I wanted to start re-posting on my blog and the subject of the day is parenting style. I have noticed that there seems to be a conflict between the parenting styles of a person with BPD and that of a non’s spouse. It seems that (maybe because of the invalidation that the BP has experienced) the BP is likely to be harsher with punishments and more likely to invalidate a child’s feelings. I don’t know if this is because the BP sees the emotional volatility reflected in a child’s behavior and is guilty about it or because they never learned to deal with a child’s emotional swings in a way that is validating.
My wife can be very validating and understand at times (even more than me); however, she also takes the “life is hard” and “get over it/suck it up” route with our children at times. I don’t know if you other nons have experienced the same thing, but I see a lot of that in my Google Email Group. If you’d like to discuss this further, you can leave a comment here or, better, request to join the Anything to Stop the Pain Google Email Group by going here: