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Archive for the 'Impulsiveness' Category

Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse Friends - a match made in heaven?

Pete and Amy SmoochWell, I found out today that Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty are hanging out together. Wow! What a match. Amy is leading my celeb-o-meter of possible celebrities with BPD, and Pete has (maybe) jumped to the head of the line and pinned the meter with his blood paintings, self-harm, drug usage and you name what else. I guess there’s some sort of attraction to someone like you. According to most sites, it’s platonic - but would can have sex after doing a boat load of drugs anyway?

Update! A new version of my book is out!

I have created a new version of my book, which fixes some typos and clarifies some points. I also was able to drop the price! It’s now $19.95, instead of $20.95. Since it got 3 pages shorter, I will be able to make a decent profit at the lower price. That price anticipates the cost it will have to be when I get it on Amazon (shortly).

Anyway, I suggest you check out the preview, and pick up a copy (shameless self-promotion). You can see the preview or buy the printed or downloadable version of When Love is Not Enough at Lulu.com.

If you are one of my readers with BPD, I would suggest getting a copy for anyone with whom you’d like to have an on-going relationship. Why? Because this book teaches a “Non-BP” the attitudes and tools to be more effective and more validating toward someone with BPD. The purpose is to rebuild the lines of communication. Like I said in a previous post (or comment), if I can quote myself here:

The BP/Non-BP relationship seems to me to be one of misunderstanding and miscommunication. I hope that I can help each learn the language of the other. And I agree most public awareness is important - BUT it has to be the right kind of awareness - not the “stay away from these people” or “these people are evil” kind.

Enjoy!

The Book is Out! When Love is Not Enough…

When Love is Not EnoughAt long last (about six months of work and 2 1/2 years of research, experimentation and practice), my first book When Love is Not Enough (WLINE) has been published!

This book is a quick-start, how-to guide for Non-BPs. It spells out step-by-step WHAT to do in your relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD traits) and HOW to do it. Unlike other books on this subject (you guys probably know which ones I’m talking about), WLINE tells EXACTLY what to do. Through the use of attitudes and tools, WLINE can help you build mastery over your relationship, regain control of your life and develop a deeper understanding of your BP loved one. I highly recommend it (if I do say so myself).

Although WLINE is fairly short (about 185 pages), it is packed full insights, advice and practical skills to help you understand your BP and to reestablish the lines of communication. If you are a Non-BP, WLINE is an essential resource. If you have BPD, I would recommend that you recommend WLINE to your family members, partners and friends (that is, if they are aware of your disorder). WLINE helps to build the bridge of understanding, serenity and effective communication between Nons and BPs.

It could be the most effective $20.95 you’ve ever spent.

If you’d like to buy a printed or eBook copy of WLINE, I am selling the book through Lulu:

Buy the Book!

A note on the title… I kicked around a number of titles before settling on this one. It is my feeling that most Nons don’t understand that, in addition to love, they have to develop ATTITUDES and SKILLS to be effective in their relationship with a BP. WLINE actually innumerates these attitudes and skills and provides detailed examples of how to apply them. With a commitment to the relationship, application of the concepts in the book and PRACTICE, a Non can learn what IS enough in their relationship with a BP.

Why Pete Doherty has jumped to the front of the line for BPD celebs

petedoherty.jpgOK, well, the other day I posted on how Pete Doherty has jumped to the top of my Celebrities with Borderline Personality Disorder (possibly, but not for sure) list. Why? Well, he just released a series of paintings done in his own blood. Let’s examine the other “evidence” of possible BPD….

(For those of you who don’t know who Pete Doherty is: he’s the lead singer of two British bands: Babyshambles and the Libertines. He dated Kate Moss and he is a regular in the tabloids in London for his erratic and criminal behavior.)

Self-Harm

Painting in one’s own blood seems to indicate self-harm. Here’s another article about Doherty’s self-harm.

Quotes from the self-harm article:

Graphic footage of rock star Pete Doherty deliberately harming himself will not appear in a forthcoming fly-on-the-wall documentary about the former Libertines’ singer, as had been feared by mental health charities.

The scenes of Doherty cutting himself with a broken bottle feature in a rough edit of the documentary, to be shown on BBC3 on Sunday 28 August. The images of Doherty slashing his chest, taken from the edit, were leaked to the national press last week, raising concerns about his mental health.

Substance Abuse

Well, duh… He’s been put in jail numerous times for drug offenses, including heroin and cocaine abuse.

Quotes:

He appeared at Ealing Magistrates’ Court to face charges of possessing heroin and cocaine.

The 26-year-old was arrested by police after he was spotted driving a speeding car in west London on 30 November.

The former Libertines singer has continually been in the headlines over his drug abuse and his relationship with model Kate Moss.

He is due to reappear at Ealing Magistrates Court on 8 February.

The prosecution said police pulled Mr Doherty over after he was spotted speeding and officers said he had a glazed look.

He was found to have three packets of heroin, with a weight of 0.875gm (0.03oz), and one packet containing 0.234gm (0.008oz) cocaine.

Inappropriate Anger

More quotes:

Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has been fined £750 after he admitted assaulting a BBC reporter in March.

