Invalidating our feelings is like throwing petrol onto an already fierce raging fire.
Bon: I think the same could be said of emotionally dysregulated moments with loved ones…
Borderline Personality Disorder: Open Letter to Emergency Department and Hospital Based Staff
By SONIA NEALE
~ 4 min read
People with a diagnosis of BPD are often accused of manipulation and splitting in psychiatric settings. A quick Google search reveals that manipulation is the action of manipulating someone in a clever or unscrupulous way, the skilful handling, controlling or using of something or someone, to manage or influence skilfully, especially in an unfair manner, to manipulate people’s feelings. I have never felt skilful, clever, influential or in control in an emergency department or hospital setting yet I have been accused of manipulation and splitting.
What I do feel is shame, shame, shame and more shame, along with confusion and fear. I feel physically sick and unsafe. My body is burning internally. Shame causes the amygdala in our brain to produce a cocktail of poisonous chemicals. We are burning from the inside out. Invalidating our feelings is like throwing petrol onto an already fierce raging fire.
Imagine a grizzly bear bounding into emergency and bailing you up against a wall and someone in charge expects, no demands, that you sing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” How many of you would be able to do that with adrenaline and cortisol screaming around your brain and body?