Celebrities with Borderline Personality Disorder (possibly, not for sure)
Here are my top-five candidates for celebrities with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Remember I am not a doctor and this is a “arm chair” analysis of the documented behaviors of each of these celebrities. Others considered for the list were: Kurt Cobain, Princess Di, Heather Mills, Christina Ricci, Elizabeth Wurtzel, Winona Ryder, Mindy McCready and OJ Simpson. But here are my top five BPD celebrities (from least to most likely to have the disorder) and some links to illustrative articles on the web… drum roll please….
5. Britney Spears (more on Britney try this link)
4. Angelina Jolie (if you want a more detailed analysis of Angeline Jolie go here)
3. Courtney Love (to see all of the posts on Courtney Love go here)
2. Pete Doherty (Here is some more info on Pete Doherty go here)
1. Lindsey Lohan (Here is some more info on Lindsay Lohan go here)
Removed from the list because she’s now dead. Rest in peace Amy:
Amy Winehouse (for more on Amy Winehouse try this)
- Self-Injury.
- Substance Abuse.
- Volatile relationships.
- Sexual Confusion.
- Eating Disorder.
- Implusive Behavior.
- Shame.
- Suicidal.
Think someone in your life that has Borderline Personality Disorder? Buy the book that has helped hundreds of people like yourself. When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder really is a how-to, step-by-step for loved ones of people with BPD to communicate more effectively.
[amazonshowcase_aae6001f3f5766bb5a55f3fb147c3088]
111 Comments
Pingback:
Pingback:
Pingback:
John Knights
I agree, to a certain extent that these celebrities have personalitiy traites that are exhibited. However there is a place personality disordered people in life, and I believe these traits in western life. There is little recognition of personality disorder in the Eastern community……how is this?
John Knights
When a person has one personality disorder, it can generally be crossed to three…
BPD is usually alone, but when you get a male BPD then usually see PDN and NPD and is difficult to recognise. They usually come the notice of society via A&E and the Police service. Look at the city, you’ll find them there, and with the current credit crunch, I bet that there will be quiet a few disordered reactions.
Laura
I don’t think any of these celebrities have borderline. They do have some traits but it is very hard to diagnose. To me they just seem typical celebrities put under the strain of fame. it cant be easy to handle
Laura
Bon Dobbs
Laura,
There are two reasons that I post information on possible BPD in certain celebs. One is that there is no good spokesperson for BPD in the media. I wish there was. I wish, if someone actually HAS BPD, that he or she would come out and say it to help remove the stigma from the disorder. The other reason is selfish of me. I get far more traffic to my blog on BPD celebrities than any thing else. That’s unfortunate, but true. I am always hoping that, if a reader gets to the celebrity thing, they might stick around and read some of the other more substantive posts – or even buy my book, which has already helped hundreds of loved ones of people with BPD.
Thanks for the comment.
Bon
Sally S.
BPD is somewhat predictive of behavior.
So my question is – Why is Angelina chatting up how she and her current partner met and fell in love, contradicting earlier statements about how she would never be involved with a married man etc, etc- her remarks seem to reveal that she and her partner have been lying and designed to humiliate her partners ex wife.
This behavior seems to indicate that she has an active mean streak.
Any thoughts?
SS
Bon Dobbs
It can be predictive of behavior. That’s why many behavioral-based therapies can work effectively – like DBT and SFT. She probably has a “mean streak” that is rooted in black-and-white thinking. If someone is against her, they are her enemy and she will say/do things to humiliate them. People with BPD can “burn bridges” too. I’ve seen my wife send emails to life-long friends that destroy the relationship – mean, nasty, personal messages. This usually happens when she thinks that someone is judging her or touching on her shame. Later, she might regret it… but it’s done at that point – which can lead to more shame. As for Angelina, I’m not sure she has BPD, but she definitely shows the signs. That being said, she seems to have found in her children and in her “causes” something to distract her from self-destructive behavior. Her behavior has definitely improved, so maybe (even with the vestiges that you mention) she is a success story (if you don’t believe everything you read in line at the supermarket).
