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Marriage Problems and Authentic Self
Today I was reading the Psychology Today blog of Dr. Steven Stosny, called the “Anger in the Age of Entitlement” blog. Here is a nice article that married people (BP, Non-BP and others) should read: Marriage Problems: How Can I be Me When You’re being You? By Steven Stosny on August 18, 2008 – 3:09pm in Anger in the Age of Entitlement Most people get married because they like the way they are with their partners – loving, compassionate, engaging, supportive, sexy, and flexible. They get divorced because they don’t like the way they are with their partners – resentful, turned off, frustrated, rigid, or bored, all of which they…
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When Toxicity and Misinformation Know No Bounds
Boy, it’s amazing how much bad information travels around the Internet at the speed of light. People are so misinformed about BPD it’s scary. Yesterday, I stumbled across the “Yahoo Answers” site for a question in which a woman asked if she could “help her partner with Borderline Personality Disorder?” There were 10 “answers” to this question. Here are some excerpts from each, which the misinformation pointed out: “So, you sacrificed your children to a crazy person?? What is wrong with you?? Is there a clinical term for “glutton for punishment”?” Dissolve this toxic relationship immediately! Judgmental. Non-BPs don’t need another person telling them to leave their partner; there are…
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NY Times Article that Mentions BPD
NY Times article mentioning BPD. I’d love to comment, but will have to do so later…. October 21, 2008 Mind When All Else Fails, Blaming the Patient Often Comes Next By RICHARD A. FRIEDMAN, M.D Doctors and psychotherapists generally don’t like it when their patients don’t get better. But the fact is that lots of patients elude our clinical skill and therapeutic cleverness. That’s often when the trouble starts. I met one such patient not long ago, a man in his early 30s, who had suffered from depression since his teenage years. In six years of psychotherapy, he had been given nearly every antidepressant under the sun, but his mood…
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Blame, Borderline Personality Disorder, Celebrities, Emotions, Pain, Shame, Substance Abuse, Suicide
Kurt Cobain and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
After learning about BPD and reading a biography of Kurt Cobain, I suspect that, if he was not a borderline, he suffered from a similar disorder. So, here is a detailed analysis of the case for Kurt Cobain having Borderline Personality Disorder. [amazonshowcase_aae6001f3f5766bb5a55f3fb147c3088] Substance Abuse I don’t think I have to cite any references on this one. The bio I read makes it clear that Cobain was a junkie and used consistently. Also, despite his slim frame (5’7″, 130 pounds), he used far more heroin than others in his final days and his body was, for the most part, able to take it. He did overdose numerous times. Abuse of…
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Couple’s Counseling and BPD
Many times I’ve seen Non-BPs mention that couples counseling doesn’t really work for them. One member of an Internet support list I used to be a member of posted a message about his BP “snowing” the couple’s therapist. In fact, just about every message (of hundreds) was about this subject. Clearly, Non-BPs are upset about the dynamics of couple’s counseling and feel that they get “dumped on” by the BP. The Nons end of feeling blamed for everything. When this subject came up in the ATSTP group recently, I turned to a knowledgeable member about this subject. She posted the following message (which I’ve edited slightly because I wanted to…
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A Critical Analysis of the “3-C’s” of Being a Non-BP
Often I see in the support groups on the Internet (especially the “Welcome to Oz” or WTO groups), people providing the “3 C’s” of understanding your role as a Non-BP. I’ve seen it quoted on BPD support websites too. These “3 C’s” go as follows: I didn’t cause it I can’t control it I can’t cure it While these statements are generally true, I’d like to take some time to analyze these statements and add a fourth “C.” I’d also like to tell you what you CAN do – rather than what you didn’t or can’t do. These statements help take the onus off the Non-BP for any responsibility for…