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Anything to Stop the Pain

Help for partners and parents of people with Borderline Personality Disorder – Non-BPDs by Bon Dobbs

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  • DBT,  DBT-FST,  WHINE Book

    Why I called the book “When Hope is Not Enough”

    November 21, 2017 / No Comments

    In 2007, I wrote the first edition of When Hope is Not Enough. When considering the title, I landed on this one because it rings true to a person who is a supporter and loved one of a person who meets the criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Back when I wrote the book, there were very few books on the subject (only about 2-3) and the most popular of the books – the one recommended by therapist across my country (US) and which had sold hundreds of thousands of copies – had been ineffective in my life. I just found that the skills offered in that book worked at…

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    Alan Fruzzetti speaks at McLean on Family Skills and Family Interactions with BPD

    January 9, 2017 / 1 Comment

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    Video: Understanding Validation in Families – Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD

    April 24, 2015 / No Comments

    DBT and validation in families. Want to learn validation and other skills? Read “When Hope is Not Enough”. No related posts.

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    Judgments – Mental Shortcuts, or Distortions in Reality?

    February 1, 2015 / No Comments

    Borderline personality disorder, a condition once considered “untreatable” by mental health professionals, can now effectively be managed with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Judgments – Mental Shortcuts, or Distortions in Reality? By Caroline Fleck He’s so smart; I’m chubby; she’s ugly; he’s bad for you; they’re perfect together – what do all of these statements have in common? They’re judgments; they reflect matters of opinion, not indisputable facts. That may not seem too terribly fascinating, or insightful, but bear with me. Because what is phenomenal, in my opinion, is the extent to which we allow our judgments to affect our decisions, mood, and functioning. The past 50 years alone have produced…

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    You can tolerate frustration (even though it hurts)

    December 8, 2014 / No Comments

    Pain hurts. Frustration is painful. It’s bothersome but it is bound to be a part of life. Not getting what you want, or having what you like taken from you, not getting your way and the many other of life’s frustrations can make you suffer. Pain avoidance or the immediate cessation of frustration is one of life’s biggest motivators. Unfortunately, some of life’s frustrations don’t have an immediate remedy. Sometimes you have to live in a frustrating situation for a period of time. While you might start to believe “I can’t take it anymore,” I would encourage you to ask yourself, “Really? Can I not take it anymore?” Why do…

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    Family Dynamics Around the Holiday Table

    November 21, 2014 / 1 Comment

    The holidays are often thought of as a time of warmth and happiness, family gathered around the table creating wonderful family memories. But for many of us, it can also be a time of angst and anxiety. (link to the article) There are many reasons you may feel stress. Perhaps you are a student struggling with school and are afraid of criticism from your family. You may be unemployed and don’t want to face questions about your job search or finances. Maybe you’ve put on or lost “too much” weight this year and are feeling self conscious. If you have been struggling with depression, mood swings or anxiety, you may…

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