Thanks for the comment. I hadn’t really thought about that in that way.
Bon
Traci
Being a personal sufferer of Borderline Personality Disorder, I can make a personal opinion that I see Britney Spears & Angelina Jolie having the exact same traits as myself.
Sally, BPD is a very complex mental illness. Many sufferers tend to mold themselves to whom ever is surrounding them, have a diffucult time understanding their own needs since they feel as if they don’t have a personal identity. Maybe she said she wouldn’t be involved with a married man, but the fear of abandoment can be so overwhelming you sometimes do things you wouldn’t dream of to lessent the feeling of lonliness and abandonment.
And Laura, just becasue they are celerities and have stressful jobs does not make them immune to BPD. There are 2-3% of the population suffering with it, and the illness does not discriminate, whether you are famous or a regular Joe.
josh
Not too sure if any of these celebrities have borderline personality disorder, plus where is russell crowe and nikki reed? This list should include both these people and neither angelina jolie or lindsey lohan have bpd. Amy Whinehouse could possibly but most likely she suffers from bipolar disorder, also where is mike tyson, iron mike should be here more likely than any of these other names listed. Russell crowe shows intensive thoughts and rapid thoughts as well as lack of emotion and alcohol abuse as well as extreme agitation leading to agression, so if you compare russell to angelina jolie whats the diffference they are both creative however angelina shows no lack of emotion or agitation.
Lauren
Hi there,
I am not really sure where to start…I found this page in search of answers for myself and started reading the messages. I have been diagnosed in the past with ADD but never really consulted anyone officially for my depression but was given antidepressants by my docs for years. Started on Prozac then most recently Zoloft. My latest attempt o to “get pure” and get off my meds has been the longest attempt yet and I am feeling AWFUL. I have felt “different” and experienced mutiple symptoms of “something” (still seeking what it is!) and been in and out of depression since I was 13 and now am 28. I thought that maybe I was Bipolar but I cycle between happy to sad and nice to mean WAY TOO QUICKLY to be that. I am on a quest to put a name to this extremeness I have so I can, with therapy for issues, get to the bottom of this and get my life together. Can anyone help or share symptoms they have or do I sound like one of you?
Bon Dobbs
Lauren,
I am not a Dr. or a clinician so I can’t comment on your diagnosis. You may have some form of bipolar or something else. I just can’t comment. As for BPD, it really should be called ERD (emotional regulation disorder) or ERID (emotional regulation and impulsivity disorder). Are you impulsive? Do you self-injure? Do you have shame issues? In my book, I discuss the 3 “core” things I have seen in people with BPD – emotional dsyregulation, impulsiveness and shame. If you have these things, it very well could be BPD. The problem with the diagnosis is the stigma associated with it. That just adds to shame. Go to a qualified and knowledgeable mental health professional and be honest about your symptoms and behavior – as hard as it can be. You might suggest some diagnosis that your have done research on and tell him/her you feel that way all of the time. DON’T believe anyone who says it is untreatable or unmanageable. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!
Bon
Brittney Nicole McDonald
I like didnt know like Angelina Jolie like had borderline….OMG!! She is like my idol….well kinda….except for like the bad stuff she like does….but like she is my idol because she like is on good like movies and likeshe saves the little children from poverty….poor little black babies…..i would help like make them look all pretty and stuff so it would help their self esteem….i wouldnt adopt them though….because i only want blonde babies….if i had a kid and they like didnt like have blonde hair, i would like freak….and like leave with the blonde kids i have…..and leave that other hair colored kid with the father…..because like i think that blondes are like the best…..but still like i really like didnt know she had that….its like so frickin crazy it is like to like funny to like function….i mean like what would you like do if like you had that…..that is like so not good….i wouldnt trust anyone with like a disorder with my kids or even like myself….like what like ever…..lol…i think that all blonde haired blue eyed people are the best!!! GO LIKE BLONDE AND BLUE EYED CHICKS AND DUDES!!!
