I don’t usually get personal on this blog. Today, I have decided to get a bit personal. My “emotional” daughter has been texting me – worried about her mother’s (my wife’s) behavior. We have been going back and forth, trying to figure out what we could do to be effective in this situation. Eventually, I had to apply my boundary with my wife. I had to tell her “I will not talk to you when you’re in this state”. It was tough, yet it was the elephant in the room. The thing is… and this is what you nonBPDs need to learn about boundaries (and about which I have written volumes) is that when you apply your boundaries, you have to expect rage, denial and attacks from the borderline. I have been attacked via text messages all day after I did that. I just ignored the attacks, stayed on point and went like a train on the track toward the actual issue. I got a LOT of “what about you?” attacks (see When Hope is Not Enough to know that THAT means). Ultimately though, as a nonBPD, you have to be brave and mention the elephant in the room. It’s hard, it causes ripples with the whole family, yet it’s important. I just want you all to realize that applying boundaries will (most likely) cause rage, attacks and counter-blame.