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I stumbled on this sad story of a woman with BPD…
Failure of system spirals into family tragedy
George and Alice Schellenberg took it as good news when their daughter Laura, just out of high school, coming off a nervous breakdown, was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
Borderline. How bad could that be?
Over the next 17 years, the Saanich couple found out.
It was hell. Laura began doing things totally out of character — she shoplifted, got angry, shaved her head twice, began cutting herself, then tattooed the lacerations on her arms.
On and on. She worked as a hairdresser and had a doting partner, but the internal demons were always there to pull her down. Obsessive compulsive disorder and severe depression piled on. She wouldn’t open her mail. Wouldn’t pay bills. Wouldn’t answer the phone. She could be anxious, unresponsive, violent. Doctors just increased her medication.
Her parents desperately tried to get her help, but there was always a barrier, a box that couldn’t be ticked, to prevent her from getting into a program or facility. “There was always something that didn’t fit,” George says. Most of the time, the system would spit her back out, so it fell to her parents to pick up the pieces on their own.
Desperate for advice from the professionals, they got none. Indeed, privacy laws prevented mental-health workers from bringing George and Alice into the loop. “Nobody ever told us how we could help,” he says.
Laura’s disease would sometimes lead her to sabotage her own life when things were going too well. One day in February 2008, thinking it might get her admitted to a hospital where a “new doctor” would help her with her obsessive thoughts, she started a small fire in her living room. Instead, she got done for arson and was locked away. “That was the beginning of the spiral with the corrections system,” George says.
In November 2008, her obsessive compulsive disorder sent her to her now ex-partner’s home in Duncan, a breach of her probation. Charged with assault, she was incarcerated in the Surrey Pretrial Services Centre, even though everyone — cops, lawyers, health professionals — agreed that kind of confinement was the worst thing for her. Laura got depressed, wouldn’t eat or wash and ended up in solitary for much of the four months she spent awaiting trial. Her parents’ pleas that she needed to be in a psychiatric hospital with ongoing treatment fell on deaf ears. Laura lost 100 pounds.
On April 7, she went to court, where the court-appointed psychiatrist suggested federal time — two years plus — so that she could get better mental-health treatment not available at the provincial system. The judge agreed.
Laura’s lawyer and parents were aghast at the idea of her being locked up for that long. Fine, said the judge, your option is to take her yourself: 18 months of home arrest, with Laura not even allowed out for a walk around the block.
Stuck in their home, she sank further into depression. On Easter weekend, after she asked for a gun with which to kill herself, Laura’s parents took her to the Archie Courtnall Centre. Continue reading Sad story of a young woman with BPD →
Here’s a NY Times Article about a man charged with assisted (or encouraging) suicide. He allegedly did so over the Internet. It is one to watch to see if free speech on the Internet will be regulated. I NEVER advocate suicide (obviously). I wonder however how this case (or if) will impact the back-and-forth dialog in chat rooms and online groups, such as ATSTP.
May 13, 2010
Online Talk, Suicides and a Thorny Court Case
The seemingly empathetic nurse struck up conversations over the Internet with people who were pondering suicide. She told them what methods worked best. She told some that it was all right to let go, that they would be better in heaven, and entered into suicide pacts with others.
But the police say the nurse, who sometimes called herself Cami and described herself as a young woman, was actually William F. Melchert-Dinkel, a 47-year-old husband and father from Faribault, Minn., who now stands charged with two counts of aiding suicide.
Mr. Melchert-Dinkel, whose lawyer declined an interview request on his behalf, told investigators that his interest in “death and suicide could be considered an obsession,” court documents say, and that he sought the “thrill of the chase.” While the charges stem from two deaths — one in Britain in 2005 and one in Canada in 2008 — Mr. Melchert-Dinkel, who was indeed a licensed practical nurse, told investigators that he had most likely encouraged dozens of people to kill themselves, court documents said. He said he could not be sure how many had succeeded.
