bon’s first guest blogger and wanted to thank him for asking me to do this. I’m currently working on a book about improving your marriage/relationship. My daughter and Bon’s went to the same therapist group. I’ve adapted some principles from that therapy as well as some other experiences I’ve had with my husband. Here goes: Drop the “shoulds” and practice acceptance. You can’t change other people’s feelings or actions. You have no control over the other person, even your partner. While you may feel that things should be…
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Beyond Boundaries now available in a printed format
My follow-up to When Hope is Not Enough, entitled Beyond Boundaries, is now available in a printed format from the publisher. You can buy a copy by clicking on the cover: No related posts.
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Mom Was Right: Clean Your Room
People are apparently sensitive to information they get from the environment to the point that it influences decisions they make about what is moral and what is acceptable behavior. For emotionally sensitive people, the message from environmental cues seems to be a particularly strong. My experience is that the environment affects the mood and identity of emotionally sensitive people. Bon: I love the Emotionally Sensitive Person blog over at Psychcentral. Here is a post about an orderly environment and the effects on an emotionally sensitive person. Mom Was Right: Clean Your Room By KARYN HALL, PHD In his book Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change, Timothy Wilson described…
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Boundaries and My Life
I don’t usually get personal on this blog. Today, I have decided to get a bit personal. My “emotional” daughter has been texting me – worried about her mother’s (my wife’s) behavior. We have been going back and forth, trying to figure out what we could do to be effective in this situation. Eventually, I had to apply my boundary with my wife. I had to tell her “I will not talk to you when you’re in this state”. It was tough, yet it was the elephant in the room. The thing is… and this is what you nonBPDs need to learn about boundaries (and about which I have written…
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Reinforcement and “Behaving Better”
Reinforcement, especially positive reinforcement, is a powerful teaching tool. You could more accurately say “training” tool. You have probably used reinforcement in your life without even realizing it. Consider potty training. If you have ever potty-trained (or as many modern texts call it “toilet taught”) a toddler, you know how difficult that task can be. However, all kids eventually learn to use the potty – I don’t know of a case of a kid going into high school without knowing how to use the potty. Potty training provides an excellent example of positive reinforcement and the ignoring of “backsliding.” That is the essence of this tool. When you teach a…
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Beyond Boundaries eBook now available on the Kindle!
I am pleased to announce that my eBook Beyond Boundaries is now available on the Kindle (and other Kindle format devices/readers). The price has been dropped dramatically because I had to remove the graphs, pictures and change the format slightly to make the content make sense on the Kindle. Some information about Beyond Boundaries: My new eBook needs some explaining I think… It is an attempt of mine to bring together the ideas that I presented in “When Hope is Not Enough” plus some new ideas with which I have been working. I adjusted my “model” of BPD slightly beyond that which was presented in “When Hope is Not Enough”.…
