• DBT

    Cognitive Distortions

    This is a portion of a message that I posted on WTO many months ago. I will probably cut some more out of it and post it here, because I think it is important. I have removed some of the details and responses to other messages that would not make sense here: I think people often make mistakes in “self-diagnosis”. For all I know, half the people (or more) viewing these messages are not dealing with BPD at all, but instead something else. That is one of the reasons that a couple of months ago, I specifically asked a mother on this board whether her daughter was diagnosed with BPD and…

  • Manipulation

    Tools and the Borderline

    Tools and the Borderline I found this post to the thread “Author of Eggshells Workbook is a Moron” from a cached copy of the “Crazy Talk” web forum. Unfortunately, the Crazy Talk board has moved to a new server and the old threads were not carried over. I guess Google will maintain it in their cache for a while. The thread itself is a quite interesting version of several borderlines’ views on the SWOE workbook. Here is a particularly insightful post responding to the idea that borderlines are “manipulative”: I don’t think that, in most cases anyway, that the “manipulative” BPD behavior is deliberately so, despite appearances – thus it…

  • Anger,  Emotions

    Va Tech Killer and Emotional Dysregulation

    The Virginia Tech shootings made me want to say a thing or two. There was immediate a lot of talk about gun control and of the shooter’s ability to buy guns and ammunition despite having been found by a court to be a danger to himself and others. I think that the pundits should discuss the real issue here and it is not gun control. While it may still be a good idea to have stricter gun laws, it is not the gun that did the killing; it was Cho himself that used the guns as a tool of murder. The true problem was that Cho was mentally ill and…

  • Lying

    BPD and Lying

    Recently, I have had about 20% of the searches on this site involve someone trying to find out about lying. These searches included: “pathological liar”, “BPD and Lying”, “why does bpd lie?”, etc. It seems one on the most difficult things for the non to accept is BPs lying. Here is a note I posted on WTO some time ago about lying – I think it still applies. As for lying, I believe that all people lie (or are willing to lie) when the truth is too painful to be told – even if that feeling of pain is not based in reality. Do BPs lie more than other people?…

  • Borderline Personality Disorder,  Emotions

    Some Assumptions about BPD

    Main Assumption: BPD is an emotional disorder in which the sufferer experiences extremely intense emotions and has more trouble than “normal” people do returning to “baseline” (they have a long “refractory period”). Notice I didn’t say “moods” – it is not a mood disorder (like bipolar) because moods last a long time. Emotions are short lasting and can spur other emotions. Ever notice how your BP can swing from sadness to anger to shame to elation all in about an hour (or less)? If that is accepted then the next step is: what does one do about that? The best answer I can come up with is to use validation.…

  • DBT

    The First Two Rules of DBT are…

    The First Two Rules of DBT are… The first two rules of DBT are: 1. Everyone is doing the best they can. Both the BP and the family members are doing the best they can and are coping with the situation in a way they have learn how to. Some of the behvaiors of the BPs may seem “crazy” and directed toward us nons, but they are doing the best they can to cope with the emotional pain/turmoil they experience. I have seen this emotional turmoil up close and personal in the past few days. My wife is very emotionally dysregulated at this time (i.e. in “Oz”), but the reality…