Bon Dobbs
Like, are you, like, joking with me much?
Flash Gordon
New lingo?
Is this written in English language?
“I like didnt know like Angelina Jolie like had borderline….OMG!! She is like my idol….well kinda….except for like the bad stuff she like does….but like she is my idol because she like is on good like movies and likeshe saves the little children from poverty….poor little black babies…..i would help like make them look all pretty and stuff so it would help their self esteem….i wouldnt adopt them though….because i only want blonde babies….if i had a kid and they like didnt like have blonde hair, i would like freak….and like leave with the blonde kids i have…..and leave that other hair colored kid with the father…..because like i think that blondes are like the best…..but still like i really like didnt know she had that….its like so frickin crazy it is like to like funny to like function….i mean like what would you like do if like you had that…..that is like so not good….i wouldnt trust anyone with like a disorder with my kids or even like myself….like what like ever…..lol…i think that all blonde haired blue eyed people are the best!!! GO LIKE BLONDE AND BLUE EYED CHICKS AND DUDES!!!
#
on 09 Mar 2009 at 10:15 am15Bon Dobbs
Like, are you, like, joking with me much?”
Jan
A fantastic resource that explain BPD in laymans terms that are easy to understand is One Way Ticket To Kansas by Ozzie Tinman. This book is one of the best out there and also delves into why as partners, people get involved int he tangled and unstable releationship with someone with BPD.
Jan
Bon Dobbs
Jan,
I have read that book and, while it does have some good points about the nature of the relationship, I felt it should have been called “One Way Ticket to Kansas FOR ONE” because his prescription is ultimately “I left the crazy b*tch.” Have you read my book?
Bon
Bon Dobbs
Fed up,
“A 2008 study of nearly 35,000 adults in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that 5.9%–which would translate into 18 million Americans–had been given a BPD diagnosis. As recently as 2000, the American Psychiatric Association believed that only 2% had BPD. (In contrast, clinicians diagnose bipolar disorder and schizophrenia in about 1% of the population.) BPD has long been regarded as an illness disproportionately affecting women, but the latest research shows no difference in prevalence rates for men and women.”
” Prevalence, correlates, disability, and comorbidity of DSM-IV borderline personality disorder: results from the Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions.
Grant BF, Chou SP, Goldstein RB, Huang B, Stinson FS, Saha TD, Smith SM, Dawson DA, Pulay AJ, Pickering RP, Ruan WJ.
Laboratory of Epidemiology and Biometry, Division of Intramural Clinical and Biological Research, National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, National Institutes of Health, Bethesda, MD 20892-9304, USA. bgrant@willco.niaaa.nih.gov
OBJECTIVES: To present nationally representative findings on prevalence, sociodemographic correlates, disability, and comorbidity of borderline personality disorder (BPD) among men and women. METHOD: Face-to-face interviews were conducted with 34,653 adults participating in the 2004-2005 Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Personality disorder diagnoses were made using the Wave 2 Alcohol Use Disorder and Associated Disabilities Interview Schedule-DSM-IV Version. RESULTS: Prevalence of lifetime BPD was 5.9% (99% CI = 5.4 to 6.4). There were no differences in the rates of BPD among men (5.6%, 99% CI = 5.0 to 6.2) and women (6.2%, 99% CI = 5.6 to 6.9). BPD was more prevalent among Native American men, younger and separated/divorced/widowed adults, and those with lower incomes and education and was less prevalent among Hispanic men and women and Asian women. BPD was associated with substantial mental and physical disability, especially among women. High co-occurrence rates of mood and anxiety disorders with BPD were similar. With additional comorbidity controlled for, associations with bipolar disorder and schizotypal and narcissistic personality disorders remained strong and significant (odds ratios > or = 4.3). Associations of BPD with other specific disorders were no longer significant or were considerably weakened. CONCLUSIONS: BPD is much more prevalent in the general population than previously recognized, is equally prevalent among men and women, and is associated with considerable mental and physical disability, especially among women. Unique and common factors may differentially contribute to disorder-specific comorbidity with BPD, and some of these associations appear to be sex-specific. There is a need for future epidemiologic, clinical, and genetically informed studies to identify unique and common factors that underlie disorder-specific comorbidity with BPD. Important sex differences observed in rates of BPD and associations with BPD can inform more focused, hypothesis-driven investigations of these factors.”
