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Biology, Blame, Borderline Personality Disorder, Emotions, Odds and Ends, Resources, Stats, Validation
Follow the Yellow Click Road
Apparently, someone over at Welcome to Oz (WTO) Internet list posted a message asking about me and what I am all about concerning BPD and Non-BPs. This lead to a huge spike in traffic with my average number of accesses basically doubling over the weekend. I’m still a member of WTO, so I decided to login and take a look at what people are saying about me over there. I haven’t posted in years and haven’t logged in in months. Obviously, there are many, many new people who have no idea who I am or what I’m about. There are a few members still hanging around who do remember me.…
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Why did I bother to write a book?
Interestingly, I have sold more downloaded books than print copies thus far. I have sold about twice as many of the downloaded version (at $7.50) than the print copy ($19.95). This is not something that I expected to happen. I have been asked time and time again why I bothered to write a book. There are other books out there, including the best-selling Non-BP book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” (or SWOE). I read SWOE about 2 ½ years ago and found it lacking. The big problem with it for me was that the prescription for “taking back your life” wasn’t working in my life. The application of boundaries, for example,…
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Why Hope is Not Enough
A comment on the title of my book, When Hope is Not Enough. I’ve had several people say the book is perfectly titled and others say they don’t like the title. I decided to title it that because I believe that you need more than love to help someone with BPD and to help yourself. The problem with love is that saying “I love you” to someone with BPD can be invalidating. Saying “I’m proud of you” can be even more invalidating. And saying “You can do it” even more so. Let me explain. Validation is about the other person’s emotions (the BP). It is not about you and your…
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CBT + Zen = DBT (a quick guide)
Some time ago on when I was on the Welcome to Oz (WTO) Internet group, I started posting about the benefits of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) for treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I have since left that group and started my own (the ATSTP Google Group). However, at WTO the discussion turned to DBT and its effectiveness (or lack thereof). There is one member of WTO who came down against all behavioral therapies. He posted the following message as a follow up to a message about DBT: DBT is a behavioral therapy. The idea is to learn a new behavior by repeated conditioning. “Fake it until you make it”…
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Emotional Glasses for Liars and Tantrums
After reviewing Mrs. Treasure’s article on BPD and Demonic Possession, I decided to read at least some of her other posts at AssociatedContent.com. I wanted to find out if she had posted more on Borderline Personality Disorder and why she decided to post on the disorder in the first place. I think she must believe that her new husband’s ex-wife has the disorder, because she wrote another article called “10 Ways to Handle a Difficult Ex? Focus on Borderline Personality Disorder” which refers to the person with BPD as “she” throughout. I’m not going to agree or disagree with the content of that article. I also found an article called…
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Self-destructive friends — what to do? (from CNN)
Self-destructive friends — what to do? (from CNN) By Elizabeth Bougerol (LifeWire) — When Theresa heard her friend was getting married, her heart sank. “I told her I thought it was a mistake,” says Theresa. “So she kicked me out of her wedding party. We didn’t speak for six months.” And the happy couple? “Within a year, her husband left her for another man,” said Theresa, who asked that her full name not be used. For Theresa, a medical receptionist in the Adirondacks, this was one more incident that followed a familiar pattern: Her friend picks the wrong man, and Theresa is left to pick up the pieces. The final…