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Shame and Invalidation
Here’s a good site about invalidation: http://eqi.org/invalid.htm A quote: “Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone’s feelings. Constant invalidation may be one of the most significant reasons a person with high innate emotional intelligence suffers from unmet emotional needs later in life.(1) A sensitive child who is repeatedly invalidated becomes confused and begins to distrust his own emotions. He fails to develop confidence in and healthy use of his emotional brain– one of nature’s most basic survival tools. To adapt to this unhealthy and dysfunctional environment, the working relationship between his thoughts and feelings becomes twisted. His emotional responses, emotional management, and emotional development will likely…
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Levels of Validation
This www.dbtselfhelp.com site has much more information that I thought at first. I went to the site map and found a ton more stuff burried under the navigation. Here’s one good snippet on validation: When a person confides in you, they are not usually looking for advice or problem-solving unless they specifically ask for it. Rather, they are looking for validation. If you are not used to validating, here are some suggestions. There is no greater way to set a person at ease. Level One Overall show interest in the other person (through verbal, nonverbal cues), show that you are paying attention (nodding, eye contact, etc.) Ask questions – “What…
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Stop Walking on Eggshells and Boundaries
In the section on boundaries called “Determine Your Personal Limits” SWOE says this: “Personal limits are not about controlling or changing other people’s behavior. In fact, they’re not about other people at all. They’re about you, and what you need to do to take care of yourself.” I suppose many people misinterpret those things, thinking limits and boundaries are for the other person, not for themselves. No related posts.
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Language and what it reveals
I think that we need to examine our language to understand how judgment can creep into our attitudes. I believe that our language reveals the underlying beliefs about other people and this specifically applies to people with BPD. If we describe the person’s behavior as “nonsense” (with it most certainly can be because it is driven from emotional mind) or as “crazy” behavior, I believe this reveals judgment in our minds. Blaming never helps and labeling the other person as crazy or whatever, merely makes the problem much worse. If you examine your own thinking about the behaviors of others, you can discover and elimate judgment of the other person.…
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DBT and Acceptance
From Marsha Linehan article on everything2: Dr. Linehan’s education was based in the established field of cognitive-behavioral psychology, which the video refers to as `a technology of change’, focused on changing behavior through learning and experience. However, while treating borderlines in the early 1980s, Dr. Linehan decided that the cognitive-behavioral model that she was working with was insufficient, and that she needed to incorporate an element she calls `radical acceptance’. Dr. Linehan makes clear in her videotaped presentation that `acceptance’ was a real buzzword in psychology around the time that she started to promote DBT, but she maintains that her idea of `radical acceptance’ is different. When most psychologists talk…
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Famous People who Cut themselves
A link from self-injury.net, a site by a young self-injurer. These biographies were written by the author of the site. They include: Diana, Princess of Wales Colin Farrell Fiona Apple Johnny Depp Courtney Love Angelina Jolie Amy Winehouse (RIP) Pete Doherty Lindsay Lohan Darrell Hammond (recently added because he came out and said he cut himself) and others I wonder if any of these people are also borderlines. No star is willing to come out and publicly say they are. I have updated the link to go to the appropriate page. http://self-injury.net/media/famous-self-injurers [amazonshowcase_aae6001f3f5766bb5a55f3fb147c3088] [amazonshowcase_fca1b973869626c648b4713f66c7a2c8] No related posts.
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