Bon Dobbs
I’ve done my homework. I do it all the time. As you can see in a 2008 study, researchers found BPD diagnosable traits in 5.9% of the population.
And no, I don’t have BPD. My wife and one of my daughters have BPD/ERD issues. I just don’t like it when some sanctimonious person (with a handle like “fed up”) comes here and perpetuates the very myths that I have tried to battle for almost four years now.
Bon Dobbs
Oh course I will post it. I’m glad you have overcome your disorder – that’s fantastic. What I have done is met with hundreds of people – parents, friends, partners and children – of people with BPD. There is a lot of pain all around in that group (as well as in the group of people with the disorder). I will freely admit that I do use celebrities to drive traffic to my site. It is a marketing tool, yes. I find it repellent in some ways that 60% of the searches that find my blog are regarding celebrities. My intention by doing this is to help people learn how to communicate with someone with BPD. I have implemented these skills in my life and they are helpful in emotional situations.
The “survey” to which you refer was done by researchers, not me. These are mental health researchers with a grant from the NIH.
You haven’t read much of my blog other than the celebrities page, I suspect. I never said that people with cluster B traits are not dangerous or (sometimes) sociopaths.
I am interested why you are so angry with my work, writing and thinking about BPD. It just seems weird. It would seem that a person that had experienced all you have experienced might be less judgmental about other people with a mental disorder.
Bon Dobbs
Actually, repellent is probably not the right word – banal is better. I find the banality of people searching on the Internet to be astounding.
Bon Dobbs
Well, you can say what you want – especially when you are angry, which you seem to be. I haven’t said F* this and such, as you have to me. My wife and daughter went through treatment with one of the foremost experts in BPD and were diagnosed with the disorder by him. You know very little about me or about my family. I personally find it a bit disturbing that you would make statements about my family when you just told ME to take responsibility.
As for your abuse, that’s horrible. My wife was sexually abused as a child – my daughter was not. But my daughter was and continues to be invalidated by her teachers and others – not so much by me and my wife anymore, since we have learned the facility of emotional validation.
If you understand BPD as well as you do, that’s great and I will defer to your expertise. At the same time, I also have a deep knowledge of BPD, go weekly to psychoeducational session and literally just got off the phone with a knowledgeable person about BPD.
I am fighting stigma. My book (the “lark” as you have called it) has helped hundreds of people create a more peaceful and compassionate environment with their loved ones with BPD.
not so fed up
see, I come around, I see that your not all bad now, but for just a “while” i was thinking that you were the “enemy” and trying to hurt me and others…I was having my lunch up at the mental health clinic, and I was thinking about this and was getting quite upset but now that you have said what you have, especially about your wife, it changes “everything”…and ironically, I feel more of a brethren with you.
I have come along ways, i couldn’t snap out of this before, you have done some really ‘great” things…You don’t know how much, I want your wife, your child and “you” to feel good, I am so sorry that, you and your family are being subjected to this adversity…I am very, very proud of your wife.
It takes strong character for her, to get help and it takes strong character for you to be so helpful and do what you have done, not only for her, but for so many
I totally respect you now..
How is that for a shift???…lolol….
Bon Dobbs
Yes, lol. I certainly don’t want anyone as an enemy – and I do welcome dissent and disagreement. Over at WTO (Welcome to Oz) they accused me of running a “cult” because I was saying people with BPD are afflicted and suffering… even as we all suffer from their behaviors. When I go to my weekly psycho-education course (which I assist in teaching), I see a LOT of suffering, especially among the parents of children with BPD. They are racked with guilt and even the therapists blame them for their child’s disorder. I think this is counter-productive to working on a more peaceful and effective future.
