I’ve posted a poll on my blog (on the left sidebar) about Rh- blood. I have found that many of my list member’s BP loved ones have Rh- blood. Does your BP have a Rh- blood type? Obviously, it’s not scientific, but I’d like to know.

Bon Dobbs :: Jul.03.2008 :: Odds and Ends :: No Comments »

Here’s an article from CNN about guns in homes:

More than half firearm deaths are suicides

• Story Highlights
• Recent Supreme Court ruling on guns focused on protection from home invasion
• Suicides accounted for 55 percent of nearly 31,000 firearm deaths in 2005 in U.S.
• More gun-related suicides than homicides and accidents in 20 of last 25 years
• Research shows if gun in home, higher likelihood of suicide or homicide in home

ATLANTA, Georgia, (AP) — The Supreme Court’s landmark ruling on gun ownership last week focused on citizens’ ability to defend themselves from intruders in their homes. But research shows that surprisingly often, gun owners use the weapons on themselves.

Suicides accounted for 55 percent of the nation’s nearly 31,000 firearm deaths in 2005, the most recent year for which statistics are available from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

There was nothing unique about that year — gun-related suicides have outnumbered firearm homicides and accidents for 20 of the last 25 years. In 2005, homicides accounted for 40 percent of gun deaths. Accidents accounted for 3 percent. The remaining 2 percent included legal killings, such as when police do the shooting, and cases that involve undetermined intent.

Public-health researchers have concluded that in homes where guns are present, the likelihood that someone in the home will die from suicide or homicide is much greater.

Studies have also shown that homes in which a suicide occurred were three to five times more likely to have a gun present than households that did not experience a suicide, even after accounting for other risk factors.

In a 5-4 decision, the high court on Thursday struck down a handgun ban enacted in the District of Columbia in 1976 and rejected requirements that firearms have trigger locks or be kept disassembled. The ruling left intact the district’s licensing restrictions for gun owners.

One public-health study found that suicide and homicide rates in the district dropped after the ban was adopted. The district has allowed shotguns and rifles to be kept in homes if they are registered, kept unloaded and taken apart or equipped with trigger locks.

The American Public Health Association, the American Association of Suicidology and two other groups filed a legal brief supporting the district’s ban. The brief challenged arguments that if a gun is not available, suicidal people will just kill themselves using other means.

More than 90 percent of suicide attempts using guns are successful, while the success rate for jumping from high places was 34 percent. The success rate for drug overdose was 2 percent, the brief said, citing studies.

“Other methods are not as lethal,” said Jon Vernick, co-director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Gun Policy and Research in Baltimore.

The high court’s majority opinion made no mention of suicide. But in a dissenting opinion, Justice Stephen Breyer used the word 14 times in voicing concern about the impact of striking down the handgun ban.

“If a resident has a handgun in the home that he can use for self-defense, then he has a handgun in the home that he can use to commit suicide or engage in acts of domestic violence,” Breyer wrote.

Researchers in other fields have raised questions about the public-health findings on guns.

Gary Kleck, a researcher at Florida State University’s College of Criminology and Criminal Justice, estimates there are more than 1 million incidents each year in which firearms are used to prevent an actual or threatened criminal attack.

Public-health experts have said the telephone survey methodology Kleck used likely resulted in an overestimate. iReport.com: Watch William Bernstein share his views on gun ownership

Both sides agree there has been a significant decline in the last decade in public-health research into gun violence.

The CDC traditionally was a primary funder of research on guns and gun-related injuries, allocating more than $2.1 million a year to such projects in the mid-1990s.

But the agency cut back research on the subject after Congress in 1996 ordered that none of the CDC’s appropriations be used to promote gun control.

Vernick said the Supreme Court decision underscores the need for further study into what will happen to suicide and homicide rates in the district when the handgun ban is lifted.

Today, the CDC budgets less than $900,000 for firearm-related projects, and most of it is spent to track statistics. The agency no longer funds gun-related policy analysis.

Now, consider that a person with BPD is 400 times more likely to commit suicide than the general public. And consider that:

Nearly 3/4 of borderlines attempt suicide or display self-mutilating behaviors like cutting themselves with razors or burning themselves. Only about 10% of suicide attempts are successful.

If only 10% of suicides are sucessful and 75% attempt suicide, what do you think the successful suicide rate for BPD would be if they all had access to a gun? Suicide attempts in BPD are usually impulsive. They are not usually a “call for help” or manipulative. A lot of non-BPs think that they are, but typically the suicide is not thought out. The BP just wants to end the huge amount of pain that they are in. They will use whatever method is at hand (i.e. take all the pills in the cabinent). If a handgun is at hand and loaded, suicide is much more likely to occur.