The case, chilling and ghoulish, raises thorny issues in the Internet age, both legal and otherwise. For instance, many states have laws barring assisting suicide, but rarely have cases involved people not in the same room (much less the same country) or the sharing of only words (not guns or pills).
The case also brings up questions about the limits of speech on the Internet: How does one assign levels of culpability to someone who shares thoughts with people who say they are already considering suicide? And for some who counsel against suicide, it points to a growing area for worry, an online world where the most isolated and vulnerable might be touched in a way that they would not have in the past.
Groups that work to prevent suicide compare suicide chat rooms to “pro-ana” sites, Internet sites that portray anorexia as a lifestyle as opposed to a disease. Anti-suicide advocates say that there has been more than one instance recently where a person killed himself on a Webcam as others watched. Papyrus, a charity in Britain that works to stop young people from killing themselves, says it has tracked 39 cases in that country alone where young people committed suicide after visits to “pro-suicide” chat rooms.
It was the untrained, unpaid Internet sleuthing by Celia Blay, a 65-year-old from a tiny community in Britain, that helped lead to charges in April against Mr. Melchert-Dinkel. “He was practically invisible,” she said. “I tried to talk to any police I could, and most of them would have nothing to do with it. The first one I talked to told me, ‘If it bothers you, look the other way.’ And that really bothered me, because by then I was pretty sure people had died.”
About four years ago, Ms. Blay, who describes herself as a “computer illiterate,” became friends online with a young, depressed woman who had entered into a suicide pact. Ms. Blay persuaded her not to proceed, but the incident sent Ms. Blay searching for the other member of the pact. It was someone who called herself Li Dao, another screen name that the police later said Mr. Melchert-Dinkel used.
Making inquiries on a Web site aimed at people talking about suicide, Ms. Blay said she found at least half a dozen people who had similar pacts with Li Dao, a name that popped up on all sorts of suicide Web sites. She and a friend uncovered Mr. Melchert-Dinkel’s name and e-mail address after setting up a sting in which her friend posed as someone preparing for suicide and was, she said, approached by Mr. Melchert-Dinkel.
By then, the police in Minnesota say, Mr. Melchert-Dinkel had already aided the suicide of Mark Drybrough, 32, of Coventry, England. A coroner’s report found that Mr. Drybrough, who was suffering from a psychiatric illness, hanged himself from a ladder in his home in July 2005. His computer showed that he had posted a question in a suicide chat room about how to hang oneself without access to something high to tie a rope to, and that Li Dao — Mr. Melchert-Dinkel, the police say — had offered details on how to use a door.
In March 2008, Nadia Kajouji, 18, disappeared from her college in Ottawa. The Canadian authorities investigating her disappearance searched her laptop and discovered that she had been talking online with a person who used the screen name Cami. In e-mail messages, the authorities say, the pair agreed to a pact in which Ms. Kajouji would jump from a bridge into a river (to avoid, at Cami’s suggestion, the police say, creating a mess) and Cami would hang herself a day later. In April 2008, Ms. Kajouji’s body was found in the Rideau River.
Around the same time, Ms. Blay contacted the St. Paul Police Department through an acquaintance in Minnesota. By then, she said, she had grown frustrated with what she described as the authorities’ unwillingness to study the huge file she had amassed with the stories of 20 to 30 people who had been approached online. Over time, she said, she had tried to tell the story to a police department near her home, a member of parliament and even law enforcement in the United States.
Since at least the 1970s, many states have barred assisted suicide, though criminal charges are rarely filed. Physician-assisted suicide is allowed under certain conditions in Oregon and Washington.
In Minnesota, 12 charges of aiding suicide have been brought since 1994, when the state began keeping track, and about half of those have resulted in convictions. That state’s law, a felony, applies to “whoever intentionally advises, encourages or assists” another in taking his or her own life; convictions carry sentences of up to 15 years in prison.