I am glad that you have overcome your disorder in so many ways, and I know it must have been really hard work to do so. Many people just give up, feel broken , steep in shame and/or kill themselves. I think that is so sad to see people suffer in silence.
Good luck to you and I have respect for you and what you have been able to overcome/accomplish in your life.
I’m glad we’re “good” now.
Bon Dobbs
One more thing I forgot to mention. I am proud of my wife too… yet, what is more important for her sense of mastery over her own life is that she is proud of herself. She’s in a pretty effective and positive place right now – and that makes me feel good for her. My daughter actually graduated from her emotional skills/DBT therapy last month. She has mastered the skills they taught her and there’s nothing more for her to learn. She just has to apply the skills in her life. It appears that you have done something similar in your life and that warms my heart. I like when people feel confident and effective in their own lives, especially when they have had to overcome so much adversity.
Good luck! Feel free to check in with me, if you want. And yes, the celebrity thing is just a device to draw traffic. What I found was that when I posted a message about Britney Spears, my traffic doubled. I wish some celebrity would come out and say “I have BPD” – like Ben Stiller and others have about bipolar. It would help and normalize the disorder.
Bon
not so fed up
I forgot to say that my friend who i originally dated, she does have BPD and we love each other, we broke up and I ‘insisted” that we stay friends and that was
7 years ago now..
and she is fairly severe and low functioning but, she said to me not long ago
you have taught me how to trust someone and that really touched me in a way that I can’t explain, with mere words and I saw that all of the abuse, I went threw with her, was “worth it” I learned so, so much from her, she is like family to me and I don’t mean to put any stigma on anyone, i didn’t mean to sound like that if i did and give people with BPD a chance that is what, i really mean…
I have had ‘two” long term friends with BPD…
not so fed up
me again, i didn’t see your whole website and i am feeling bad now!…I thought this was it, just the silly Hollywood thing and that is what tripped me…I understand this web page now as well, quite clever if i do say myself I hope you sell “millions” of copies, I am quite broke but, i will consider even getting a copy myself…If you can delete my other postings, it would be appreciated, I am serious get rid of my rants…I googled O J Simpson and BPD and got this web page!…lololol….Holy geeezus was I out in left field…yikes sorry, i am with you…and thank you!!!…God, I say the stigma is the most “brutal” symptom that we have to battle and the rest is easy…I am serious, that is my motto…
Bon Dobbs
No problem. I deleted your angry comments and some of my responses. “Bon chance!” – haha. I’d love to sell millions too – lol. I have sold hundreds and have gotten some very positive responses. It’s nice to help someone now and then.
Stay in touch!
Not fed up at all
To anyone, who hasn’t read Bon Dobb’s book, I HIGHLY recommend this book, i have just read the first 50 pages and it is one of the best reads on BPD/mental illness that, I have ever read. For the first time, the person with BPD is looked upon as someone with a major form of mental illness not, a personality disorder. The people I know, with BPD have very similar symptoms, to me and I have Bipolar disorder. His book goes beyond the diagnosis and gets one to see that, BPD is just that, a “diagnosis” not an identity…I would recommend this book to “anyone” all mental illness is relative, therefore, anyone could benefit from this very informative book. I like the introduction stating that the book will help you deal with people who, demonstrate Borderline traits but, don’t necessarily meet the full criteria of BPD…I also strongly encourage everyone, to visit this site in its entirety and not to just view the Hollywood, aspect of it…
On the lighter side. I think all of Hollywood is utterly “insane”
I mean how about Tom Cruise???…Geeeezus that guy!..what a CREEP!…lol..
Bon Dobbs
Thanks for the plug! And BTW, Tom Cruise is creepy.
breakthehabit
Eminem should be on this list.
A borderline ;-)
Any of the famous people listed on this page may very well have the borderline personality disorder.
However, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th. Edition, better known as the DSM-IV, the manual published by the American Psychiatric Association, lists nine criteria, and five of those nine must be present for someone to be diagnosed with the BPD. In addition, there are three more characteristics that are very distinct for the BPD and differentiate it from all other psychological diagnoses.
The people on the list above exhibit symptoms that may be indicative of a whole range of psichiatric/psychological problems; we would not know, because to account for all the five symptoms and specifically for the ones that clearly distinguish BPD from other disorders, one would actually need to hear from those people first hand if they have these kinds of feelings and sufferings; those symptoms are not define from behavior, they are defined from how the person feels inside.
Among those distinguishing BPD from other disorders are a sharp, almost unbearable fear of real or imagined abandonment, extereme emotional sensitivity (One researcher (Marsha Linehan) said, “People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.”). There is a whole range of other symptoms that can only be revealed if a person themselves admits that they have them.
While it is soothing to think that I am not the only cookoo out there, the people listed above as suspects of BPD may actually be ill with something completely different 😉
A borderline ;-)
Bon,
I did not realize this was your site until I thoroughly read through the postings.
I actually bought your book today from Amazon, before I even knew you had a site (I stumbled across your site looking for more info on BPD on Internet, until my books from Amazon arrive I am looking for more info on the web ;-)).
I am trying to say that posting about celebrity borderlines is not necessarity to generate traffic to your site, because if someone is really interested in the issue, they are likely to do the reserach, go to Amazon and see you book, and your book has pretty good reviews. There about 20 – 25 books on Amazon on the topic; I bought four, and your is one of them 🙂 And if someone is not intersted, it’s unlikely they are ever going to type “borderline” in the text field of google…
It is certainly very pleasant to realize that there are many people affected by the disorder, including those people we sometimes look at with admiration. But Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana are probably more solid examples to stick to, IMHO 🙂
P.S. I hope your book will be helpful! 🙂
Bon Dobbs
Thanks for the advice and for buying my book. I do get a lot of traffic from the celebrity discussion. I am always hopeful that I can help at least one person through that avenue – actually I have helped one that I know of. Perhaps it is best to not post the celeb stuff, but if it helps one person – cool. I posted some stuff on Megan Fox based on her own words. I don’t do much of the celebrity posting. Most of what I do is more support-oriented (at least I hope so).
Anyway, thanks for stopping by and for the comment. I think you’ll enjoy the book. I wonder how it will compare to the 3 others you bought?
paul
Tyson for sure. I have borderline traits now(would have been BPD at a younger age) and Tyson is for me classic. I recognise so much of myself in him and him in me it is bizarre. Others have thought i was bipolar too but only becasue that is better known.
mark
bon bon,
should i reallly buy your book?
anyways, I’m curious what it is about BPD that usually makes us such under achievers. I mean the lists of historical figures and celebrated geniuses with bipolar is about 20 ft long. Is it the confusion with long term goals? I have, I guess like everyone else, the desire to be extraordinary. But I sabatoge myself at every corner. I get great oppertunities and then mess them up. Is this common?
thanks
markus
Pingback:
Calen Curtis
New topic of discussion…. What of disorders among historical celebs? Hasn’t Shakesphere sexuality been questioned? Or what of Edgar Alan Poe’s writing, very dark and delusional maybe? Hell, look at Van Gogh…. Creativity, Genius these descriptives are often related to the crazy celebs no matter the generation… I honestly think that the media plays a major part in our view of these “BPD Celebs” if the media would have been as persistent, as aggressive as they are now to the historical figures we may not have had the art and literature we have today… If Miltons Paradise Lost would have been written in 2009 it wouldn’t have been considered the last great epic, hell it may not have even NYT best seller list because our global society as a whole is to lazy and ignorant to read something like that…. Anyway i’m a 23 year old kid from mississippi who doesnt know a damn thing about anything but growing pine tree farms, lazt right?