 If you look at Kurt Cobain (who MAY have had BPD), he tried to commit suicide with pills at one point (that we know of) and drug overdose is not very effective. When he got a hold of his shotgun, the deed was done. From the above CNN article:

More than 90 percent of suicide attempts using guns are successful, while the success rate for jumping from high places was 34 percent. The success rate for drug overdose was 2 percent, the brief said, citing studies.

So, gun suicides are 90% sucessful, drug overdose 2%. Please don’t keep a loaded gun around someone with BPD.

Bon Dobbs :: Jul.02.2008 :: Suicide, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 1 Comment »

What separates my book from SWOE and other popular Non-BP Books?

Well, first of all… I am still with my BP wife of almost 20 years. Many books (including “One way ticket to Kansas”, “Tears and Healing” and “Stop Walking on Eggshells”) are written by people who are no longer with their “BP’s.” I have found a way to live peacefully beside my BP (diagnosed BTW). Also, I actually tell you exactly HOW to talk with your BP, to effectively deal with someone with BPD - unlike these other books. I tell you exactly what to say and how to say it. I tell you how to get your feelings noticed and inserted into the conversation.

Try it… you’ll like it (or maybe you will not like it… It is not an easy road… believe me, I know) .

Bon Dobbs :: Jul.01.2008 :: Resources, Borderline Personality Disorder :: No Comments »

Ignored Psych patient dies in NY hospital….

Ignored Psych Patient Dies on Hospital Floor

Video Shows Death in NYC Hospital Already Faces a Lawsuit for ‘Squalid’ Psych Care

By DAVID SCHOETZ

July 1, 2008—

Even pared down to a few minutes, the hour-long surveillance video is disturbing.

At 5:32 a.m. June 19, a woman in a hospital gown in the waiting area of the psychiatric emergency room of a New York City hospital topples first to her knees before collapsing on her face.

A full hour passes. Other people stream in and out of the waiting room, including hospital security guards. The woman writes something on the ground before going completely still. Finally, someone takes notice and alerts the staff. But by then, at 6:36 a.m., the woman is already dead.

The woman, 49-year-old Esmin Green, died on the floor of the waiting room at the Kings County Hospital Center Psychiatric Emergency Department. Her exact cause of death has not been released.

The native of Jamaica, who had been waiting for a bed when she collapsed, had been involuntarily admitted the previous day for “agitation and psychosis,” according to the City Health and Hospital Corp., which acknowledged June 20 that Green had been left unattended on the ground for an hour.

Alan Aviles, the president of the Health and Hospital Corp., had already announced that six hospital employees, including staff members who oversee patient care and security, face disciplinary action for their lack of response. Two of the employees were fired, while four unionized staff members must go through termination proceedings.

The hospital, in the Brooklyn borough of New York City, may have a much bigger problem on its hands. In May, Kings County Hospital was targeted in a federal lawsuit by three organizations that described hospital conditions as “inhumane.” Attorneys for the plaintiff released the footage of Green’s death Monday night to illustrate in brutal detail some of the allegations made in the suit.

The Mental Hygiene Legal Service, New York Civil Liberties Union and Kirland & Ellis LLP filed the lawsuit after an investigation at the hospital “showed that Kings County psychiatric facilities are overcrowded and often dangerously unsanitary and that patients — including children and the physically disabled — are routinely ignored and abused,” according to the groups’ May 3 release announcing the suit.

The groups claim that alleged mistreatment of patients at the hospital is a violation of the federal Americans With Disabilities Act as well as several New York State provisions that guarantee the delivery of mental health services in a safe and sanitary manner.

Aviles is named as one of the lead defendants in the 36-page suit, which specifically cites five patients, all with some type of disability, who allege “abusive and neglectful” treatment at Kings County.

One patient, L.D., claimed that she was laughed at when she asked to call her family and was placed in a bed with soiled sheets. Another patient, identified as J.P., said that she had to sleep sitting up in a wheelchair after she got up in the night to use the bathroom and returned to find another patient in her bed.

The New York Daily News reported that in addition to the neglect in Green’s case, staff members entered false information into her medical chart during the hour in which she lay on the ground to cover up the lack of treatment.

At 6 a.m. on the morning of her death, according to the Daily News, Green’s medical chart reportedly listed the patient as “awake, up and about, went to the bathroom.” Green had been in the same spot on the ground for more than a half-hour. At 6:08 a.m., she stopped moving, according to the footage. But her chart described her at 6:20 a.m. as “sitting quietly in the waiting room.” In reality, she may have already been dead.