Barbara Coombs Lee, the president of Compassion and Choices, who has advocated for laws like the one in Oregon, said she found it “perfectly appropriate” that Mr. Melchert-Dinkel faces such charges. “This is so egregious, so clearly wrong, that I’ll be very disappointed if assisted-suicide statutes do not reach this,” she said. “There is a bright line between aid in dying and assisting in suicide like this.”
Still, legal experts suggested that there may be room for challenges. The Minnesota law itself, some suggested, could be seen as too ambiguous or too broad to include protected speech that falls short of actually leading someone to suicide. The deaths occurred in other jurisdictions, posing potential issues, other lawyers said.
Terry A. Watkins, a lawyer for Mr. Melchert-Dinkel, said it was premature to describe what defense he intends to present but made it clear that he had questions about the law itself, as well as the dissection of causes that lead to any suicide. “As a society, we need to be careful when we start putting together laws that prohibit things like ‘encouragement’ without a really clear definition of what in God’s name you’re talking about,” he said.
Mr. Melchert-Dinkel, who is scheduled to be arraigned on May 25 in Rice County District Court, has had his nursing license revoked. He had held it since 1991, despite a record that included repeated discipline for complaints of leaving a nursing home patient unattended, being too rough, sleeping on duty, failing to take vital signs and failing to track a patient’s medications.
But Mr. Watkins said his client was basically a good person. “This is not a monster,” he said.
Shortly after the police interviewed Mr. Melchert-Dinkel last year, he checked into a local emergency room, state records show, saying that he was dealing with an addiction to suicide Internet sites and feeling guilty over advice he had given to people to end their lives.
 Are you and your BP on the same team? I often hear people with BPD/ERD say that they feel that their loved ones are “not on my side” or that the loved ones are “supposed to be on my side.” This phrase stuck out at me when I read the story about the suicide of Megan Meier (the “MySpace suicide” case), because, although I have no insight into Megan’s mental health, clearly when she was insulted and rejected on MySpace, and she was emotionally dysregulated. She came to her mother, and after her mother admonished her for the use of foul language on MySpace, Megan cried and said, “You’re my mom. You’re supposed to be on my side!” ( This according to her mother’s reports).
When someone is highly emotional, they need to know that they have an advocate and that someone is on “their side.” I often ask my consulting clients (especially partners of people with emotional regulation issues) if they feel that their partner and they are “on the same team.” Many times the answer is no. Why does someone have a desire to have someone on their side, even when the “sides” are not desired, intended or even clearly delineated? The answer in my mind comes down to shame and rejection sensitivity.
If a person has shame (or even low self-worth, which is similar), then the person is likely to have a high level of rejection sensitivity. Being rejected by others is painful, especially for emotional people. Having an advocate of their “side” of the issue, which is essentially answering, “I am on your side no matter what the situation,” is tantamount in these highly emotional, social interactions that involve rejection. One can be “on their side” emotionally without condoning whatever behavior that one doesn’t agree with.
There are teaching moments and there are times that one doesn’t teach. If you try and teach, punish or impart values during a period of emotional dysregulation, the relationship will be damaged and nothing effective will be accomplished. Instead, emotional validation and support can be used to cool the bonfire. Once it is cool, then a teaching moment can present itself.
Study from FDA:
Chantix, Zyban must carry depression warning  FDA warns: Depression and Suicidal Thoughts caused by Chantix FDA to require smoking cessation drugs to warn of mental health risks The Associated Press updated 7:25 p.m. ET, Wed., July 1, 2009
NEW YORK – The Food and Drug Administration will require two smoking-cessation drugs, Chantix and Zyban, to carry the agency’s strongest safety warning over side effects including depression and suicidal thoughts.
The new requirement, called a “Black Box” warning, is based on reports of people experiencing unusual changes in behavior, becoming depressed, or having suicidal thoughts while taking the drugs.
The antidepressant Wellbutrin, which has the same active ingredient as GlaxoSmithKline PLC’s Zyban, already carries such a warning.
