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What holds us back before we start – From When Hope is Not Enough
The skills I offer in this book are counter-intuitive. They go against many of the things that we have been taught to believe about relationships. What holds us back before we start I often see on my support list “newbies” who are not teachable. They arrive at the list seemingly willing to listen to the experienced members, yet in reality they subconsciously feel they have it all figured out. The experience of the “old timers” is extraordinarily valuable. In fact, that experience is the greatest asset available on the list. It is why I decided to revise this book to reflect the teaching from the sharing of that experience. Many…
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Why I called the book “When Hope is Not Enough”
In 2007, I wrote the first edition of When Hope is Not Enough. When considering the title, I landed on this one because it rings true to a person who is a supporter and loved one of a person who meets the criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Back when I wrote the book, there were very few books on the subject (only about 2-3) and the most popular of the books – the one recommended by therapist across my country (US) and which had sold hundreds of thousands of copies – had been ineffective in my life. I just found that the skills offered in that book worked at…
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Attitudes toward effectiveness: Throw away the Scoreboard
In order to live a life and have a relationship without creating resentments and tallying up fears, you must throw away the scoreboard. What’s this about a scoreboard? The scoreboard is the “what she does for me” vs “what I have done for her” measure. It’s an accounting of transactions in the relationship. It’s not just about marriage (and sex); parents have a scoreboard for their kids as well. How their kids with BPD don’t appreciate the sacrifice they have made for them and blah, blah, blah. This scoreboard results in more resentment (she’s not meeting my needs) and more fear (I’m going to be the only one giving for…
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When Hope is Not Enough, Second Edition Print Edition Available at Amazon
When Hope is Not Enough, Second Edition Print Edition Available at Amazon! In the next few days, I’ll retire the first edition. No related posts.
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When Hope is Not Enough, Second Edition now available as PDF
When Hope is Not Enough, Second Edition is now available from the publisher’s website in a PDF format. You can purchase this format by clicking here. No related posts.
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Top Five Books For Partners of People with Borderline Personality Disorder (#BPD) – Kindle Edition
[amazonshowcase_7670e09387507c36dc254cc8a3f3df85] No related posts.