The Surprising Key Element in Happy Couples – Emotional Intelligence
Bon: I like to call this emotional agility… The Surprising Key Element in Happy Couples Have you ever wondered if you and the guy you just started dating will make it long term? Or are you about to get married, and wish you could really predict if it will last? Do you ever wonder if you and your wife’s relationship is as happy as it can be? What do you think accounts for those who seem madly in love, versus couples who don’t make it or seem miserable together? Most of us can think of all sorts of elements that might make a happy couple. But there’s one key factor…
Contempt and Marriage to someone with BPD
Contempt leads to divorce, because contempt is the opposite of respect. Contempt for a person with BPD’s behavior is, in essence, contempt for their emotions, because, until sorted out and separated, a person with BPD’s behaviors are equivalent to their emotions. They do as they feel. If emotions can been identified, validated, respected and normalized, a behavioral change is certain to follow. No related posts.
20 ways you can emotionally invalidate someone
Emotional invalidation is particularly a problem when you’re dealing with an emotionally sensitive person, like someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I have a long list of emotionally invalidating phrases from which this list is derived. Emotional validation is the opposite of invalidation. You can learn how to use emotional validation to connect with a person with BPD by reading my book When Hope is Not Enough. 1. Ordering the person to feel differently Cheer up. Don’t cry. Don’t worry. Don’t be sad. Stop whining. 2. Ordering the person to “look” differently Don’t look so sad. Don’t look so smug. Don’t look so down. Don’t look like that. Don’t make…
Family Skills Training for Adolescents with Emotional Regulation Issues (BPD)
A video on family participation in skills training for adolescents with emotional regulation issues (BPD): No related posts.
Long Presentation on DBT from Shari Manning
Shari Manning, the author of Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, presents family DBT skills. It’s long (2 hours+) but worth watching: No related posts.
Levels of validation
Karyn Hall at the Emotionally Sensitive Person blog has another great post on the levels of emotional validation… Self-Validation: What Do You Do? By KARYN HALL, PHD Validation is like relationship glue. Validating someone brings you closer. Validating yourself is like glue for fragmented parts of your identity. Validating yourself will help you accept and better understand yourself, which leads to a stronger identity and better skills at managing intense emotions. Being out of control of your emotions is a painful experience and damaging to relationships. Knowing how to self-validate is important to learning to manage your emotions effectively. Self-validation means you can accept your internal experience as understandable and…