The FDA is also requiring an additional study on Chantix and Zyban to determine the extent of the side effects. Pfizer Inc., which makes Chantix, said it is still discussing the potential study design with the FDA. The study could include patients with and without psychiatric conditions to determine the true incidence rate of psychological side effects, Pfizer officials said.
Pfizer had already updated its labeling following the beginning of an FDA investigation into the potential side effects in 2007. That investigation was sparked by several reports of psychiatric problems in patients.
Despite the new, stricter warnings, the FDA said consumers and doctors still have to weigh the benefit versus the risks when taking the drug.
“The risk of serious adverse events while taking these products must be weighed against the significant health benefits of quitting smoking,” said Dr. Janet Woodcock, director of the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research. “Smoking is the leading cause of preventable disease, disability, and death in the United States and we know these products are effective aids in helping people quit.”
Last fall, the FDA also began looking into scores of patient reports about blackouts and injuries while taking Chantix. The Federal Aviation Administration later banned use of Chantix by pilots and air traffic controllers. The drug’s label also warns that patients may be too impaired to drive or operate heavy machinery.
Chantix was approved in 2006. Sales reached $846 million in 2008.
“The labeling update underscores the important role of health care providers in treating smokers attempting to quit and provides specific information about Chantix and instructions that physicians and patients should follow closely,” said Dr. Briggs W. Morrison, senior vice president of the primary care development group at Pfizer.
Pfizer said it made the revised label warnings in agreement with the FDA and is immediately making the information available to health care providers and patients.
 Rarely do you find an individual artist who expresses his/her emotions and pain as clearly as did Ian Curits. He was the lead singer and song writer for the band Joy Division. In May of 1980, two days before their first U.S. tour, Curtis hung himself in his kitchen. Joy Division reformed as New Order and had a major impact on dance/rock music. But Joy Division was an amazing band. Curtis’ lyrics read like a suicide note. He had epilepsy and the medication he was taking for it supposedly depressed him. The lyrics on their two albums (Unknown Pleasures and Closer) are fought with pain, shame and depression. Two years ago there was a bio-pic about Curits (“Control”) and a documentary about Joy Division. Again, rarely do you find someone who expresses his pain in such clear terms. Here is a sampling of Curtis’ lyrics:
Isolation
Mother I tried please belief me
I’m doing the best that I can
I’m ashamed of the things I’ve been put through
I’m ashamed of the person I am
Isolation, isolation, isolation
New Dawn Fades
Different colours, different shades
Over each mistakes were made
I took the blame
Directionless so plain to see
A loaded gun won’t set you free
So you say
Passover
Forgive and forget’s what they teach
Or pass through the desserts and wastelands once more
And watch as they drop by the beach
This is the crisis I knew had to come
Destroying the balance I’d kept
Turning around to the next set of lives
Wondering what will come next.
Atmosphere
Your confusion
My illusion
Worn like a mask of self-hate
Confronts and then dies
Don’t walk away
Some Joy Division Stuff:
 Here is a new article from Time magazine on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):
Thursday, Jan. 08, 2009
Minds on The Edge
By John Cloud/Seattle
Doctors used to have poetic names for diseases. A physician would speak of consumption because the illness seemed to eat you from within. Now we just use the name of the bacterium that causes the illness: tuberculosis. Psychology, though, remains a profession practiced partly as science and partly as linguistic art.
Because our knowledge of the mind’s afflictions remains so limited, psychologists–even when writing in academic publications–still deploy metaphors to understand difficult disorders. And possibly the most difficult of all to fathom–and thus one of the most creatively named–is the mysterious-sounding borderline personality disorder (BPD). University of Washington psychologist Marsha Linehan, one of the world’s leading experts on BPD, describes it this way: “Borderline individuals are the psychological equivalent of third-degree-burn patients. They simply have, so to speak, no emotional skin. Even the slightest touch or movement can create immense suffering.”
