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Does the mode of “failure to mentalize” determine the ineffective behavior of the borderline?
A few days I got a comment on my post “How mentalization and attachment might explain ‘high functioning’ Borderline”. The comment was from a self-proclaimed “quiet borderline”. I have gone back and forth on this blog, through posts and comments alike, on whether the term “high functioning” or “invisible borderline” is a myth, a reality or a made-up category. As I said in “The Myth of the High Functioning Borderline,” I have yet to discover a researcher or clinician using these terms. Until now. Dr. Margaret Cochran guest-blogged on Randi Krieger’s “Stop Walking on Eggshells” blog and used both terms (invisible and high-functioning). I really don’t know what her familiarity…
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Book Review: Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder
Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder by Valerie Porr is perhaps the most up-to-date and complete book for family members of people with BPD published to date. When I read the book, I couldn’t help but think that Ms. Porr had the therapists and mental health professional more in mind than the family members. It appears as though she is trying to dispel many myths about BPD that exist not only in the family environment but also in the mental health community. This book is steeped in scientific research, including research involving the biological under-pinnings of BPD. It includes many skills for family members from both DBT and mentalization based therapy (MBT).…
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Development/Transmission of BPD: Genetic, Environmental or Cultural?
I was reading an article called “Social cognition in borderline personality disorder: evidence for disturbed recognition of the emotions, thoughts, and intentions of others” and noticed a line in the article that said this: “Thus, in addition to high heritability of BPD (Torgersen et al., 2008), these results argue that environmental factors (e.g., trauma) contribute to disturbed social cognition in BPD. In summary, for the current study we expected PTSD to be a negative predictor of social cognition.” That intrigued me on two levels. One was the “high heritability” part, because often I see comments about BPD and how many people believe that it is mainly caused by childhood trauma…
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Intention and Consequence
I have written quite a bit about the reason that people with BPD behave in a certain fashion. Much of the impulsive behavior is to stop the pain. Yet, the behavior can still be destructive to relationships, even when it is not the intention of the person with BPD to hurt the other person. Intention is often misread with BPD. Here is one message about that from the ATSTP list (written by me): MANY times emotionally sensitive people will read intentions and states of mind into the other that are not aligned with reality. They might say that you’re being mean or trying to ruin their life. Clearing up intention…
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The power of “When you do this, I feel that”
Recently, in the ATSTP group we discussed the power of saying “when you do [whatever], I feel [whatever else].” This formulation of words is very powerful when dealing with an emotional person. It does a couple of things that are important. First, it lets the other person know that you have feelings as well. Sometimes someone with BPD will feel that they are the only one in the world with feelings to be hurt. DBT actually “encourages” this way of thinking IMO. Since DBT is all about the client’s emotions and behaviors, the “other’s” (the therapist) feelings and behaviors are not often taken into account. This situation is not really…
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Engagement without Entanglement
Is it even possible? The short answer is: yes. I see many nons hopelessly entangled with their borderlines. I don’t use the word “hopelessly” lightly. It is a difficult situation to be in and, unfortunately, in the world of human relationships, it is a natural situation to be in. One of the main issues as I see it is that we get our emotions engaged in the mix. When someone (anyone) is emotional, it is natural to “circle the wagons” so to speak. When we get emotional, other people’s intent, feelings and motivations disappear from our mind. This situation is particularly acute for borderlines. Their emotions become engaged rather quickly…