Ana Marengo, a spokeswoman for the Health and Hospital Corp., would not address the exact entries in Green’s medical chart, but did say, “There appears to be some discrepancies” that have been forwarded, along with the entire case, to various New York City investigative departments.

“It is clear that some of our employees failed to act based on our compassionate standards of care,” administrators wrote in a statement last night that followed the video’s release.

Hospital administrators outlined a series of improvements already made to the Kings County psychiatric program, including the addition of staff and expanding space to cope with overcrowding. They pledged a series of improvements, including the appointment of an “interim administrator” who will report directly to Aviles, and a guarantee that patients in the psychiatric emergency unit will be checked on every 15 minutes.

In June, USA Today reported that nearly 80 percent of hospitals said that mentally ill patients sometimes wait up to four hours or more for emergency care, citing a study by the American College of Emergency Physicians that surveyed 328 emergency medical directors.

Physicians blamed the delayed care on shrinking budgets that have prompted many hospitals to either consolidate mental health services or shut them down completely. Since 2000, the number of psychiatric beds has dropped 12 percent, according to the medical organization’s statistics.

Copyright © 2008 ABC News Internet Ventures

Bon Dobbs :: Jul.01.2008 :: Odds and Ends, Treatment :: 1 Comment »

Press is reporting Heather Locklear checked into a mental facility for an eval. Wonder if they’ll disclose the diagnosis?

Admitted for depression

Vicki Salemi

Heather Locklear has checked herself into an in-patient treatment facility in Arizona. The quintessential evening soap opera vixen is on the road to recovery. And no, it’s not for substance abuse.

As for the reason? To deal with issues of anxiety, depression, and to re-evaluate her current condition. We give props to the 46 year-old actress who apparently recently switched doctors and is taking a pro-active stance towards her mental health. The new doc recommended that her condition and medication be re-evaluated.

While her publicist confirmed that Heather’s been dealing with anxiety and depression, it seems she’s taking it head on: by entering the facility she’ll get a proper diagnosis and treatment.

Actually, a few months ago paramedics were called to her home. Her psychiatrist called 9-1-1 and told authorities there was concern for a possible overdose attempt on prescription meds. Well, paramedics left her home extremely quickly after arrival and deemed everything was all right.

As for the back story, last year her ex-husband and Bon Jovi band member Richie Sambora stayed in a treatment facility last year. Their ten year-old daughter Ava is staying with family at the moment.

Best wishes, Heather!

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.26.2008 :: Celebrities, Suicide :: 2 Comments »

From USA Today…

Mentally ill face extra-long ER waits

By Julie Appleby, USA TODAY

Psychiatric patients who need hospitalization wait for hours in emergency departments for admission because hospitals are dropping mental health units and beds are scarce, a new survey says.

Nearly 80% of hospitals said mentally ill patients sometimes wait four hours or more to be admitted, says the American College of Emergency Physicians, which surveyed 328 emergency medical directors. About 10% said patients wait more than a day on average.

Average admission times for non-psychiatric patients were shorter: Only 30% of directors said those patients waited four hours or more. Yet 84% of the medical directors said ER wait times for all patients would drop if their hospitals had better psychiatric services.

Only half of the hospitals surveyed had psychiatric units. The rest transferred patients, sometimes far from homes and families. Hospitals are closing their units because of inadequate payments from government and insurers, unpaid costs for the uninsured and too few psychiatrists willing to work in hospitals, says James Bentley of the American Hospital Association.

Patients with mental illness “are the ones we hold the longest because there are so few psychiatric services available, and the ones that are available are overwhelmed,” says David Mendelson, of the physicians group.

The long waits can be troublesome for mentally ill patients, says Bruce Schwartz, director of psychiatry at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, N.Y. “For individuals in need of admission because they’re psychotic or severely depressed, it can be a very uncomfortable, scary, disorienting time.”

The survey found 61% of hospitals do not have psychiatry staff caring for ER patients while they wait, although they receive treatment for other medical problems.

The poll comes amid growing concern about wait times and overcrowding in the nation’s ERs, which experienced a 14% jump in visits for all illnesses and injuries from 2001 to 2005.

Since 2000, the number of psychiatric beds in U.S. community hospitals dropped 12%, the association’s statistics show. The number of hospital beds overall fell 4%.

In March, the closure of Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital’s psychiatric unit left California’s Sonoma County without hospital-based care for mentally ill patients. Now patients must be taken 40 miles or more away to other hospitals.

“It’s not unheard of for people to spend a night or even a couple of nights (in the ER),” says Sonoma County Mental Health Services Director Art Ewart.

