Borderline Personality Disorder,  Boundaries,  Resources,  Validation

Why did I bother to write a book?

Interestingly, I have sold more downloaded books than print copies thus far. I have sold about twice as many of the downloaded version (at $7.50) than the print copy ($19.95). This is not something that I expected to happen.

I have been asked time and time again why I bothered to write a book. There are other books out there, including the best-selling Non-BP book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” (or SWOE). I read SWOE about 2 ½ years ago and found it lacking. The big problem with it for me was that the prescription for “taking back your life” wasn’t working in my life. The application of boundaries, for example, wasn’t effective. So, I sought out other resources like a personal statement writer service that would turn out to be effective. I wrote my book “When Hope is Not Enough” for four main reasons:

  1. Other books on the subject (most notably SWOE) didn’t work or tell me HOW to do things. I needed the know-how. My book tries to supply the know-how to “deal with” someone with BPD. I learned a lot from SWOE, but again, I wanted to know WHAT to do and HOW to do it.
  2. Obviously, the money angle comes into play. I have wanted to quit my day job for a long time now, but I need the income to support my family. I’d like to do this “Non-BP” thing full time. I feel that the Non-BP’s are missing the support resources. While I do run the ATSTP email list to help support Non-BP’s, I didn’t feel like that was enough – plus, it doesn’t pay me anything. I am hoping that I will get better sales once the book makes it to Amazon. That should happen in about a month or so.
  3. I wanted to collect all of my tools and skills in one place. Often, I have to re-educate newbies (and even some old timers) on my email list. I find myself going over the same old ground again and again – explaining the disorder, instructing on the proper use of boundaries and validation, etc., etc. It’s difficult for me to step back in time and put myself in the mind-set of someone who knows little about the disorder and what to do in the face of it. I wanted to create a compendium for the attitudes and tools that are effective when dealing with BPD. One of the key tools is, of course, emotional validation. I expect to write another eBook specifically on validation, what it is and how to do it properly. I explain it at length in my book, but there are many other concepts I have to explain before I explain validation. I think a dedicated eBook in which I explain in detail the validation process would help.
  4. Finally, the members of my email list asked me to write the book. They were also looking for a single resource that collected all of the knowledge about dealing with highly emotional people in one place. I hope the book will function in this way.


  • Cathy Kane

    Hello, I am a suffer of BPD and was diagnosed in 2005 at my first hospital intake. I have actually been researching this disorder a lot more recently and am considering writing a book myself. I have read walking on eggshells and I hate you don’t leave me and Girl Interrupted as well as own the movie. I agree with you that there is just not enough information on this disorder. anyone can pick up a book and read the symptoms and say oh yeah that sounds like me, but to live it every day is not the same. i am a 38 yr. old happily married woman with 2 children. my plan is to yes write the medical information but to add a bit of what it “FEELS” like and how my family copes with me, especially my young children who may not always understand why mom does and says the things she does and much else. But i am getting away with myself here. I just wanted to congratulate you on taking the time out of your life to help others to understand this stifling disorder, and offer my help in anyway. I have currently just began DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) Therapy and intend on writing my version of how it helps me along the way.I just began so this may be a long way in the making. anyways, thanks again.

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