Look I have BPD and let me tell you that if your friend cut ties with you then they will be back. It is all a phase we go through and when we realize that we are being irrational (because deep down we know it is) it sinks in and the cycle continues (the apologies and so on). It is down right manipulation and you have a right to feel the way you do. Asside from the BPD I am not the sweetest person in the world but I would at least try to talk to her, call her out on her crap. Try to get a general sense on what made her feel this way toward you. You ultimately have to decide if this relation ship is worth saving or not. You can be cordial but put down boundaries.

Boundaries are the best thing you can lay down with this person. Kids are kids and you are right they shouldn’t be involved (guilt trips are a great maipulation tool by the way especially using kids). One day, when you feel up to it you should have a lunch with her (not in a public place maybe a picnic. Public creates more drama and that fules the fires of BPD) Ask her what happen. Make her think about the reasosn why she does the things she has done to you. If you pretty much get the same answer then ask yourself if this is worth it. If it is state that you will be friends and then set boundaries. If not set boundaries and let her know how you feel.

Idk if your friend has more than one issue i.e. MPD, Bi-polar etc… but it is hard to find people to understand what you are going through when you are going through all of these feelings emotions and phases.

Having BPD (for me) is like being a caged animal. You don’t really know why you are there in that cage or why you are being punished for rules you didn’t even know you were breaking but everyone that comes to that cage (even the nice person who comes and gives you food or to play with you and pet you) is an enemy because of this one (or sometimes more than one) in humane SOB. So the caged animal becomes paranoid, angry, and explosive. Even though it longs for love it can’t help but to feel betrayal at the front door.

It is a cycle of ups and downs. I encourge you to read the book I hate you don’t leave me. It is about $8. Your friend needs therapy and support. Idk if tough love is the answer, it isn’t for me anyway. It just makes me want to push my friends away more (a nice way of putting it). Sometimes it is about hurt and making others hurt as much as you do or saying “leave me alone” when they know deep down they need a hug. As a friend, it is a trial and error thing. It all comes down to how commited to the relationship are you willing to be. This is NEVER going to go away but it can be managed. Encourage your friend to talk about their feelings or vent out the frustration.

I have friends who are BPD and they have jumped off the deepend but I am there when they come back. I text them quite often (about nothing in particular. I.e. about my day or text them call me when you have time).

Bottom line is that you CANNOT love them back to normal. I have MPD BPD and bipolar; it is not easy living from emotion to emotion and people who try to say that I should just fight doesn’t know anything about fighting. To fight your emotions 24/7 all day long never slipping up once is rediculous. Don’t let your friends emotions take over your life and determine your happiness get them into therapy and ask them about how it is going. Therapy is very personal so they will be a little raw but let them know that you are there for them and in time things will get better.

Emotionally volatile relationships are hard for anyone to deal with. It’s exhausting and painful and takes a lot of energy. On top of that, we are not taught how to deal with emotionally volatile situations. Sounds as if your friend was emotionally wounded by something you did (or she imagined you did and felt the intention was to heurt her) and is angry and attacking you back. That is natural when anger is involved. In the case of someone with BPD, that feeling of anger can quickly become “splitting you black” – which mean she considers you all bad, evil even. When that occurs many people with BPD will burn bridges with former friends. It is a painful situation for the friend (if you value the friendship) and, in time, it mght become a painful, embarrassing situation for the person with BPD. Once the emotional dysregulation and impulsive emotional behavior wears off, your friend is likely to come back to you. It can’t be assured, but it is likely.

Take care of yourself emotionally and be patient. Sometimes it is the best course of action.