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.23.2008 :: Treatment, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 1 Comment »

So, it turns out that smoking crack is bad for you…

Cocaine ‘damaged Winehouse’s lungs’

Amy Winehouse could struggle to catch her breath and hit high notes as a result of suffering emphysema, a lung expert has said.

The singer’s father spoke out at the weekend about his worries that Winehouse could lose her life unless she kicks her drug habit.

In an interview with the Sunday Mirror, Mitch Winehouse said his daughter - who was rushed to hospital recently after collapsing - had developed the chronic lung disease emphysema, possibly brought on by smoking crack cocaine.

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.23.2008 :: Celebrities, Substance Abuse :: No Comments »

Well, well, well… I don’t know why but apparently I continue to be a subject at WTO. Weird. I posted about this a few days ago. I’ve been out of touch with the blog for a few days, while I do family stuff and take care of my email list. I really admire the people on my list; they do a great job of being both honest and validating with one another - while at the same time providing constructive advice to one another.

Boundaries… I’ve posted about boundaries many times before. I think boundaries are one of the most misunderstood concepts in the non-BP/BP relationship. While it is difficult to be a parent of anyone (much less someone with BPD) and provide no guidance to your child - I mean, it is natural to want to provide some advice and guidance to children - boundaries in the sense that many people on the Internet understand them are not effective in an emotional situation. Now, WAIT! Actually boundaries ARE effective… OK, how can I say they aren’t effective and are effective at the same time?

The major problem with boundaries is that most of the Nons out there believe that boundaries are something to “control” or “moderate” their BP’s behavior. This concept is absolutely ineffective and untrue. Boundaries created for other people (whether they have BPD or not) are not effective - especially when the other person has a general fear of judgment like those with BPD. Those types of boundaries are not really boundaries at all - they are RULES for the behavior of another person. They will not work in emotional situations.

Boundaries that DO work are those you set for yourself with respect to other people’s behavior. In other words, boundaries that guide your OWN behavior are effective ones. If you say to someone, “I will not go to a resuarant with you if you are drunk” (for example), what you are really doing is setting a boundary that limits/affects your OWN behavior given certain conditions. That type of boundary is effective because you, as a non-BP, have complete control over it. You can choose NOT to do something given a set of conditions.

I would encourage you to examine what you ”boundaries” you have in place and see if they are rules for other people’s behaviors or if they are actual personal boundaries that manage your own behavior and reactions. If they are the former, I expect you will end up being frustrated quickly. If they are the later, then you can find some peace when they are applied to a given situation. This statement isn’t meant to imply that someone with BPD will automatically accept your application of personal boundaries (to yourself). No, they might rage at you or try and convince you to do otherwise (i.e. go to the restaurant even if they are drunk), but you are the master of your own behavior and you can always be firm and say, “No.”

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.21.2008 :: Resources, Boundaries, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 4 Comments »

Well, I’ve looked over recent keywords that find my blog and found these to be interesting (with my comment in parenthesis):

• borderline tough love (it doesn’t work see this post)
• bpd not wrong (I wonder a BP saying they’re not wrong or a non-bp complaining about it?)
• bpd impacts on loved ones (big ones! That’s the whole point of the site huh?)
• how to stop ruminating (It isn’t easy. Mindfulness helps.)
• dumped out of the blue bpd (yeah, it happens)
• how to stop a demonic possession (I’m amazed at the number of demonic possession believers out there)
• here is the last two digits of my social (ok, where is the rest? - haha)
• bpd inability to love (sad…)
• bpd look of hate evil (I’ve seen it.)
• outlandish lies (poor guy/gal)
• best site anythingtostopthepain (my favorite of the group)
• cocaine and bpd (not a good combo)
• bpd wife bitch (bitter much?)
• shall i contact my ex who has bpd (not if you don’t have to)
• how do i validate my borderline daughter (nice… I’m glad you’re trying!)
• “borderline personality” evil (evil again)
• drunk housewives (is this someone looking for porn? or support? Maybe a new ABC show?)
• bpd are evil (evil again!)
• how do you stop a demonic possession (you can’t - it doesn’t exist. I guess you can stop believing in it.)

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.16.2008 :: Stats, Odds and Ends, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 2 Comments »

Apparently, someone over at Welcome to Oz (WTO) Internet list posted a message asking about me and what I am all about concerning BPD and Non-BPs. This lead to a huge spike in traffic with my average number of accesses basically doubling over the weekend. I’m still a member of WTO, so I decided to login and take a look at what people are saying about me over there. I haven’t posted in years and haven’t logged in in months.

