About.com Guide to BPD posts positive message about negativity in Non-BPDs
This is a post from About.com’s Dr. Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD regarding compassion for people with BPD. My reaction was “about time”! Yet the comments from this post are quite telling of the vitriol within the Non-BPD community:
Have Compassion
Thursday December 23, 2010
I feel compelled to write a post that is a bit more personal than usual.I have been About.com’s Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder for almost three years. I really love writing for this website– it’s a nice way to be able to share my expertise and knowledge with people who need it. I am often thanked by readers, but I have to tell you that I feel very grateful for the opportunity to do this work and probably get more from it than anyone gets from anything I’ve written.
There is one thing, though, that bothers me, and that I have to say something about.
Many times each week I receive reader comments, forum posts, and personal emails that are incredibly hateful toward people with BPD. I do understand that many people have been hurt by individuals with BPD, and that usually these comments are written from a place of pain and anger. But, I am often shocked by the level of vitriol in these comments.
People with BPD deserve your compassion. I am not saying that people with BPD do not behave in ways that are hurtful, nor that they should not have to accept responsibility for these actions (and, by the way, you may not realize it, but they usually do, after the fact, and with a deep sense of shame, guilt, and remorse).
But regardless of this, before you judge someone with this disorder, please take a step back and think about what it would be like to have this disorder. Realize that the great majority of these individuals were children who had terrible things happen to them. The minority that did not have terrible things happen to them in childhood probably have a strong biological predisposition for BPD through no fault of their own or anyone else. Think about whether you would make the same judgments about someone who had, say, schizophrenia, or social anxiety, or posttraumatic stress disorder.
In short, have compassion. Be grateful that you don’t have to live with BPD. And do something to help, rather than spewing out hate. It’s not helping you or anyone else.
2 Comments
Blooming Psycho
I think there may be a bunch of trolls that go around spewing hate about any and every condition. On an article that I was reading discussing the fact that shaming obese people does not work to make them thin (NO SHIT SHERLOCK!) there were a few commenters who spewed the most vicious vitriol against heavy people. It literally brought tears to my eyes to read such hateful things. Anyone so filled with hatred and venom is a far bigger loser than anyone with whatever condition said troll is condemning.
Tia
I wish i was never born. I wish i was not so sensitive. I wish i wouldnt get hurt so much and so easily. I wish i would never hurt people coz i feel so much pain inside that i cannot handle and need to explode.. I wish i knew who i am and why i am the way i am. I wish i would not be scared to go out and have a good time {like normal people}, coz i am moody and feel always empty and lonely and easily bored and scared of being hurt. I wish i would not feel like my soul is trapped in my body.I wish i wouldnt get paranoid coz i am scared too much to get hurt.I wish i didnt feel like i never wanna have a baby{even though i love kids} coz i am scared of my own self and i cant trust myself and feel like i am a victim and nobody deserves to come to this life and be a victim. I wish i die
young coz everything hurts and life is too long.I wish i was not so scared of rejection. I wish people would be more human and try to imagine human pain.I wish i didnt have to say sorry all the time coz i feel like iam strange and different and it s always my fault. I wish
i was normal.I wish i didnt feel guilty for who iam.I wish i was not a
borderliner.Borderliners tend to say {I wish } a lot coz its hard to accept ourselves the way we are and coz nothing makes sense and nothing seems to be right. But normal people dont like to hear the word i wish coz they can accept the reality and what they are. I wont judge normal people coz i am not in your shoes and i dont know what it feels to be normal.But please dont judge us . Coz everything hurts. Consider yourselves lucky….