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On a site that I previously mentioned, I found the top ten ways to improve emotional literacy.
| 1. Become emotionally literate. Label your feelings, rather than labeling people or situations. | “I feel impatient.” vs “This is ridiculous.” I feel hurt and bitter”. vs. “You are an insensitive jerk.” “I feel afraid.” vs. “You are driving like a idiot.” |
| 2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings. | Thoughts: I feel like…& I feel as if…. & I feel that Feelings: I feel: (feeling word) |
| 3. Take more responsibility for your feelings. | “I feel jealous.” vs. “You are making me jealous.” |
| 4. Use your feelings to help them make decisions. | “How will I feel if I do this?” “How will I feel if I don’t” |
| 5. Show respect for other people’s feelings. | Ask “How will you feel if I do this?” “How will you feel if I don’t.” |
| 6. Feel energized, not angry. | Use what others call “anger” to help feel energized to take productive action. |
| 7. Validate other people’s feelings. | Show empathy, understanding, and acceptance of other people’s feelings. |
| 8. Practice getting a positive value from emotions. | Ask yourself: “How do I feel?” and “What would help me feel better?”Ask others “How do you feel?” and “What would help you feel better?” |
| 9. Don’t advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture to others. | Instead, try to just listen with empathy and non-judgment. |
| 10. Avoid people who invalidate you. | While this is not always possible, at least try to spend less time with them, or try not to let them have psychological power over you. |
Related posts:
- Talking to someone with emotional issues
- Emotional Tolerance and BPD
- Emotional Glasses for Liars and Tantrums
- Emotional Validation with Honesty
- What Diane Schuler’s story can tell us about emotional honesty and acceptance
- Ask Bon: How do I balance validating somebody’s feelings with protecting myself or my children from emotional abuse?
- Ask Bon: Why do you emphasize emotional validation so much?
- Top 10 Emotional Needs
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