Obviously, there are many, many new people who have no idea who I am or what I’m about. There are a few members still hanging around who do remember me. There are a couple of people who seem to have a pretty dim view of what I have to offer - although I think that those people don’t know me very well and have interacted with me only cursorily. First, today, I’d like to outline my philosophy about BPD and Non-BPs to clear up some of the mis-statements and mis-perceptions.

• I do believe that BPD is a serious mental illness and not a case of a “behavioral disorder.” In other words, BPD is not merely a case of someone just behaving badly. I further believe that much of the core issue with someone with BPD is emotional and based on poor emotional regulation skills. The reaction to strong negative emotions (and other factors, like  shame and impulsiveness) cause the “poor behavior.” I put that in quotes because the behavior has a function and the function IMO is to make the BP feel better. A person (whether they have BP or not) CAN learn to behave differently in the face of strong negative emotions. It takes practice and requires the acquisition of emotional skills. However, I also believe that the emotional under-pinnings are not going to disappear, just because the person with BPD learns to behave more effectively. Emotionally, they are just more sensitive than other people - that is the way they are. In other words, I don’t believe that I have a “cure” for BPD, which was bandied about at WTO.
• I also believe that the only person that you can change in a relationship is yourself. It is my opinion that once you change your own approach to emotional situations, the person with whom you are having the relationship will react to the change in various ways. Sometimes they will have a fit. Sometimes they will appreciate the “new you.” And sometimes a complex combination of emotions will arise. My “methods” are a combination of emotional understanding (of your own emotions and of theirs), emotional validation (which is complex in itself), positive reinforcement and “inserting your (the Non’s) feelings” into the conversation. There are some other skills and sub-skills, but that’s a quick synopsis. IMO this complex combination of skills (which also require practice) will improve the relationship and make sure that you don’t “walk on eggshells” around the other person. Boundaries can help - however, boundaries are a subject unto themselves, and I find that most people don’t know what boundaries are and how to apply them properly.
• There was some argument at WTO that my motives were suspect, because I am trying to make some money on what I have learned and practiced thus far. I think the operative word here is trying, because I don’t really make enough money to even operate this website at a break-even level. No, I’ve not made much money at all as a “professional Non-BP” (if that’s what I am). What I have been able to do is have an impact on the lives of many people. That is pretty satisfying in itself, and I will not pretend that I wouldn’t like to do it full-time. I certainly enjoy interacting with others in my situation and exchanging advice, strategies, knowledge, etc. more than my “day-job.” But it will be a long time (and probably never) before I will be able to do that. Besides, most of my support activity and knowledge-sharing I do for free - either here on in my Google Group. There’s no charge for participating in that group or to read these posts. At this point, any money I do make just contributes to the cost of operating this website.
• I don’t think that BPs have to be “let off the hook” and that they have no responsibility when it comes to a relationship. I also don’t think that you, as a Non-BP, have to forgo your feelings to live alongside a person with BPD. Both of those ideas were suggested at WTO. Neither is true. I think everyone in a relationship will have emotions, reactions, expectations, etc. Everyone is allowed to have each of these. Everyone has certain responsibilities in a relationship as well. What I DO advocate is looking at the function behind behavior and understanding the dynamic that exists. Many times I’ve seen people suggest that my methods give the BP “undo advantage” in a relationship. Huh? I thought this was a “loved one?” I don’t think that “love is a battlefield.” It’s not us-agains- them. That is just more black-and-white thinking on the part of the Non. If you’re going through a bloody divorce with someone with BPD, I can certainly understand where this might come into play, but, as I have said, my methods are about “living with and loving” someone with BPD. There is responsibility on both sides of the fence. It takes a certain environment IMO to make sure that responsibility is acknowledged - and that environment has to be one that is validating, otherwise you’re going to be caught in a shame hurricane. Nothing will get accomplished.
• Finally, I believe that effective emotional skills are helpful for anyone in any relationship. Anger, sadness, spite, resentment, blame, etc., etc. lead to a corrosive environment within any relationship. My “methods” attempt to reverse some of the corrosiveness and build stronger, healthier emotional relationships. You may not agree with my methods, which is fine. Personally, I’ve had to try everything to find anything that worked.

I guess it’s better to be talked about a little, whether it is positive or negative, than to be ignored. Thanks to a group member of mine who notified me of the discussion and who defended me (you know who you are).

Bon Dobbs :: Jun.16.2008 :: Resources, Odds and Ends, Stats, Blame, Biology, Validation, Emotions, Borderline Personality Disorder :: 1 Comment »