Borderlines are the patients psychologists fear most. As many as 75% hurt themselves, and approximately 10% commit suicide–an extraordinarily high suicide rate (by comparison, the suicide rate for mood disorders is about 6%). Borderline patients seem to have no internal governor; they are capable of deep love and profound rage almost simultaneously. They are powerfully connected to the people close to them and terrified by the possibility of losing them–yet attack those people so unexpectedly that they often ensure the very abandonment they fear. When they want to hold, they claw instead. Many therapists have no clue how to treat borderlines. And yet diagnosis of the condition appears to be on the rise.
A 2008 study of nearly 35,000 adults in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that 5.9%–which would translate into 18 million Americans–had been given a BPD diagnosis. As recently as 2000, the American Psychiatric Association believed that only 2% had BPD. (In contrast, clinicians diagnose bipolar disorder and schizophrenia in about 1% of the population.) BPD has long been regarded as an illness disproportionately affecting women, but the latest research shows no difference in prevalence rates for men and women. Regardless of gender, people in their 20s are at higher risk for BPD than those older or younger.
What defines borderline personality disorder–and makes it so explosive–is the sufferers’ inability to calibrate their feelings and behavior. When faced with an event that makes them depressed or angry, they often become inconsolable or enraged. Such problems may be exacerbated by impulsive behaviors: overeating or substance abuse; suicide attempts; intentional self-injury. (The methods of self-harm that borderlines choose can be gruesomely creative. One psychologist told me of a woman who used fingernail clippers to pull off slivers of her skin.”
No one knows exactly what causes BPD, but the familiar nature-nurture combination of genetic and environmental misfortune is the likely culprit. Linehan has found that some borderline individuals come from homes where they were abused, some from stifling families in which children were told to go to their room if they had to cry, and some from normal families that buckled under the stress of an economic or health-care crisis and failed to provide kids with adequate validation and emotional coaching. “The child does not learn how to understand, label, regulate or tolerate emotional responses, and instead learns to oscillate between emotional inhibition and extreme emotional lability,” Linehan and her colleagues write in a paper to be published in a leading journal, Psychological Bulletin.
Those with borderline disorder usually appear as criminals in the media. In the past decade, hundreds of stories in major newspapers have recounted violent crimes committed by those said to have the disorder. A typical example from last year was the lurid tale of an Ontario man labeled borderline who used a screwdriver to gouge out his wife’s right eye. (She lived; he got 14 years.”
There are several theories about why the number of borderline diagnoses may be rising. A parsimonious explanation is that because of advances in treating common mood problems like short-term depression, more health-care resources are available to identify difficult disorders like BPD. Another explanation is hopeful: BPD treatment has improved dramatically in the past few years. Until recently, a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder was seen as a “death sentence,” as Dr. Kenneth Silk of the University of Michigan wrote in the April 2008 issue of the American Journal of Psychiatry. Clinicians often avoided naming the illness and instead told patients they had a less stigmatizing disorder.
Therapeutic advances have changed the landscape. Since 1991, as Dr. Joel Paris points out in his 2008 book, Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder, researchers have conducted at least 17 randomized trials of various psychotherapies for borderline illness, and most have shown encouraging results. According to a big Harvard project called the McLean Study of Adult Development, 88% of those who received a diagnosis of BPD no longer meet the criteria for the disorder a decade after starting treatment. Most show some improvement within a year. Continue reading Interesting Article from Time Magazine on BPD →
 Mindy McCready, of whom I have recently written regarding BPD, attempted suicide again…
Newsday.com
Mindy McCready in hospital after another suicide try
BY ROBERT KAHN
December 18, 2008
Anguished country crooner Mindy McCready has been hospitalized after what appears to be her second suicide attempt this year.
McCready, who was treated at a Texas rehab center this summer after an attempt to kill herself, was taken to a Nashville hospital yesterday morning with wounds to her wrists, according to local police officials.