The star pleaded guilty at Thames Magistrates’ Court to kicking a microphone out of her hand outside the same court after a separate appearance.

In a statement, the 27-year-old said: “If I hurt this lady I’m sorry.”

The star, who is currently being treated for drug addiction, was also ordered to pay £250 compensation and another £200 in court costs.

Painful hand

He had previously pleaded not guilty to a charge of assault by beating after he kicked out at Radio 1 Newsbeat’s Trudi Barber.

His defence lawyer, Sean Curran, said Doherty changed his plea after watching television footage of the attack.

Indentity Issues

He’s turning to Islam? I wonder how long that will last.

Quotes:

One of Doherty’s friends said: “He’s been reading the Quran since he went into segregation. He’s got a lot of Muslim friends and they’ve been on at him for ages to study it. Now he’s on his own and he’s got time on his hands to study it.

“I’m surprised how much it has calmed him down as he was very on the edge inside. He definitely seems more chilled. He’s lapping it up and really interested in it. I think it’s helping him in there.”

Doherty has been having a difficult time since his 14-week sentence began for violating probation by taking drugs.

Volatile Relationships

_42461439_doherty_body_ap.jpgThe UK hottest couple, Pete Doherty and Kate Moss, split up, after the beautiful supermodel dumped Pete, arguing she cannot stand his way of life anymore, always worrying about him.

On July 22, 2005, Pete Doherty was involved into
a street fight. British newspapers The Sun and Daily Mirror reports that Pete and musician friend Alan Wass fought with a group of Somali youths after they shouted “crackhead” at him.

Farid Khan of Supersave store in Camden Town, said: “The singer ran in pursed by six man. There was a big fight. We got them out but they hurled a brick at the door.”

Kate reportedly told friends: “I can’t go on spending day and night worrying about Pete. He would disappear without a word and I would not hear from him for days. He has to change his lifestyle. Until that happens we are finished.”

Sexual Confusion

DOHERTY: ‘I WAS A GAY RENT BOY AND DRUG DEALER’

Troubled rocker PETE DOHERTY has shocked fans by boasting he worked as a homosexual prostitute and drug dealer to fuel his drug addictions, before he shot to fame in his former band THE LIBERTINES.

The wild singer confesses he was so desperate for money to fund his cocaine and heroin habits, he worked as a rent boy and once robbed a gay client after tying him up at his home.

Dangerous Driving

Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has been fined £300 and disqualified from driving for two months.

The 27-year-old admitted two charges of driving without insurance or a licence at Thames Magistrates Court in London.

District Judge Jane McIvor warned the singer that he faces jail if he drives without a licence again.

The rock star was arrested in November 2006 by officers who spotted him driving his Jaguar erratically near his east London home.

Shame

So you’ve got this support act, some posh bloke with a discomfited smile, slowly eating himself from the inside out from pure embarrassment. One guy with a guitar strumming idle fancies like ‘The Blue Ridge Mountains Of Dakota’, incapable of holding a note or playing a tune, and, what’s worse, he clearly hates himself for it. Pretty soon, he’ll be dead. And then he’s joined by a nonchalant Doherty in trenchcoat and hat. The place breaks out into hysteria. I’m blinded by about twenty camera phones flashing, then I’m nearly sucked under by the wave surging forward. Even Doherty, the boy in the bubble, advises everyone to move back because there’s a girl in the front whose eyes are bulging.

Suicide Attempts

Pete Doherty tried to kill himself in rehab after discovering that Kate Moss was dating a new man. British tabloids tattled that the ‘Babyshambles’ singer downed an entire bottle of pills-he just ended up making himself ill.

“He saw an opportunity to take an overdose and took it. He told me he didn’t know what the pills were but thought ‘fuck it’ and took them all,” says a NOW insider.

“He doesn’t care what drugs do to him—in fact, he likes finding out.”

“To begin with Kate was ringing him up all the time, concerned for his well-being.”

“But when Pete started to quiz her about the new guy, she was evasive and it got to him. She messed with his head.”

Impulsive Behavior

Anthony Thornton, the reviews editor of NME and an authority on The Libertines, said: ‘Pete is at a lower point than he was a year ago. He’s hit depths he didn’t even know existed. He’s not aware of how bad a state he’s in, and the drugs make it worse. He’s incredibly impulsive, he doesn’t take on responsibilities, he’s unreliable and likely to do himself harm.

Unsafe Sexual Behavior

I think anyone who was a male prostitute qualifies in this regard.

So, ole’ Pete hit just about all the categories that I applied to other celebrites. While I am not a doctor and can’t officially diagnose anyone… Pete Doherty looks suspiciously like he may have Borderline Personality Disorder (or something very close to it). And everyone, you will notice that I used mainly news articles in this analysis (with a bit of blogging, didn’t have time to look up interviews for shame - although I’ve been told he says he hates himself and he is a bad person).

Here’s his Wikipedia entry.

Amy Winehouse Crops Up Again

This morning I read an article about Amy Winehouse supposedly putting a cigarette out on her cheek. Of course Winehouse is the #1 candidate on my list of possible celebrity Borderline Personality Sufferers. Here is a copy of the article and a link to one version on the Internet:

Singer reported to have self-harmed in restaurant

Amy Winehouse reportedly stubbed a cigarette out on her own cheek in a restaurant.

