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Why did I bother to write a book?
Interestingly, I have sold more downloaded books than print copies thus far. I have sold about twice as many of the downloaded version (at $7.50) than the print copy ($19.95). This is not something that I expected to happen. I have been asked time and time again why I bothered to write a book. There are other books out there, including the best-selling Non-BP book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” (or SWOE). I read SWOE about 2 ½ years ago and found it lacking. The big problem with it for me was that the prescription for “taking back your life” wasn’t working in my life. The application of boundaries, for example,…
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Self-destructive friends — what to do? (from CNN)
Self-destructive friends — what to do? (from CNN) By Elizabeth Bougerol (LifeWire) — When Theresa heard her friend was getting married, her heart sank. “I told her I thought it was a mistake,” says Theresa. “So she kicked me out of her wedding party. We didn’t speak for six months.” And the happy couple? “Within a year, her husband left her for another man,” said Theresa, who asked that her full name not be used. For Theresa, a medical receptionist in the Adirondacks, this was one more incident that followed a familiar pattern: Her friend picks the wrong man, and Theresa is left to pick up the pieces. The final…
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Tough Love is NOT the Answer with BPD
I often peruse the web for articles and posts about dealing with people with Borderline Personality Disorder and what I usually find is incorrect and misguided. I recently stumbled upon a post that can be found here: http://www.helium.com/tm/339437/individuals-suffering-borderline-personality In which the author gives some insight and advice about “dealing with” someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. I’d like to look at her advice by excerpting some of her text and then offer a little commentary. First of all, she says this: Individuals suffering from borderline personality disorder are very self-destructive and they have great difficulty forming any good relationships. A deep-seeded fear of abandonment is behind every wayward action and prolonged…
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Boundaries from the ATSTP Group
Here’s a snippet from one of my posters in ATSTP. It does a good job of explaining boundaries: Forgive me, but I feel the need to restate what Bon wrote to you about boundaries. They are not about your partner’s actions. They are about yours. In essence, boundaries are what you do with YOURSELF — AFTER the line’s been crossed. And eventually, they become what you do to put yourself in a position so the line CAN’T be crossed. They really have nothing to do with the “perpetrator”. If that’s confusing, think of it this way: 1. The law says: Don’t go over 55 mph. (That’s a rule, not a boundary.)…
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Boundaries and BPD
I think there is a lot of confusion about boundaries, which they are and how they apply to BPD. I plan on featuring some discussion and information about boundaries here. Here is a snippet from the Anything to Stop the Pain email list about boundaries: I don’t think most boundaries are consciously set. I feel most of them are designed into us as a survival mechanism. Many of these function at an emotional rather than rational level of the mind.” – an ATSTP member on boundaries Emotions are built-in mechanisms to detect and avoid threats. They are part of the “animal brain” (the limbic system) and operate at a lower…
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A Note about BPD and Boundaries And SWOE
In my Google Group, I recently responded to a member about boundaries and the term “non”. In this message the word SWOE refers to the book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and WTO refers to the “Welcome to Oz” Yahoo mailing group (which is the largest Non group on the Internet). As you can see by my message I am not over enthusiastic about either: — snip The WTO site is all about the “non” and setting “boundaries” does this come from SWOE??? The non label does come from SWOE as far as I’ve been able to tell. It is in common usage now throuhgout the Internet and the BPD community…