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Emotions and #BPD
A person with BPD is characterized by having a diminished ability to regulate their emotions during interactions with other people. This means that someone with BPD will likely react much more emotionally to a given situation than someone without BPD. A person with BPD is likely to get angry and, at times, fly into a rage at seemingly trivial events and interactions. She also will have a tendency to personalize external events. In other words, the person suffering from BPD will believe that other people’s behavior and comments are “about her,” sometimes interpreting veiled criticism or judgment of her behavior when the evidence shows that there is none. The person…
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Why do we need emotions?
We need our emotions for protection. When a car swerves in front of yours on the highway, your mind takes that cue as dangerous, triggers fear and almost automatically reacts to swerve out of the way. Even after the fear has dissipated, you may still feel the fear in your body. I remember once when I was on the highway (and talking on the cell phone), I saw a car seem to fly into the air two lanes over from me and a few cars in front. It was as if everything was happening in slow motion, because a postal truck, one of those with a van-like cab and a…
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What are emotions and why do we have them?
Emotions are built-in mechanisms for keeping us safe. The “base” of emotions in our brain is in the limbic system, deep within the core and just above the brain stem. I like to refer to emotions as the “land-bridge” between the mind and the body. When you experience emotions both your body and mind react. If you feel fearful, your body reacts by speeding up your heart-rate, contracting capillaries in your extremities (that is why you can “go pale”), and releasing adrenaline into your bloodstream. Your emotion, fear in this case, is preparing your body to run away fast, which is the natural reaction to fear. Emotions are, in some…
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Family Dynamics Around the Holiday Table
The holidays are often thought of as a time of warmth and happiness, family gathered around the table creating wonderful family memories. But for many of us, it can also be a time of angst and anxiety. (link to the article) There are many reasons you may feel stress. Perhaps you are a student struggling with school and are afraid of criticism from your family. You may be unemployed and don’t want to face questions about your job search or finances. Maybe you’ve put on or lost “too much” weight this year and are feeling self conscious. If you have been struggling with depression, mood swings or anxiety, you may…
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Be mindful of transitions with BPD
Transitions, especially as they relate to identity, can wreck havoc in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The last few months have been very difficult in my household with my wife with BPD. Over the weekend, she engaged in self-injury for the first time in eight years. Why? Because my household is going through a very significant transition. My girls have applied to and gone to college, leaving only my wife, my last child (a middle schooler) and myself in the house. My wife identifies herself as primarily a mother. She is greatly attached to our girls and now that they have “left the nest,” my wife’s…
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The Surprising Key Element in Happy Couples – Emotional Intelligence
Bon: I like to call this emotional agility… The Surprising Key Element in Happy Couples Have you ever wondered if you and the guy you just started dating will make it long term? Or are you about to get married, and wish you could really predict if it will last? Do you ever wonder if you and your wife’s relationship is as happy as it can be? What do you think accounts for those who seem madly in love, versus couples who don’t make it or seem miserable together? Most of us can think of all sorts of elements that might make a happy couple. But there’s one key factor…