Reader Reviews

Here are some comments from the readers of WHINE (When Hope is Not Enough)….

One thing has stopped (seemingly permanent) since I applied this approach (the tools from the book). Screaming has stopped. He no longer rages at me in ‘elevated tones’….. Bon, this is absolutely because of your advice, no two ways about it…. Much of what I was doing before was exacerbating things… I had no clue! Sincerely, Bon – I don’t know where I would be had it not been for you…. (an ATSTP member)

It just takes some time, patience, and practice.  I started seeing results pretty much right away (I’ve only been implementing WHINE for a weeks now), just from changing my general mindset and by stopping invalidating my wife.  We’re not fully friend/friend yet but I see progress … (an ATSTP member)

I know it’s hard but I truly believe that, by reading WHINE and implementing the tools, you’ll see improvement.  (an ATSTP member)

I really recommend reading WHINE if you haven’t yet done so–to me, this is where learning to be effective began. (an ATSTP member)

….basically is what we are trying to teach by sharing the effectiveness of the tools, techniques and mindsets of WHINE. WHINE isn’t just about doing what is most healthy for our BPs, it is also about doing what is most healthy for US as nons.  (an ATSTP member)

It didn’t take me long to figure out that for me, faster progress will be made from reading Bon’s book WHINE.  I bought the electronic version for $7.50, printed it out and put it in a little 3-ring binder.  I have now read it once and have started the second time through after a couple of days letting it sink in.  I had the pleasure of experiencing one of my BPDW’s “storms” during this sink-in time. She was the same – I was different.  Kinda surreal experience.  (an ATSTP member)

The whole concept in WHINE works, but it does take time to really wrap your brain around it and be able to skillfully put it into practice….and practice is key!  (an ATSTP member)

I have read the book and it amazes me how so much valuable information can be condensed into such a quick and easy read. It is written in a style that most anyone can understand and it is filled with useful examples on how to use this approach in everyday situations we all face with highly emotional people. Used correctly, the information provided in this book can help you improve your relationship right now… not next year, not next month, TODAY.   (an Amazon reviewer)

When I first suspected my wife had BPD, I came across “Stop Walking on Eggshells” (SWOE), which my therapist recommended, and which helped me understand how my life had been affected after a year of living with my wife. But I also wanted to understand what my wife was going through and to learn to better interact with her, and I found SWOE to be unsatisfactory and incomplete in this respect.

“When Hope is Not Enough” (WHINE) was the answer. It lays out a clear explanation of BPD and a step-by-step skills development plan for improving interactions with my wife.

Thanks to this book and the other resources it suggests, I no longer live in a fog of confusion and despair, and I am optimistic for the future of our family. Interactions are still sometimes very difficult with my wife, but I better understand why now, and I’m learning how to make them better every day.

Thank you, Bon, for writing WHINE. (an Amazon reviewer)

When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder was written by Bon Dobbs and is available as an eBook or as a printed book.

Need immediate relief? Want privacy? Buy the eBook version of WHINE. Get the eBook!

Want a printed copy? WHINE is now available from Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other on-line retailers.