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All New Recommened Reading List for Non-BPs
I decided today to re-do my recommended reading list and use my Amazon store in its place. I felt it was getting kind of hard to maintain, and a bit stale. The new version has more good books on Borderline Personality Disorder, emotional skills and other such things. I arraigned it in categories now. Those categories are: Best Non-BPD books (self-help and informational books) Research on BPD (current and past research – mainly for therapists) Emotional Skills books (I particularly like Ekman’s books) Other books (Miscellaneous books on training, mindfulness and decision-making) And, my new favorite: ATSTP List Member Books (recommended by members of the ATSTP email list) Check them…
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The great tree of behavior modification
When I talk to Nons, either in person or virtually, I find that they have the biggest problems with the behaviors of their loved ones with BPD. In When Hope is Not Enough, I outline a way to work on behavior modification and help the person with BPD change problem behaviors. The tool of reinforcement is number eight out of a tool of eleven tools. It rests on the foundation built through the application of other tools (mostly emotional ones) and attitudes presented in When Hope is Not Enough. In other words, behavior modification through reinforcement, which is usually called “shaping,” is not possible without first understanding, implementing and mastering…
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Prices Rising on my eBooks
All, because of the change in Google Checkout’s commission formula – I have to raise the price of my eBooks by $1.00. The cost of the eBook for When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is now $7.00 (USD). The cost of But I Love You: a primer for understanding a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder has risen to $5.00 (USD). The upside of this change is that now that Google Checkout has implemented digital-goods delivery, you can get your eBook moments after you order it! Here are the new Google Checkout buttons for these two eBooks: When…
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What is your goal for your relationship?
I have recently made a realization about the other Non-BP writers and myself. I realized that our goals are completely different. When reading other books about being a loved one of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (mainly those written by lay people, as opposed to professionals), I have found that essentially we fall into three categories. These categories are: Those that are chiefly concerned with stopping the emotional abuse doled out by the person with BPD. This category is the largest of the three. Most books written about being a loved one of someone with BPD fall into this category. These books include: “Tears and Healing”, “Stop Walking on…
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Nice Comment from Someone with BPD
The other day I received a nice comment from a woman with BPD. She told me that she was planning on revealing to her long time significant other that she has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She said that she was planning on giving him 2 books – “When Hope is Not Enough” (my book) and “I Hate You Don’t Leave Me”. She was hoping that her SO will better understand her by reading these. Personally, I was flattered. To have my book used in that way makes me quite gratified. Here is a quote from the end of her message to me: Another thing that I really…
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Success and the Path to Effectiveness
Over the past two days on the ATSTP Google Group, I have been happy to see some success exhibited. Many people on the Internet and on Internet email supports lists for Non-BPs will tell you that there is no hope of having a relationship with someone with BPD. Often I have seen that the only “advice” given to Nons is: RUN AWAY! Even on the “staying” sites and sub-sites, many people think that it will never get better EVER – which to me is a form of black-and-white thinking that Nons engage in. While hope may not be enough, the BP/Non-BP partner relationship is not without hope at all. This…