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Parenting with a BP Spouse
I wanted to start re-posting on my blog and the subject of the day is parenting style. I have noticed that there seems to be a conflict between the parenting styles of a person with BPD and that of a non’s spouse. It seems that (maybe because of the invalidation that the BP has experienced) the BP is likely to be harsher with punishments and more likely to invalidate a child’s feelings. I don’t know if this is because the BP sees the emotional volatility reflected in a child’s behavior and is guilty about it or because they never learned to deal with a child’s emotional swings in a way…
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Genetics and BPD
In this study, researchers posit that traits associated with BPD are inherited (impulsivity and emotional regulation). Here is a quote from the abstract: The effect of genes on the development of BPD is likely substantial. The effect of common family environment may be close to zero. While the study doesn’t conclude that BPD is 100% inherited, it does point to certain genetic factors in the BPD adaptive behaviors (or maladaptive). The main point of posting this is to chip away at the myth that BPD and other personality disorders are all the “fault” of parenting or abusive environments. One of the big problems that I have seen in the social,…
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A Daughter with BPD who Lies
A Daughter with BPD who Lies This was my response on WTO to a woman who was very angry with her daughter for lying to her and for having friends over to her (the mother’s) house all night when the mother specifically prohibited it. The mother felt very manipulated and angry – she felt the daughter was disobeying her to hurt her. FYI, the daughter is 23 and was diagnosed with BPD when she was about 16. Hi. Yes, I thought that your daughter was in a situation like that – around 21-25, diagnosed with BPD and once in a residential facility. The reason I asked those specific questions is…
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A Note about BPD and Boundaries And SWOE
In my Google Group, I recently responded to a member about boundaries and the term “non”. In this message the word SWOE refers to the book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and WTO refers to the “Welcome to Oz” Yahoo mailing group (which is the largest Non group on the Internet). As you can see by my message I am not over enthusiastic about either: — snip The WTO site is all about the “non” and setting “boundaries” does this come from SWOE??? The non label does come from SWOE as far as I’ve been able to tell. It is in common usage now throuhgout the Internet and the BPD community…
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Adopted Children and BPD
This is a link to site positing that adopted children are often mis-diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Sometimes, BPD is characterized by an “”inability to connect”” with parents. In the case of adopted persons, the initial invalidation of being “”rejected”” by one’s birth parents can be a life-long struggle. I have found that in Family Support groups close to 40% of the children diagnosed with BPD were adopted. However, there is another theory that has been overlooked by this author. That is that the birth parents of these children may have exposed them to biological impulsivity. If the mothers of the adopted children are impulsive – having sex and…
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Blaming the parents
One of the big problems I have seen in meeting people with BPD children is that often the mental health professionals believe that the ONLY cause of BPD is childhood abuse. While 75% of adult female borderlines report childhood abuse (and many sexual abuse), what if those are the only ones that seek treatment? And what of the other 25%? In other words, parents of borderlines – who are confused, angry and scared about the welfare of their children – are often the ones blamed for the disorder by mental health professionals. A good corollary is the reactions of health care workers when someone appears at the hospital with a…