Blaming Never Helps

From “”Peace is Every Step”” by Thich Nhat Hanh:

When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you donít blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. One day in Paris, I gave a lecture about not blaming the lettuce. After the talk, I was doing walking meditation by myself, and when I turned the corner of a building, I overheard an eight-year-old girl telling her mother, “”Mommy, remember to water me. I am your lettuce.”” I was so pleased that she had understood my point completely. Then I heard her mother reply, “”Yes, my daughter, and I am your lettuce also. So please donít forget to water me too.”” Mother and daughter practicing together, it was very beautiful.