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Paranoia, Shame and Judgment Sensitivity
My wife has recently been really paranoid that the local moms don’t like her. She thinks that since they will sometimes not let their children come over to our house and play with my son that it means that they don’t trust her. OK, to be totally frank, my wife has been investigated by CPS twice. Once because of a DUI and once because she was over-medicated and went over to a judgmental woman’s house to pick up our children. The woman thought my wife was acting weird and reported her to CPS. I think that many BP’s get paranoid about their self-image with other people. The combo of fear…
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Heather Mills and Paul McCartney’s Judgement Released
The judge in the Paul McCartney/Heather Mills divorce case has released the judgment to the public. It can be found here: Judge’s Decision. I have included this post here, because Heather Mills almost made my top five potential celebrity BPs. Here are some juicy details from the judgement. The judge was not too kind to Ms. Mills: But I regret to have to say I cannot say the same about the wife’s evidence. Having watched and listened to her give evidence, having studied the documents, and having given in her favour every allowance for the enormous strain she must have been under (and in conducting her own case) I am…
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Are you pissed off at someone with BPD?
UPDATE 10/2008: This post is quite old… but it still applies. However, if you want to know HOW to do some of the things I mention here, I have recently published the I-AM-MAD communication skill, which distills one of the main skills that I present in my book, When Hope is Not Enough. Hi all. I have been monitoring the “non” email lists and have found a common idea that I believe is a misconception about borderlines. A taste of this idea can be seen in this paraphrased comment: “When will my BP be willing to take responsibility for his/her actions? When will he/she try and fix the harm he/she has…
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A Daughter with BPD who Lies
A Daughter with BPD who Lies This was my response on WTO to a woman who was very angry with her daughter for lying to her and for having friends over to her (the mother’s) house all night when the mother specifically prohibited it. The mother felt very manipulated and angry – she felt the daughter was disobeying her to hurt her. FYI, the daughter is 23 and was diagnosed with BPD when she was about 16. Hi. Yes, I thought that your daughter was in a situation like that – around 21-25, diagnosed with BPD and once in a residential facility. The reason I asked those specific questions is…
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Blaming the parents
One of the big problems I have seen in meeting people with BPD children is that often the mental health professionals believe that the ONLY cause of BPD is childhood abuse. While 75% of adult female borderlines report childhood abuse (and many sexual abuse), what if those are the only ones that seek treatment? And what of the other 25%? In other words, parents of borderlines – who are confused, angry and scared about the welfare of their children – are often the ones blamed for the disorder by mental health professionals. A good corollary is the reactions of health care workers when someone appears at the hospital with a…
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The Borderline Child
I’d like to talk about “The Borderline Child”. Most professionals would say that the Borderline Child does not exist. I recently spoke with a woman I know who has a daughter who has given her a great deal of trouble. The girl, who is only 14, cuts herself, drinks her own urine, has risky sex, does drugs, has run away from home and exhibited a number of other “borderline” behaviors. When I mentioned the diagnosis to the mother, she spoke with professionals who told her that her child was “too young” to be diagnosed with BPD. OK, so what is the cut-off? This is a quote from an article I…