olenea77
Some people said Tyson should be on the list, but I think Tyson is more of Narcisstic dissorder
Pingback:
Marilyn
I have a cousin with borderline. Unless you spend a great deal of time with a person you cannot diagnose borderline; just because a person gets angry often, cuts herself, has an eating disorder, etc. does not make him or her borderline. It was nine months before I learned my cousin has the disorder. She holds full-time employment beautifully and is loved by many. But her disappearing for days and hours at a time are what make people call her “eccentric.” What they (and I) didn’t realize is that she has to get away because being around her for longer periods of time opens her up to others learning of the awful disorder that plagues her. Borderline is like no other illness; the rest (bipolar, etc) are CAKE WALKS compared to borderline. If someone you love has it, you KNOW IT! And you’ve probably been at least verbally attacked by that person and then immediately idolized. It’s a NASTY disorder that leaves trails of victims!
Jan Smisek
I am a clinical psychologist in Czech Republic working with adictions. I have googled “Amy Winehouse” and “borderline” because I wanted to know if any body else thinks the same thing I do. Yes, I gues, she is borderline.
I like her voice and wish her grow.
getwitdaprogram
I have suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder for three decades now. While some of the symptoms are “mellowing” due to age, (I am 46), I still feel all of the symptoms to some degree; I have just lost a lot of the “Drama Queen” aspect. Burnt out from it all, I am!! The identity confusion, emotional dysregulation, chronic loneliness, fear of abandonment, and severe emotional sensitivity are still present. I have been in therapy for 23 years, (many therapists, some HARMFUL), and here I am still struggling to feel like a PERSON. Very, very sad to have to deal with that throughout my life. I often wonder, other than with death, will this ever be over? Can I ever have hope and peace? This illness has always, always felt like a long, lingering death or dying process. A totally soul murdering disorder. (Which has it’s origins in one’s soul having been destroyed in the first place at a VERY early age.)
Just a quick note: I have read extensively on BPD. Britney does not have it; she is Bi-Polar. Lyndsay has it, no doubt. Marilyn, ditto. Barbara Hutton is a classic example of the disorder. Really, I could go on and on with the list of famous people that I know have this disorder. I read about them, hear their words, see their actions and I see myself at various times in my life. Bingo!
Pingback:
shiloh
All this is interesting in regards to who is BPD and who isn’t, but in regards to children, I personally do not feel it is fair to label a child with ANY personality disorder. Developmentally still forming and their environment variables all are critical and in transition.
Also as someone who was rather severely sexually abused, I had PTSD which can ‘cover’ or mimic other disorders. I think one must be extremely cautious in online diagnosis. It doesn’t serve the person at home sitting with out of control feelings and despair. It just paints an incomplete, sweeping picture which may or may not be true.
Sexual abuse does not equate BPD, although they can be co-existing issues. But probably it goes w/out saying that someone sexually abused will most always have some amount of PTSD. So I would say anyone who has been sexually abused rather than doing an armchair diagnosis should first see a professional in that field before jumping to conclusions.
This being said, this seems to be a great sight and helpful as well. Thanks from one who has a BPD mother and sociopathic father.
FWIW: I think Mike Tyson and OJ. in addition to steroid abuse, may well be sociopaths first and foremost. Now that is my sweeping, incomplete armchair diagnosis. LOL
Wilma
I just started searching on BPD because my 19 year old son was just diagnsed yesterday. I feel so guilty because he told me a few years ago that he thought he may have ADHD. I did take him to a psychologist a couple of times, but he did not want to go back. I am prone to panic attacks, and know that feeling all too well. I now grieve for my son after reading some of the articles and the symptoms which go along with this disorder. I feel helpless to help him, and ashamed that I have focused on my anxiety and depression while he was suffering from worse, and I thought it was normal adolescent hormonal behavior. I now know why he could not hold a job for longer than three weeks, and has now dropped out of school, which I thought he enjoyed. He spends so much time alone on the computer, and every girl he wants to meet, is on the internet. I could never understand why he did not date someone he could actually see and take out to dinner and a movie. I feel so ashamed that I could not see my only child suffering. Someone please help me to understand how to cope and help him to forgive me. It broke my heart when he told me yesterday “See Mom, I told you something was wrong.” Any comments or thoughts will be appreciated.