The attempt comes at the end of a tumultuous year for the 33-year-old singer, who went public in April with claims that she was the other woman in an adulterous affair with superstar pitcher Roger Clemens. Clemens has never acknowledged such a relationship took place.
-Click here to see photos of Mindy McCready through the years
Nashville police last night said that McCready, whose legal first name is Malinda, called her assistant, Brent Young, at 7:50 a.m. to say she needed him to come over, because “she had done something bad.” Young arrived at 10:15 a.m. “and discovered that she had cut her wrists and taken several pills.” McCready was taken to Centennial Hospital, according to the report.
McCready’s attorney, Lee Offman, told Newsday last night that he was “still trying to gather details.” A call to Clemens’ agent, Randy Hendricks, was not immediately returned.
As recently as last month, McCready was publicly discussing the alleged affair with Clemens. “Carrying on a relationship with him is not something I’m proud of,” McCready said on the syndicated program “Inside Edition.”
McCready met Clemens at a Florida karaoke bar when she was 15 and he was 28. She has said her attraction to the athlete was instant.
“He treated me like a princess,” she said. McCready says the relationship did not become intimate until several years later. Her mother has said she believes the pair shared a “platonic” friendship.
Clemens has only apologized for “mistakes” in his personal life. Congress this year held hearings on the baseball pitcher’s alleged use of performance-enhancing drugs. Even as she attempted to refocus on her music career, McCready was interviewed by FBI agents for Clemens’ perjury investigation.
McCready suffered what she called a “nervous breakdown” in July and entered into rehab. After her release in September, she told reporters she was excited about recording a new CD.
The singer, who was once engaged to ” Superman” actor Dean Cain, has written a song about the tumultuous past few years in her life, “I’m Still Here.”
A prescription drug problem has landed her in jail twice. She most recently served time for violating probation after a drug arrest. Last month, she told “Inside Edition” she was optimistic about her future. “Redemption is out there for everybody to get, and just watch me. I’m gonna show you how to do it.”
-Click here to see photos of Mindy McCready through the years
Copyright © 2008, Newsday Inc.
 I’m not much of a country music fan, but I have stumbled upon Mindy McCready, who I suspect has BPD (again, I’m not a doctor or have I ever met her so this is an arm-chair analysis). Here are some possible clues:
Suicidal Tendencies
In May 2005, McCready’s ex-boyfriend, Billy McKnight, was arrested and charged with attempted murder after beating and choking McCready. The following July, McCready was found unconscious in a hotel lobby in Indian Rocks Beach, Florida after attempting suicide. She was hospitalized for a drug overdose after washing down a large amount of undisclosed drugs with alcohol. That September, McCready, who was then pregnant with McKnight’s child, attempted suicide for a second time by overdosing on antidepressants.
Substance Abuse
In August 2004, McCready was arrested in Tennessee for using a fake prescription to buy the painkiller OxyContin. Although she initially denied the charge, she pleaded guilty and was fined $4,000, sentenced to three years probation, and ordered to perform 200 hours of community service.
In May 2005, she was stopped by Nashville police for speeding and then arrested and charged with driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license. A jury later found her not guilty on the charges of DUI, but guilty of driving with a suspended license. That July, she was charged in Arizona with identity theft, unlawful use of transportation, unlawful imprisonment, and hindering prosecution.
Difficult Relationships
In May 2005, McCready’s ex-boyfriend, Billy McKnight, was arrested and charged with attempted murder after beating and choking McCready.
Inappropriate Sexual Behavior
In April 2008, the New York Daily News reported on a possible long-term relationship between McCready and baseball star Roger Clemens that began when she was 15 years old.
Clemens’ attorney Rusty Hardin denied the affair and also stated that Clemens would be bringing a defamation suit regarding this false allegation. Clemens’ attorney admitted that a relationship existed, but described McCready as a “close family friend”. He also stated that McCready had traveled on Clemens’ personal jet and that Clemens’ wife was aware of the relationship. However, McCready confirmed the relationship as being sexual in nature.
