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How does one mentalize?
It is important to remember that mentalization is about NOW. It is not about any other moment than now. Therefore, if you aredragging old issues or future worries into the conversation (or if the other person is) then you are experiencing a “failure to mentalize.” You mentalize by continually monitoring the progress and state of a conversation. You mentalize by asking questions about thecurrent conversation, the feelings and intention of the other person and monitoring your own feelings and understanding of the current conversation. It is a natural skill and is built into the human mind; however, it is also a difficult skill, because we are often not mindful of…
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Someone to Call Home – #BPD and Attachment
Even as adults, sometimes people need their mommy. People with BPD, being so emotional, need other people a lot. The people thatare being needed are “attachment people.” The first attachment that a person makes in their life is usually to their mother. Some in the psychiatric community call BPD an “attachment disorder”, meaning the initial attachment with the mother is disordered in someway and it models future attachments which also become disordered. The birth of the self and how one looks at oneself is developed during the period of first attachment. If this attachment is done in a non-disordered way, the child develops a stable self image, one in which…
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Be mindful of transitions with BPD
Transitions, especially as they relate to identity, can wreck havoc in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The last few months have been very difficult in my household with my wife with BPD. Over the weekend, she engaged in self-injury for the first time in eight years. Why? Because my household is going through a very significant transition. My girls have applied to and gone to college, leaving only my wife, my last child (a middle schooler) and myself in the house. My wife identifies herself as primarily a mother. She is greatly attached to our girls and now that they have “left the nest,” my wife’s…
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Interview with Dr. Peter Fonagy – co-creator of Mentalization Therapy
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Insight: The Hypersensitive Attachment System in BPD
The attachment system in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is “hypersensitive” (triggered too readily). Indications of attachment hyperactivity in core symptoms of BPD Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment Pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships Rapidly escalating tempo moving from acquaintance to great intimacy (If your partner has BPD): Was your relationship a whirlwind romance? Is he or she clingy or suspicious? The explanation could lie in a hyperactive attachment system in a person with Borderline Personality Disorder. Anthony Bateman, a co-creator of Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT), describes this condition in his MBT training presentation. DBT is a form of cognitive behavior therapy and does not use the psychodynamic concept of attachment.…
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How mentalization skills can help children at risk
Mentalization lets kids consider situations from many points of view Thinking About Thinking May Help At-Risk Children Mentalization lets kids consider situations from many points of view Published on May 18, 2013 by Kristi Pikiewicz, PhD in Meaningful You Imagine that you have arrived at a museum to view an Ancient Grecian statue. Your experience, including your thoughts, emotions, and physiological reactions, would be dictated by two factors: the nature and quality of the artwork itself, and the space within which it is presented. The statue may be beautiful or frightening, sturdy or fragile, well-preserved or in a state of disrepair. These are immutable properties that cannot be easily changed,…