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Burnout, Compassion Fatigue and why non-BPDs lack compassion for borderlines
Do non-BPDs have enough compassion for people with Borderline Personality Disorder? A few months ago, Dr. Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, About.com’s BPD guide, posted a message entitled “Have Compassion” in which she said: “Many times each week I receive reader comments, forum posts, and personal emails that are incredibly hateful toward people with BPD. I do understand that many people have been hurt by individuals with BPD, and that usually these comments are written from a place of pain and anger. But, I am often shocked by the level of vitriol in these comments.” She went on to implore non-BPDs to have compassion for those suffering from BPD saying: “People with…
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Updated Beyond Boundaries eBook
Today, I updated the Beyond Boundaries eBook and created a second edition. Much of the content from the original Beyond Boundaries eBook is the same. I repaired some (hopefully all) of the typos and rewrote small portions of the eBook to make certain skills and concepts clearer. It is still 72 pages, yet the file size is 30% smaller. I guess this is due to a more efficient Adobe Acrobat. Here is the original announcement about Beyond Boundaries: My new eBook needs some explaining I think… It is an attempt of mine to bring together the ideas that I presented in “When Hope is Not Enough” plus some new ideas with…
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Ok, Bon, what’s wrong with boundaries?
A page from my eBook “Beyond Boundaries”…. In a word, nothing. What I have a problem with is people using only boundaries (also known as “limits”). I have a problem with people thinking that boundaries are the end-all, be-all of relationship tools. I also have a problem with people using “boundaries” that are not really boundaries at all. Let me explain… Many in the Non-BPD support community (loved ones of people with borderline personality disorder – BPD) seem to latch on to boundaries as the main tool for dealing with their loved one with BPD. While boundaries (if understood and used properly) can be an effective tool for you, boundaries…
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How to set boundaries to protect yourself and improve living with a BP?
“How to set boundaries to protect yourself and improve living with a BP?” OK, I don’t normally do it, but today I went out to my old (circa 2005-2006) haunt – WTO (i.e. “Welcome to Oz”). WTO is the largest non-BP board on the Internet. It’s been around or at least 10 years and has over 4,000 members. Most of the members are quiet (like me). I used to post way back when and got into a number of “altercations” with people because I was presenting a different approach to people with BPD than the majority of the members. Mostly, it’s people who have just started trying to figure out…
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A brief note about a new book
Recently, Randi Kreger published her new book “The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder.” I read it and have to give thanks to Randi for providing it to me gratis. Thanks Randi! At the same time, I have a problem with this book. While it is MUCH better than “Stop Walking on Eggshells” (SWOE), her previous book about NON-BPs, I agree with her prescription about 40%. Her sections on “Communicating to be heard” and “Reinforcing right behavior” are agreeable, the rest is NOT agreeable to me. I will soon offer a true book review of this new book; however, I believe (humbly) that my book WHINE is a MUCH…
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Boundaries and their effective use
Well, well, well… I don’t know why but apparently I continue to be a subject at WTO. Weird. I posted about this a few days ago. I’ve been out of touch with the blog for a few days, while I do family stuff and take care of my email list. I really admire the people on my list; they do a great job of being both honest and validating with one another – while at the same time providing constructive advice to one another. Boundaries… I’ve posted about boundaries many times before. I think boundaries are one of the most misunderstood concepts in the non-BP/BP relationship. While it is difficult…