-
A Critical Analysis of the “3-C’s” of Being a Non-BP
Often I see in the support groups on the Internet (especially the “Welcome to Oz” or WTO groups), people providing the “3 C’s” of understanding your role as a Non-BP. I’ve seen it quoted on BPD support websites too. These “3 C’s” go as follows: I didn’t cause it I can’t control it I can’t cure it While these statements are generally true, I’d like to take some time to analyze these statements and add a fourth “C.” I’d also like to tell you what you CAN do – rather than what you didn’t or can’t do. These statements help take the onus off the Non-BP for any responsibility for…
-
WHINE Available as a Downloadable eBook
When Hope is Not Enough (WHINE) is my “staying” book for Non-BPs. Did you know that it is available as a downloadable eBook? Yes, that’s right, for $7.50 you can get a copy of the book about which one Amazon reviewer said: I have read the book and it amazes me how so much valuable information can be condensed into such a quick and easy read. It is written in a style that most anyone can understand and it is filled with useful examples on how to use this approach in everyday situations we all face with highly emotional people. Used correctly, the information provided in this book can help…
-
When Hope is Not Enough available in Canada
My Book, “When Hope is Not Enough,” is now available in Canada via Amazon: http://www.amazon.ca/When-Hope-Not-Enough-Dobbs/dp/1435719190/ BTW, it has been available in the UK for a while now: http://www.amazon.co.uk/When-Hope-Not-Enough-Dobbs/dp/1435719190/ No related posts.
-
My best review of When Hope is Not Enough
In Oct 2007, I was at my wits end and ready to walk away from my raging husband after 4 months of marriage. He had been in therapy for over a year, yet still raging almost daily, beating himself half to death, lying to me about the most ridiculous stuff and destroying our home. All this chaos was causing my 2 teenagers to alienate me out of fear of him. As a Project Manager, I had participated in many classes and seminars on effective communication in the workplace through my job, but it seemed that nothing I tried worked with my husband… most of the time, it only seemed to…
-
Amazing new study on BPD from Science Magazine
Someone forwarded this information to me this morning…. Science, an extraordinarily selective and highly prestigious publication, includes a report, “The Rupture and Repair of Cooperation in Borderline Personality Disorder,” by Brooks King-Casas and five collaborators (including Peter Fonagy) in its August 8th issue. The editors of Science felt this innovative research was of such potential importance that they provided almost two full of Science’s limited pages for a commentary, “Trust Me on This. Borderline personality disorder is associated with abnormal activity in a brain region associated with monitoring trust in relationships,” by Andreas Meyer-Lindenberg. The Brooks King-Casas, et al paper in Science is another indicator of innovative, significant research with…
-
When Tools Become Triggers
Why boundaries and detaching can make things worse…. I decided to write this post because I have seen many non-BPs frustrated over the fact that when they try to use the tools in certain books with their BP, the tools seem to cause more rage and emotional dysregulation. The two “tools” that I have found that cause the most problems are boundaries and detachment. I’ve already written a LOT about boundaries and where my view of boundaries diverges with some of the other “Non-BP authors.” Today, I’d like to turn to detachment. “Stop Walking on Eggshells” recommends on page 98, that a Non-BP “detach with love” from a BP and…