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Anything to Stop the Pain

Help for partners and parents of people with Borderline Personality Disorder – Non-BPDs by Bon Dobbs

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  • Borderline Personality Disorder,  DBT,  Emotions,  Mindfulness,  Validation

    Being Mindful of Emotion to Validate Self and Others

    June 11, 2015 / No Comments

    Kelly Koerner, PhD – Dialectical Behavior Therapy: The State of the Art and Science – April 2-3 Seattle, WA   No related posts.

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  • Borderline Personality Disorder,  Emotions,  Validation

    8 things you can do to emotionally validate someone

    June 10, 2015 / No Comments

    Here are some things you can do and say to emotionally validate someone. Emotional validation is a great tool for interacting with an emotionally sensitive person like someone with BPD. Listen and be present. Listen and don’t speak right away. When someone is emotional, they want to be heard. Don’t fix their problem or give advice. They want to be heard, not advised. Reflect their emotions back accurately. After reading their emotions, reflect them back to the person to verify that you know how they feel. Focus on the emotions. If they weren’t experiencing strong emotions, they will not be acting the way they are. Don’t get caught up in the practical…

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  • DBT,  DBT-FST,  Validation,  Video

    Video: Understanding Validation in Families – Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD

    April 24, 2015 / No Comments

    DBT and validation in families. Want to learn validation and other skills? Read “When Hope is Not Enough”. No related posts.

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  • Borderline Personality Disorder,  Emotions,  Validation,  Video

    Video Explanation of I-AM-MAD Communication Skill

    March 12, 2015 / No Comments

    Explaining the I-AM-MAD communication skill by Bon Dobbs. A skill for interacting with emotionally sensitive people, like those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).   No related posts.

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  • Borderline Personality Disorder,  Emotions,  Validation

    Be mindful of transitions with BPD

    September 16, 2014 / No Comments

    Transitions, especially as they relate to identity, can wreck havoc in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The last few months have been very difficult in my household with my wife with BPD. Over the weekend, she engaged in self-injury for the first time in eight years. Why? Because my household is going through a very significant transition. My girls have applied to and gone to college, leaving only my wife, my last child (a middle schooler) and myself in the house. My wife identifies herself as primarily a mother. She is greatly attached to our girls and now that they have “left the nest,” my wife’s…

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  • Emotions,  Validation

    The Surprising Key Element in Happy Couples – Emotional Intelligence

    August 11, 2014 / No Comments

    Bon: I like to call this emotional agility… The Surprising Key Element in Happy Couples Have you ever wondered if you and the guy you just started dating will make it long term? Or are you about to get married, and wish you could really predict if it will last? Do you ever wonder if you and your wife’s relationship is as happy as it can be? What do you think accounts for those who seem madly in love, versus couples who don’t make it or seem miserable together? Most of us can think of all sorts of elements that might make a happy couple. But there’s one key factor…

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