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A failure to mentalize – Mentalization Information Part 2
Often, when speaking with someone who is a close “attachment person,” misunderstandings, assumptions and ineffective modes of thinking creep into the situation. Bateman identifies several “modes” of thinking that inhibit mentalization. These modes are: Psychic Equivalence – when the world is equivalent to the person’s mind. This is the “feelings = facts” mode. “If I feel sad, there must be someone/something that made me sad.” Pretend – mental states are not anchored in reality. Pretending “as if” something is true, when external evidence shows the contrary. This is “bullshitting” mode. Teleological – mental states can only be expressed in action. “If you loved me, you’d buy me a car.” Only…
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Mentalization Information Part 1
What is mentalization? Basically, mentalization is the connection of mind to mind in a particular exchange. It is about in-the-moment interaction, not about the past or future. It is about communicating and understanding your and the other person’s explicit and implicit expressions and motivations, feelings, goals, etc. It is about accurately expressing yourself and listening to the other person in a search for meaning. It is about internalizing the other’s viewpoint and having the other internalize your viewpoint. A really good example of mentalizing is an inside joke – both you and the other person completely understand the meaning of the joke and have internalized the meaning. Jerry Holmes, a…
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Social Problems in Teens Can Lead to Personality Disorders
A new research study looks at how adolescents think, how disordered thinking can take root, and how this thought pattern can ultimately lead to an adult personality disorder. An article from psychcentral about a study indicating that social problems in teens can lead to personality disorders: Social Problems in Teens Can Lead to Personality Disorders By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News Editor Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on September 29, 2011 A new research study looks at how adolescents think, how disordered thinking can take root, and how this thought pattern can ultimately lead to an adult personality disorder. The study examines the relationship between borderline personality disorder (BPD)…
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It’s time to reject the notion that people with personality disorders are beyond help
It’s time to reject the notion that people with personality disorders are beyond help, writes Peter Aldhous FENELLA Lemonsky was 15 when her life disintegrated. She had never been a happy child, but things went from bad to worse in adolescence. Her family had relocated from South Africa to London a few years earlier and she found it impossible to make friends. “I was having mood problems, I was binge-eating and I didn’t know what was happening to me,” Lemonsky recalls. “I would overdose and go to Accident and Emergency. Eventually, I spent time in various psychiatric hospitals, but they didn’t know how to treat me.” Lemonsky had to wait…
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Ask Bon: How do I get my borderline loved one in therapy? What’s the best kind of therapy? How long will it take to cure them?
Q: How do I get my borderline loved one in therapy? What’s the best kind of therapy? How long will it take to cure them? A: Unless your borderline loved one is a minor or you have a court order, you can’t force anyone into therapy. Therapy must be a choice of the person that needs it. It will probably be much more effective if the person with BPD chooses to go to therapy. Yet, therapy is not like sending your car in for repairs. It’s not as if you send the person in to therapy, he/she gets a new part and comes out fixed. That’s not the way therapy…
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Turning the Mind around Social Situations
My emotionally sensitive daughter has been having a problem with one of her long-time friends. This friend has decided to start hanging out with the “popular” girls in school. Unfortunately, these “popular” girls are also the ones that are dating older boys and using substances (alcohol, pot). My daughter doesn’t like these other girls and doesn’t want to be their friend or be involved with them. The problem is that my daughter is taking this “break” personally. She believes that she did something that made this friend “leave her”. OK, so what do you do? I believe the only way to address this situation is to help my daughter “turn…