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Why do we need emotions?
We need our emotions for protection. When a car swerves in front of yours on the highway, your mind takes that cue as dangerous, triggers fear and almost automatically reacts to swerve out of the way. Even after the fear has dissipated, you may still feel the fear in your body. I remember once when I was on the highway (and talking on the cell phone), I saw a car seem to fly into the air two lanes over from me and a few cars in front. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion, because a postal truck, one of those with a van-like cab and a…
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What are emotions and why do we have them?
Emotions are built-in mechanisms for keeping us safe. The “base” of emotions in our brain is in the limbic system, deep within the core and just above the brain stem. I like to refer to emotions as the “land-bridge” between the mind and the body. When you experience emotions both your body and mind react. If you feel fearful, your body reacts by speeding up your heart-rate, contracting capillaries in your extremities (that is why you can “go pale”), and releasing adrenaline into your bloodstream. Your emotion, fear in this case, is preparing your body to run away fast, which is the natural reaction to fear. Emotions are, in some…
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You can tolerate frustration (even though it hurts)
Pain hurts. Frustration is painful. It’s bothersome but it is bound to be a part of life. Not getting what you want, or having what you like taken from you, not getting your way and the many other of life’s frustrations can make you suffer. Pain avoidance or the immediate cessation of frustration is one of life’s biggest motivators. Unfortunately, some of life’s frustrations don’t have an immediate remedy. Sometimes you have to live in a frustrating situation for a period of time. While you might start to believe “I can’t take it anymore,” I would encourage you to ask yourself, “Really? Can I not take it anymore?” Why do…
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How does one mentalize?
It is important to remember that mentalization is about NOW. It is not about any other moment than now. Therefore, if you aredragging old issues or future worries into the conversation (or if the other person is) then you are experiencing a “failure to mentalize.” You mentalize by continually monitoring the progress and state of a conversation. You mentalize by asking questions about thecurrent conversation, the feelings and intention of the other person and monitoring your own feelings and understanding of the current conversation. It is a natural skill and is built into the human mind; however, it is also a difficult skill, because we are often not mindful of…
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Someone to Call Home – #BPD and Attachment
Even as adults, sometimes people need their mommy. People with BPD, being so emotional, need other people a lot. The people thatare being needed are “attachment people.” The first attachment that a person makes in their life is usually to their mother. Some in the psychiatric community call BPD an “attachment disorder”, meaning the initial attachment with the mother is disordered in someway and it models future attachments which also become disordered. The birth of the self and how one looks at oneself is developed during the period of first attachment. If this attachment is done in a non-disordered way, the child develops a stable self image, one in which…
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Important Consequences of Dysregulated Behavior in #BPD
Since BPD is chiefly an emotional disorder and since shame is involved I have found the following about consequences for someone with BPD (from most important to least): Future Painful Emotions Judgment of Others Suffering of Others (especially children) Punishment What this means is that the “normal” (or natural) consequences might not actually “take” in someone with BPD. A threat of punishment is less likely to cause behavior change than the possibility of future negative emotions – the “I’m going to feel really bad when…” consequence. Adapted from Beyond Boundaries No related posts.