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A new book: The power of validation
I read the Kindle version of the Power of Validation. It was very good. It is focused on parenting emotionally sensitive children. I recommend it to parents of emotionally sensitive children. No related posts.
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Levels of Emotional Validation
Here is a nice article on the levels of emotional validation. I’ve written on this subject before, but this article/blog post offers a nice, fresh perspective. Understanding the Levels of Validation By KARYN HALL, PHD Marsha Linehan, Ph.D., from the treatment creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, identified six levels of validation and noted that she believes it is impossible to overestimate the importance of validation. If you care about someone who is emotionally sensitive, validation is one of the most important and effective skills you can learn. If you are an emotionally sensitive person, then learning to validate yourself will help you manage your emotions effectively. Linehan suggests using the…
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A comment on change vs acceptance
An ATSTP list member responds to a question of whether another’s borderline wife will ever change because of emotional validation: I found validation isn’t as effective until the underlying agenda tilts more towards acceptance rather than change. This may sound strange, but after we accept that the situation may not change (and behave accordingly), it then grows room to change. No related posts.
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Ask Bon: Why do you emphasize emotional validation so much?
Emotional Validation and why it is vital for an effective relationship with a borderline. Q: Why do you emphasize emotional validation so much? A: Emotional Validation is a very powerful skill, or set of skills, for any relationship with an emotionally sensitive person (ESP), including those with BPD traits. There are a number of reasons that emotional validation is important for a family member of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Emotional Dysregulation is a core feature of BPD. Another core feature is shame. If you invalidate a BP’s feelings, you are likely to fuel more shame, because they actually feel those emotions, whether or not they seem right or appropriate to…
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Ask Bon: How do I balance validating somebody’s feelings with protecting myself or my children from emotional abuse?
Q: How do I balance validating somebody’s feelings with protecting myself or my children from emotional abuse? A: This is an excellent question and one that I have grappled with for years. My wife’s behavior before I started down the path to effectiveness was off-the-charts and was affecting my children’s feelings of safety in our household. Numerous times I felt the only solution to protecting my children was to leave my wife and apply for full custody of our children. When my wife was “acting out” and/or in a rage around the children, I would take the kids to the library or to events around town. I worried that they…
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A Review of WHINE by someone with BPD
The other day I received a review on Amazon about my book When Hope is Not Enough from an individual who identified himself as a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Here’s the text of the review: Got BPD? Get This! Great for Everyone Who Needs Validation!, June 16, 2011 I have BPD and I love this book! I no longer walk around feeling like BPD is stamped on my forehead and everything I say or do is a result of my lousy emotional filtering. I can constructively offer suggestions to myself (or others) on how I would rather be treated or spoken to. I can laugh with myself and my…
