Connect with Bon

A free eBook – 4X4 for Nons

Here is a free eBook from Bon: Free eBook

Holiday Skills for Dealing with Difficult Relatives and Friends

Hello, all. Below are two posts from the past that deal with Holiday dynamics. As the Holiday season goes on and Christmas and New Year’s approach, perhaps it’s time to review these and see what you can do to be more effective during the Holiday season?



Just in time for the holidays

Family Dynamics Around the Holiday Table


Can Tylenol Really Relieve Hurt Feelings?

Among participants who had high levels of self-reported BPD features, those in the acetaminophen group showed more trust in their partners than those who had taken a placebo.

Can Tylenol Really Relieve ‘Hurt Feelings?’

Researchers say the ingredient acetaminophen can lessen extreme emotional responses, allowing people to get over rejection and other social feelings.

Is it possible that Tylenol can help alleviate not just physical pain, but social pain as well?

A growing body of research suggests that acetaminophen, the active ingredient in Tylenol, may help dampen emotional responses.

In a study published earlier this fall, researchers from The Ohio State University found evidence that acetaminophen may reduce behavioral distrust in people with high levels of borderline personality disorder (BPD) features.

The investigators recruited 284 undergraduate students, each of whom they assessed for BPD features using a self-reported scale.

Following a double-blind procedure, the researchers randomly assigned each participant to receive either 1,000 milligrams of acetaminophen or a placebo.

Afterward, they asked participants to take part in an economic trust game.

Among participants who had high levels of self-reported BPD features, those in the acetaminophen group showed more trust in their partners than those who had taken a placebo.

Among participants with low levels of BPD features, there were no differences in trust observed between those who had taken acetaminophen and those who had taken a placebo.

“In line with past research, we found that people who self-reported higher levels of characteristics associated with BPD entrusted less money to anonymous partners,” Ian Roberts, PhD, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto and a lead study author, told Healthline.

“However,” he continued, “our study also found that, for those higher on BPD features, this distrust was reduced when they had been given acetaminophen as compared to a placebo.”


Disorder, Borderline Personality, She Tells the Story of His Harsh Reality

Hypersensitive, it could lead to an escalation.

Disorder, Borderline Personality, She Tells the Story of His Harsh Reality

Mental health disorders are still unknown to many, and often misunderstood.

A young mother of Arvida, who lives with a borderline personality disorder, demonstrated great courage in breaking the silence.

Marie-Loup Gilbert-Tremblay has received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder there is approximately 6 years old. His life is a roller coaster of emotions.

“It is either black or white. Everything is white or black.”

During her pregnancy last year, she stopped her medication. She then understood that there was more still: a borderline personality disorder.

The risk of losing his job

A temperament that is unpredictable, difficult for the personal and professional life also.

“I almost lost my job because of it during my pregnancy.”

Fortunately, there is medication which helps a lot. But also, resources.


Disorder, borderline personality, she tells the story of his harsh reality

Emotional Agility as a Tool to Help Teens Manage Their Feelings

Emotions are not good or bad — they just are.Emotions are not good or bad — they just are.

Emotional Agility as a Tool to Help Teens Manage Their Feelings

By Deborah Farmer Kris FEBRUARY 28, 2017

Navigating the ups and downs of the teenage years has never been easy, as young adults manage a lot of changes that are hormonal, physical, social and emotional. Teens could use help during this period; according to a recent study, the prevalence of depression in adolescents has increased in the last decade. One way teens can manage these experiences, according to psychologist Susan David, is by equipping teens with the emotional skills to “help them develop the flexibility and resilience they need to flourish, even during hard times.”

“Emotions are absolutely fundamental to our long-term success – our grit, our ability to self-regulate, to negotiate conflict and to solve problems. They influence our relationships and our ability to be effective in our jobs,” said David, author of the book  “Emotional Agility” and an instructor at Harvard Medical School. “Children who grow up into adults who are not able to navigate emotions effectively will be at a major disadvantage.”

In her book, David defines emotional agility as “being aware and accepting of all your emotions, even learning from the most difficult ones,” and being able to “live in the moment with a clear reading of present circumstances, respond appropriately, and then act in alignment with your deepest values.” She says emotions are data, not directions. Understanding that distinction can equip teenagers to make healthy decisions that are in alignment with their values.
David said that she would explain the concept to a teenager this way: “Emotional agility is the ability to not be scared of emotions, but rather to be able to learn from them and use emotions for all the things you want to do and be in the world.” In order to respond with agility to challenging or novel situations, teenagers need to strengthen their emotional literacy. David recommends helping them understand these key concepts about emotions.


Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and the Buddhist Philosophy

DBT deals with intense and labile emotions. There is a connection between mindfulness and emotion regulation. Mindfulness facilitates adaptive emotion regulation.

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and the Buddhist Philosophy

Posted on March 20th, 2017
Ruwan M Jayatunge M.D.

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a modified form of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that was developed in late 1970s by Marsha M. Linehan a psychology researcher at the University of Washington (Linehan, 1993). DBT is an empirically supported treatment for suicidal individuals (Linehan et al., 2015). It can be adapted to treat borderline personality disorder patients with comorbid substance-abuse disorder (Koerner & Linehan, 2000) and depressed elderly clients with personality disorders (Lynch et al., 2003). DBT addresses deficits in emotion regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal relationship.

The patients with borderline personality disorder have faulty schemas and splitting in the patient’s relations to others. They have frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Often they have pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, impulsivity, emotional instability and recurrent suicidal behavior. In addition they are impacted by chronic feelings of emptiness. Borderline personality disorder is treated with psychotherapy and medication. Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Buddhist Psychotherapy are effective in treating borderline personality disorder.

The basis for DBT is stemming from the mindfulness practice of the Buddhist teachings and the philosophy of dialectics. Mindfulness according to the Buddhism is bare attention a sort of non-judgmental, non-discursive attending to the moment-to-moment flow of consciousness (Sharf, 2015). Mindfulness meditation has three overarching purposes: knowing the mind; training the mind; and freeing the mind (Fronsdal, 2006). As described by Palmer (2002) developing the capacity for being mindful and living in the moment allows a greater potential for feeling appropriately in charge of the self.

DBT combines mindful awareness largely derived from Buddhist meditative practice. Kirmayer (2015) concluded that Mindfulness meditation and other techniques drawn from Buddhism have increasingly been integrated into forms of psycho-therapeutic intervention. Since the 1990s, mindfulness meditation has been applied to multiple mental and physical health conditions, and has received much attention in psychological research (Tang & Posner, 2013). Mindfulness has been described as a practice of learning to focus attention on moment-by moment experience with an attitude of curiosity, openness, and acceptance (Marchand, 2012) Schmidt (2004) states that mindfulness is strongly related to compassion, and it is compassion that serves as a source for all healing intentionality. Both mindfulness and self-compassion involve promoting an attitude of curiosity and non-judgment towards one’s experiences (Raab, 2014). The core mindfulness skills (focus, compassion, curiosity, inner calm, balance, and awareness) lead to serenity.


How to Get Better at Expressing Emotions

Extroverts tend to be better at talking about their feelings, but practice and attention can help those without a natural gift for it.

How to Get Better at Expressing Emotions

The term “emotional intelligence” has now reigned for 20 years. Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book of the same name popularized the idea that the capacity to understand and wield emotional information is a crucial skill.

Part of that is expressing emotions, be it through writing, body language, or talking with other people, and researchers are finding that unlatching the cage and letting those emotional birds fly free could have some real health benefits. Some studies have linked the repression of negative emotions to increased stress, and research suggests that writing about feelings is associated with better health outcomes for breast-cancer patients, people with asthma, and people who’ve experienced a traumatic event. And in a study of people who lived to be 100 years old, emotional expression was found to be a common trait, along with a positive attitude towards life, among the long-lived.

So expressing emotions, on the whole, seems to be good for you. But if you’re someone who is used to holding them in, that could be easier said than done. And the solution is not necessarily to just pop the top off that champagne bottle of emotions and watch them spray all over the place. You might not even know what’s in there!
Emotional intelligence is a skill, and some people are better at recognizing and communicating emotions than others. Among the Big Five personality traits—openness, extroversion, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and neuroticism—several studies have found that people high in extroversion tend to have higher emotional expressiveness, while people high in neuroticism tend to be less expressive.

Like other skills, the ability to communicate feelings can be strengthened through practice, and a big part of it is first recognizing the emotions you’re having, as well as what’s causing them.