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Ask Bon: Why do you emphasize emotional validation so much?
Emotional Validation and why it is vital for an effective relationship with a borderline. Q: Why do you emphasize emotional validation so much? A: Emotional Validation is a very powerful skill, or set of skills, for any relationship with an emotionally sensitive person (ESP), including those with BPD traits. There are a number of reasons that emotional validation is important for a family member of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. Emotional Dysregulation is a core feature of BPD. Another core feature is shame. If you invalidate a BP’s feelings, you are likely to fuel more shame, because they actually feel those emotions, whether or not they seem right or appropriate to…
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Five common mistakes made by supporters of people with Borderline Personality Disorder
Based on the book When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. During the past four years, I have been blogging about, providing advice to and consulting with hundreds of loved ones of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). When loved ones come tome for support and advice, I usually find them confused, angry and at their wits end. People with BPD can be extraordinarily difficult to deal with and typically engage in emotion-fueled behavior such as raging, blaming and risk-taking. This behavior frustrates their partners and parents to no end. I have found five approaches in which the loved…
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BPD Myth Busting: 7 common myths about Borderline Personality Disorder
Bon debunks 7 common myths about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Myth 1: BPD is untreatable Borderline Personality Disorder is treatable and in the past 15 years numerous evidence-based treatments have been designed to treat the disorder. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Mentalization-based therapy and Transference-focused therapy have all been shown to improve the behavior, cognitive abilities and functioning of people with BPD. Myth 2: BPD only affects women A recent study by the NIAAA showed that the lifetime incidence of BPD was essentially equal in men and women. It has been widely accepted for many years that the gender breakdown of BPD is 75% female. It seems that the only reason…
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Borderline Emotional Anaphylactic Reaction: Mindfulness and Acceptance
A mere critical stinging comment can just as easily send a person suffering Borderline Personality Disorder into “emotional anaphylactic shock.” … from an insightful blog post by Sonia Neale. Here is the text of the post: Borderline Emotional Anaphylactic Reaction: Mindfulness and Acceptance By SONIA NEALE Sometimes, the smallest things in life can cause the greatest pain and physical reaction. A bee’s sting is almost invisible to the naked eye and yet can easily kill someone when they have an allergic reaction. A mere critical stinging comment can just as easily send a person suffering Borderline Personality Disorder into “emotional anaphylactic shock.” When a person has a life-threatening reaction to…
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DBT Self-Help App for the iPhone under works
Swedish DBT researchers and clinicians prepare to release a DBT app for the iPhone. Yesterday, I received a message from Andres Nordlund. It read: My name is Andreas and I follow your web and twitter messages. I’ve noticed and applaud your efforts to help BPD and self-harm in particular.I would like to make you aware of my newest project which is a DBT Self-help app for Iphone. Developed by myself in collaboration with some of Swedens top DBT-therapist we hope that this App really will contribute to therapy effects, especially with skill acquisition and generalization into everyday life and crisis situations. Please read more att www.dbt-app.com and help spread the…
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Ask Bon: How do I get my borderline loved one in therapy? What’s the best kind of therapy? How long will it take to cure them?
Q: How do I get my borderline loved one in therapy? What’s the best kind of therapy? How long will it take to cure them? A: Unless your borderline loved one is a minor or you have a court order, you can’t force anyone into therapy. Therapy must be a choice of the person that needs it. It will probably be much more effective if the person with BPD chooses to go to therapy. Yet, therapy is not like sending your car in for repairs. It’s not as if you send the person in to therapy, he/she gets a new part and comes out fixed. That’s not the way therapy…