On November 17, 2008, McCready spoke in more detail to Inside Edition about her affair with Clemens. She stated that their relationship lasted for more than a decade, and that it ended when Clemens refused to leave his wife to marry McCready. However, she denied that she was fifteen years old when it began, saying that they met when she was sixteen and the affair only became sexual “several years later”.
I read this article yesterday on my mobile… how horribly sad:
Fla. teen commits suicide with live Web audience
By RASHA MADKOUR – 1 day ago
MIAMI (AP) — A college student committed suicide by taking a drug overdose in front of a live webcam as some computer users egged him on, others tried to talk him out of it, and another messaged OMG in horror when it became clear it was no joke. Some watchers contacted the Web site to notify police, but by the time officers entered Abraham Biggs’ home — a scene also captured on the Internet — it was too late.
Biggs, a 19-year-old Broward College student who suffered from what his family said was bipolar disorder, or manic depression, lay dead on his bed in his father’s Pembroke Pines house Wednesday afternoon, the camera still running 12 hours after Biggs announced his intentions online around 3 a.m.
It was unclear how many people watched it unfold.
Biggs was not the first person to commit suicide with a webcam rolling. But the drawn-out drama — and the reaction of those watching — was seen as an extreme example of young people’s penchant for sharing intimate details about themselves over the Internet.
Biggs’ family was infuriated that no one acted sooner to save him, neither the viewers nor the Web site that hosted the live video, Justin.tv. The Web site shows a video image, with a space alongside where computer users can instantly post comments.
Only when police arrived did the Web feed stop, “so that’s 12 hours of watching,” said the victim’s sister, Rosalind Bigg. “They got hits, they got viewers, nothing happened for hours.”
She added: “It didn’t have to be.”
An autopsy concluded Biggs died from a combination of opiates and benzodiazepine, which his family said was prescribed for his bipolar disorder.
Biggs announced his plans to kill himself over a Web site for bodybuilders, authorities said. But some users told investigators they did not take him seriously because he had threatened suicide on the site before.
Some members of his virtual audience encouraged him to do it, others tried to talk him out of it, and some discussed whether he was taking a dose big enough to kill himself, said Wendy Crane, an investigator with the Broward County medical examiner’s office.
A computer user who claimed to have watched said that after swallowing some pills, Biggs went to sleep and appeared to be breathing for a few hours while others cracked jokes.
Someone notified the moderator of the bodybuilding site, who traced Biggs’ location and called police, Crane said.
As police entered the room, the audience’s reaction was filled with Internet shorthand: “OMFG,” one wrote, meaning “Oh, my God.” Others, either not knowing what they were seeing, or not caring, wrote “lol,” which means “laughing out loud,” and “hahahah.”
An online video purportedly from Biggs’ webcam shows a gun-wielding officer entering a bedroom, where a man is lying on a bed, his face turned away from the camera. The officer begins to examine him, as the camera lens is covered. Authorities could not immediately verify the authenticity of the video, though it matched their description of what occurred.
Montana Miller, an assistant professor of popular culture at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, said Biggs’ very public suicide was not shocking, given the way teenagers chronicle every facet of their lives on sites like Facebook and MySpace.
“If it’s not recorded or documented then it doesn’t even seem worthwhile,” she said. “For today’s generation it might seem, `What’s the point of doing it if everyone isn’t going to see it?’”
She likened Biggs’ death to other public ways of committing suicide, like jumping off a bridge.
Crane said she knows of a case in which a Florida man shot himself in the head in front of an online audience, though she didn’t know how much viewers saw. In Britain last year, a man hanged himself while chatting online.
In a statement, Justin.tv CEO Michael Seibel said: “We regret that this has occurred and want to respect the privacy of the broadcaster and his family during this time.”
