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Book Review: Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder
Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder by Valerie Porr is perhaps the most up-to-date and complete book for family members of people with BPD published to date. When I read the book, I couldn’t help but think that Ms. Porr had the therapists and mental health professional more in mind than the family members. It appears as though she is trying to dispel many myths about BPD that exist not only in the family environment but also in the mental health community. This book is steeped in scientific research, including research involving the biological under-pinnings of BPD. It includes many skills for family members from both DBT and mentalization based therapy (MBT).…
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What BPD Feels Like
Excellent article about what BPD feels like: What BPD Feels like A lot of friends and family members want to understand what the BPD sufferer is going through, but they don’t have a proper understanding of what is actually happening. For the BPD sufferer it is hard to explain what it feels like when honestly, they don’t know exactly what it is that isn’t “normal”. People around the BPD sufferer know that something isn’t right with the person, but quite often the sufferer does not know there is anything wrong, which is why they can attack you when you suggest there may be. As a BP sufferer myself, I can…
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An exercise in validation
Validation (or emotional validation) is an extremely powerful tool when it comes to emotional situations. It is complex and multi-stepped and it takes a lot of practice to master. On my Internet list, I talk a great deal about validation because it is essential to managing a relationship with someone with BPD. If you learn to master validation, you can see a marked change in the way your loved one with BPD interacts with you. Validation is a tool that verifies that the other person’s feelings are valid, but doesn’t necessarily condone or agree with their behavior. Remember, the behaviors come from feelings, beliefs and “action impulses” so they can…
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BPD, Self-Regulation and Others
Ok, after posting about book sales recently and stuff like that, now it’s time for a much more substantive post about BPD. Today, I plan to talk about self-regulation and a new study that points out an intriguing aspect of BPD. There has been much talk in the BPD research and clinical community about the “core” of BPD. Once it was thought to be a personality disorder or even an extreme form of PTSD. Dr. Marsha Linehan (the inventor of DBT) talks about dysregulation in a number of systems, the most important of which (in my interpretation) is the emotional regulation system. People with BPD are extremely emotionally sensitive and…
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Validation Article from DBT’s perspective
Here is an interesting article on emotional validation for parents of people with BPD… from a new blog about understanding DBT. Dialectical Behavior Therapy Validation Strategies for Parents By Christy Matta, MA How Do We Validate Validation and active listening techniques are specific ways of approaching your child to increase cooperation and balance the change we are often asking for from our children. 1. Responsiveness: Addressing our children with interest in what they are saying, doing and understanding. Expressing concern about his or her wishes and needs. 2. Warm engagement: Approaching kids with warmth and friendliness. Active positive communication with our voice, tone and posture. 3. Self-Disclosure: Communicating our own…
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Just in time for the holidays
Hey all, I haven’t posted much in the way of skills lately, but today, as the holidays are upon us, I think it is helpful to go over some emotional skills and other tools that can help us non-BPD people get through the holidays reasonably unscathed. The holidays are a tough emotional time for everyone. There are expectations that the holidays be “jolly and happy” when, sometimes, the holidays are anything but. The get-together with relatives – many who don’t understand the actions, feelings and behaviors of someone with BPD – can cause huge stress for those with BPD and for the loved ones. Expectations of a low conflict Christmas…