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What holds us back before we start – From When Hope is Not Enough
The skills I offer in this book are counter-intuitive. They go against many of the things that we have been taught to believe about relationships. What holds us back before we start I often see on my support list “newbies” who are not teachable. They arrive at the list seemingly willing to listen to the experienced members, yet in reality they subconsciously feel they have it all figured out. The experience of the “old timers” is extraordinarily valuable. In fact, that experience is the greatest asset available on the list. It is why I decided to revise this book to reflect the teaching from the sharing of that experience. Many…
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Why I called the book “When Hope is Not Enough”
In 2007, I wrote the first edition of When Hope is Not Enough. When considering the title, I landed on this one because it rings true to a person who is a supporter and loved one of a person who meets the criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Back when I wrote the book, there were very few books on the subject (only about 2-3) and the most popular of the books – the one recommended by therapist across my country (US) and which had sold hundreds of thousands of copies – had been ineffective in my life. I just found that the skills offered in that book worked at…
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Ignore Your Feelings
We certainly share a lot with DBT, a kind of CBT for people who have intensely destructive feelings—dialectic behavioral therapy. Particularly because it started out with the idea that it was directly for people who were suffering terribly. Ignore Your Feelings A profanity-filled new self-help book argues that life is kind of terrible, so you should value your actions over your emotions. OLGA KHAZAN SEP 9, 2015 Put down the talking stick. Stop fruitlessly seeking “closure” with your peevish co-worker. And please, don’t bother telling your spouse how annoying you find their tongue-clicking habit—sometimes honesty is less like a breath of fresh air and more like a fart. That’s the…
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Nasty Divorce: A Kids Eye View (An Excerpt)
Her mother was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Meredith still deals with the aftermath of abuse and parental alienation. Nasty Divorce: A Kids Eye View (An Excerpt) SEPTEMBER 25, 2015 BY MARINA SBROCHI Marina Sbrochi hopes to incite behavior change by sharing the experiences of children and damaging effects of high conflict divorce. MEREDITH’S STORY Meredith’s parents divorced when her older sister was three and her mother was pregnant with her. She had been told varying stories of why her father hadn’t been in their lives. It began with her mother telling her from as early as she can remember that her father denied fathering her and wanted nothing…
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Attitudes toward effectiveness: Throw away the Scoreboard
In order to live a life and have a relationship without creating resentments and tallying up fears, you must throw away the scoreboard. What’s this about a scoreboard? The scoreboard is the “what she does for me” vs “what I have done for her” measure. It’s an accounting of transactions in the relationship. It’s not just about marriage (and sex); parents have a scoreboard for their kids as well. How their kids with BPD don’t appreciate the sacrifice they have made for them and blah, blah, blah. This scoreboard results in more resentment (she’s not meeting my needs) and more fear (I’m going to be the only one giving for…
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When Hope is Not Enough, Second Edition Print Edition Available at Amazon
When Hope is Not Enough, Second Edition Print Edition Available at Amazon! In the next few days, I’ll retire the first edition. No related posts.