The Web site would not say how many people were watching the broadcast. The site as a whole had 672,000 unique visitors in October, according to Nielsen.
Miami lawyer William Hill said there is probably nothing that could be done legally to those who watched and did not act. As for whether the Web site could be held liable, Hill said there doesn’t seem to be much of a case for negligence.
“There could conceivably be some liability if they knew this was happening and they had some ability to intervene and didn’t take action,” said Hill, who does business litigation and has represented a number of Internet-based clients. But “I think it would be a stretch.”
Condolences poured into Biggs’ MySpace page, where the mostly unsmiling teen is seen posing in a series of pictures with various young women. On the bodybuilding Web site, Biggs used the screen name CandyJunkie. His Justin.tv alias was “feels_like_ecstacy.”
Rosalind Bigg described her brother as an outgoing person who struck up conversations with Starbucks baristas and enjoyed taking his young nieces to Chuck E. Cheese. He was health-conscious and exercised but was not a bodybuilder, she said.
“This is very, very sudden and unexpected for us,” the sister said. “It boggles the mind. We don’t understand.”
___
Associated Press Writers Jessica Gresko and Lisa Orkin Emmanuel and the AP News Research Center in New York contributed to this report.
(This version CORRECTS sister’s last name in next-to-last graf.)
 It was extremely sad to see that David Foster Wallace killed himself last month. He was a talented writer and an excellent observer of the human condition. Apparently, he suffered from major depression and had ceased his medications. Really sad. I was reading an article about him in the current issue of Rolling Stone and found a quote that summarizes my attitudes toward people with BPD’s view of themselves. I’m not saying Wallace had BPD – I really don’t know enough about him to say – but this view of oneself encapsulates the deep feeling of shame that accompanies BPD:
There’s good self-consciousness, and then there’s toxic, paralyzing,
raped-by-Bedouins self-consciousness. I think being shy basically means
being self-absorbed to the point that it makes it difficult to be around
other people. For instance, if I’m hanging out with you, I can’t even
tell whether I like you or not because I’m too worried about whether or
not you like me. (David Foster Wallace)
You see, I often hear Non-BPs (the loved ones and family members of people with BPD) tell me that they feel that their loved one with BPD is extremely “selfish” or very “Narcissistic.” I always try to caution them on this statement because, when someone is in pain, yes, they will tend to look inward, but it’s not selfishness or Narcissism, in my opinion. It’s the ravages of deep shame and shyness that cause people with BPD to take such a view of the world. A person with BPD will dread the judgment, punishment and/or disapproval of other people. That is the kind of self-consciousness that is present in BPD.
To further follow up on this idea, here is a quote from me to a member of the ATSTP list from about two years ago. I was responding to the “lack of empathy” that his significant other (SO) was showing toward him:
It is frustrating and part of it seems very selfish on their part. My
wife actually showed sympathy for me this morning – I had a bit of an
upset stomach, so she said “I hope you feel better” a couple of times.
Of course, initially she thought I was mad at her or something (there
was still a lingering feeling that it was about her).
I also think there’s a step beyond empathy, and that’s compassion. I
think if you look at the spectrum of understanding for other people
you have something like self-centeredness (but not necessarily
positive) – pity – sympathy – empathy – compassion. (and there’s
probably a bunch of feelings in-between. The spectrum seems to run
from extreme self-interest to selflessness, of course, I could be
wrong on all of that – just an idea. It is easy to have compassion and
unconditional love for your kids, but for your SO it can be more
difficult because there are expectations on each side of the equation.
When your SO doesn’t live up to those expectations, even if they are
simple consideration, it is disappointing. I know it is difficult with
my wife as well – some of the time. Even my kids are wary of my wife’s
behavior at times.
I wonder if our SO’s don’t have much understanding of other people’s
pain because of the judgment factor. Perhaps they believe that
with “understanding” comes a level of judgment at least for
themselves. Or it could be that they believe no one actually
understands them, so the process of understanding others is pointless.
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