The troubled singer was apparently having a crafty fag as she sat with pals in a London eatery last week.

But when a waitress asked her to stop smoking, it’s claimed she pushed the burning ciggie into her own skin.She looks like a hillbilly witch to me

‘She was so out of it she didn’t feel the pain,’ an onlooker tells The Sun.

‘Everyone else looked completely stunned. The waitress covered her mouth in shock and just walked off to tell the manager. It was a horrible sight.’

Last week, Amy, 24, was snapped with a swollen infection on her face, which her spokesman said was impetigo.

Meanwhile, jailed husband Blake Fielder-Civil, 25, is in a bad way himself.

It’s claimed he’s been self-harming in Pentonville Prison, where he is being held on charges of assault and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.

A cry for help perhaps? Or just an impulsive action to show her disapproval for having to put out the butt? Usually, people with BPD use self-harm for pain relief, but this doesn’t seem to be the case with Amy Winehouse.

Does Britney Spears have Borderline Personality Disorder?

It was widely reported in the press after Britney Spear’s “breakdown” and stand-off with the police over the return of her children that she has “a bipolar disorder.” See this excerpt from TMZ.com:

TMZ reported that Spears’ friends “have known for a while that Britney has a very serious mental condition — likely a bipolar disorder that is now in the red zone.”

I think the language here is quite important. Borderline Personality Disorder is so maligned that not a single celebrity has come out and stated that they have the disorder. Bipolar disorder, on the other hand, is not considered just the result of “bad behavior” – it is considered biological in nature – and therefore many celebrities have come out and admitted they have bipolar disorder. Bipolar is an Axis I disorder, BPD an Axis II.

Unfortunately, this distinction is a fallacy. Experts are considering changing the name of BPD to Emotional Regulation Disorder (or emotional dysregulation disorder) and making it Axis I. Why? Because clearly a large part of BPD is biological.

Britney's Got that One of the main differences between bipolar and BPD is the length of the mood swings. In the case of Bipolar Disorder the length of the manic and depressive episodes (and mixed episodes) usually lasts days or weeks, if not longer. There is the case of Bipolar II in which a person may experience hypomania – which is possibly why the media has reported Britney to  have “a” bipolar disorder, rather than just “bipolar disorder” (although some of the media has removed the “a” from in front of the reported disorder). Substance abuse and suicide are both common with Bipolar Disorder and it effects about one half to 1 and one half of a percent of the population.

Borderline Personality Disorder is actually more common than bipolar disorder – some estimates say that it is up to 5% of women and about 2% of the population at large. It is characterized by wildly swinging emotions – not moods. Although many want to classify it as a subclass of mood disorders (like Cyclothymia), it is more a dysregulation of the emotional system. Emotions are immediate and the behaviors, impulsiveness, rage, “moods”, etc. only last for HOURS, not days or weeks. The DSM-IV says this about BPD:

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Substance abuse is so common with BPD sufferers that most estimates say it is co-morbid in over 75%. Also, self-destructive impulses are common (like cutting, over-eating, eating disorders, shopping, shoplifting, sexual deviance or inappropriateness) with BPD. As are suicidal gestures and thoughts, but these are usually impulsive. Impulsivity is a major problem with BPD and here is what the DSM-IV says about that:

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

While I am not a doctor and not knowledgeable enough to diagnose Britney, I suspect that she may have BPD (or bipolar II) and, if she does have BPD, I would hope that she could be the first celebrity to come out and say so. It’s not her fault. It’s not just “bad behavior”. It is a serious mental illness and should be taken care of immediately. What I don’t understand is why she doesn’t get herself a “helper” to aid her in the regulation of her obviously dysregulated and impulsive behavior.
 

Impulsiveness Article

Excerpt: In a study published online last month in The Journal of Psychiatric Research, Janine D. Flory, a psychologist at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in Manhattan, led a team of investigators who studied 351 healthy adults and 70 others with impulse-related disorders like antisocial and borderline personality disorders. The participants took a battery of tests to measure inhibition, appetite for risk and the inclination to plan. Analyzing the responses to questions intended to gauge thrill seeking like, “”I like to explore a strange city or section of town by myself, even if it means getting lost,”" and, “”I like to try foods I’ve never tried before,”" the researchers found that an appetite for risk was associated with smoking in both groups. But in the healthy volunteers, the appetite was also associated with higher education. In previous studies, healthy risk seekers scored highly for curiosity and openness to new experiences. On measurements of instinctive planning - “”I am better at saving money than most people”" and “”I hate to make decisions based on first impressions”" - the researchers found that less deliberative habits were related to heavy drinking in the healthy group and the troubled group. In cases with personality disorders, deficits in planning were also associated with a history of suicide attempts. The combination of sensation seeking and lack of deliberation characterizes millions of healthy people but appears to be extreme in those whose impulsivity leads to chronic trouble or mental illness, Dr. Flory said.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/04/health/psychology/04impulse.html

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