Bon Dobbs
Wilma,
It is completely natural to focus on your own anxiety, fear, sadness and depression when you’re dealing with someone who is suffering, especially if that someone is one for whom you care deeply. I think your son probably has some social anxiety and shame himself – the feeling of feeling broken inside. I have often seen this described as feeling “dead inside”. At this point you can do what you can do from this point forward. You can also try to repair the painful reactions that you, at the time didn’t understand were so painful to him. You can (honestly) tell him “I was unaware of how my words and actions might have hurt you…” and let him know that you can strive to make things more accepting and less painful for all. Grieving for what might have been is helpful, yet once it is done, it is time to move forward. I suggest you read my book (your situation is basically why I wrote it) and/or get some training in DBT-FST or another set of skills that can help you move forward with your son. Being ashamed of doing what comes naturally gets you nowhere except into learned helplessness. I am here to absolve you of past transgressions and to encourage you to face/do the heavy lifting required to encourage your son’s recovery. You can do hard things!
Bon
Pingback:
Anthony
I have been diagnosed with Borderline Emotionally unstable personality disorder.. I’ve learnt to see it as a gift and a curse, When im in a bad frame of my mind my whole world comes crashing in, A pain in my heart that feels like it’s been crushed, I can honestly say that unless you have it you really can’t understand how hard it can be, If life is bad then every day is a war ground in your mind. Dreaming about death all day and cutting yourself off from reality, I can turn all body senses off and drift into a state where it feels like I dont have a body and I am just a process of thoughts, I use my mind to entertain myself and go on adventures to escape reality. Thankfully I have learnt to control myself a bit more now, I have created safety nets in my mind that automatically kick in when I’m going down them deep dark lanes.
There are alot of bad sides to having this disorder but as I have learnt there is always good where there is bad, In relationships I have never cheated, I don’t lie to my partners, I treat them with so much love and respect, Because in truth Love is my cure, When I am with someone that truly loves and cares for me my problems all subside. The other positives is my creative imagination, I’ve learnt to control it and use it in a positive way, I write lyrics and they are the only thing that keeps me going, They are priceless to me. Every bad experience in life now is turned into content for my writing, So when I hit the wall I just think I will make it through this at some point and everything will be alright, I focus on the things that I want to do in the future of my life and what I know will make me happy. It’s not all bad, When I joined the British Infantry (Probably weren’t the best idea) My commanding officers told me I have a very high intelligence, As did the doctors.. They told me that in ten years time I would be a made man. Every job I have done in my life, Even if it was for only a few months, I have done amazing in. I seem to be able to put so much dedication into anything I want to do or become.
Here is a poem I wrote that I read often to remind myself that I can make it through the hard times.
I’m here to set your mind free
Release you through the bars
Eyes captured by the stars
Make peace with your own mind
Lose those imperfections
Think positive in the right directions
Sink those conflicting desires
Before your life expires
Don’t become your own worst enemy
Don’t pretend who you are
Learn from me
Listen to others and their trust will follow
You can swallow, Walk away eat your pride
Imagine the situation if you lied
And then that special person died
Love and generosity is my policy
Learn from me
Greed only breeds pain
In the end you feel the same
You bleed and scream, Cry their name
Give into the love you search
And you will find the love inside
Stay on that line become dignified
Anyone can become evil
It’s how you cope with situations
Being stubborn and decietful
Where’s your Integrity
Show some Willingness
You can take your time, Use your mind
Slowly Lose them habits
Let your mind follow
I’m here to set your mind free
Release you through the bars
Eyes captured by the stars
Make peace with your own mind
Lose those imperfections
Think positive in the right directions
Sink those conflicting desires
Before your life expires
Don’t become your own worst enemy
Don’t pretend who you are
Learn from me