I have been thinking about the concept of emotional “well being” quite a bit today. I think that the goal of people’s emotional lives is to create a sense of well being. The sense of well being can be reversed to “being well” and I believe that if one feels that his/her well being is intact, that he/she can live a more peaceful existence. One of the features of BPD is the lack of well being (emotionally) and this is magnified with the sense of being “dead inside” or deeply and emotionally not well. I believe that there are 3 components to emotional well being:
1) The sense that you are of worth and that you have a connection to the deeper value in your life (i.e. Stephen Stosny’s “core value” concept). This is thwarted in some sense by the shame component of BPD. One can recondition and reconnect with one’s sense of worth (core value) through something like HEALS.
2) The sense that your emotions are natural and accepted by yourself and others. This is where validation and normalization can really play a big role. If you feel that your feeling are accepted and normal in a given circumstance, you don’t feel unwell emotionally. This has little to do with behavior. It’s all about the emotions (stupid).
3) The sense that you make sense to other people. If a person feels another “gets” them, then there is a connection with at least one other person in the world. This is vital IMO. People need to feel that they make sense to other people and that their “truth” has a place in the world.