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Saving yourself from Cognitive Distortions
Some time ago I posted a list of Cognitive Distortions. I never posted the “antidotes” to these until now. Here they are: 1. Identify The Distortion: Write down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you’re involved in. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way. 2. Examine The Evidence: Instead of assuming that your negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully. 3. The Double-Standard Method: Instead of putting yourself down in…
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The myth of Hoovering
NOTE: I responded to a comment about this article. If you’re gonna read this one – also read this one. I get so sick of the “support community” for Non-BP’s on the Internet. The terms that invent and proliferate – it’s enough to drive someone crazy. Misinformation, misinformation, misinformation. I understand that Nons are upset, angry and confused about BPD. Heck, I was upset, angry and confused too – about three ten years ago. I think it’s best to learn as much as you can about the disorder and to practice skills to make things easier, both for the BP and the Non-BP. Today, I’d like to take on the idea…
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Why did I bother to write a book?
Interestingly, I have sold more downloaded books than print copies thus far. I have sold about twice as many of the downloaded version (at $7.50) than the print copy ($19.95). This is not something that I expected to happen. I have been asked time and time again why I bothered to write a book. There are other books out there, including the best-selling Non-BP book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” (or SWOE). I read SWOE about 2 ½ years ago and found it lacking. The big problem with it for me was that the prescription for “taking back your life” wasn’t working in my life. The application of boundaries, for example,…
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Why Hope is Not Enough
A comment on the title of my book, When Hope is Not Enough. I’ve had several people say the book is perfectly titled and others say they don’t like the title. I decided to title it that because I believe that you need more than love to help someone with BPD and to help yourself. The problem with love is that saying “I love you” to someone with BPD can be invalidating. Saying “I’m proud of you” can be even more invalidating. And saying “You can do it” even more so. Let me explain. Validation is about the other person’s emotions (the BP). It is not about you and your…
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CBT + Zen = DBT (a quick guide)
Some time ago on when I was on the Welcome to Oz (WTO) Internet group, I started posting about the benefits of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) for treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I have since left that group and started my own (the ATSTP Google Group). However, at WTO the discussion turned to DBT and its effectiveness (or lack thereof). There is one member of WTO who came down against all behavioral therapies. He posted the following message as a follow up to a message about DBT: DBT is a behavioral therapy. The idea is to learn a new behavior by repeated conditioning. “Fake it until you make it”…
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Emotional Glasses for Liars and Tantrums
After reviewing Mrs. Treasure’s article on BPD and Demonic Possession, I decided to read at least some of her other posts at AssociatedContent.com. I wanted to find out if she had posted more on Borderline Personality Disorder and why she decided to post on the disorder in the first place. I think she must believe that her new husband’s ex-wife has the disorder, because she wrote another article called “10 Ways to Handle a Difficult Ex? Focus on Borderline Personality Disorder” which refers to the person with BPD as “she” throughout. I’m not going to agree or disagree with the content of that article. I also found an article called…