Cool – I see your point. A couple of things. First, in these studies they used the Ekman faces – Dr. Paul Ekman actually used his daughter as the subject and before producing those images, he and Richard Davidson had used electrodes to create EVERY expression that the human face could make – even some that couldn’t be made naturally. So, I think the “neutral faces” thing WERE neutral – but the interpretation is where the study comes into play. I bought “Emotions Revealed” (by Ekman) a few years ago and my wife wanted to take the test at the end of the book to recognize neutral, slightly angry, slight contempt, etc. in Dr. Ekman’s daughter. She consistently identified neutral as “slightly angry” and slightly angry as very angry – so I think there is some validity to the low tolerance to anger/judgment argument. In this study the researcher found that people with BPD/ERD reacted to those faces 14 times more than those in the “control” group (those without BPD). Also, I met a woman with BPD at a group once when, taking the test, said (at a “slightly angry” face) “He is angry and he is angry at ME.”

All that being said, I have a recovered BPD/ERD woman in my group (who I adore and think is wise as you can be) and she said, “Think of neutral feedback on eBay. You don’t give a neutral review when everything is perfect. SOMETHING is wrong with a neutral review.” So, I think your assessment of a neutral reaction being harmful is not only important – but it is also normal. Look, I don’t feel people with BPD or ERD traits are weird or not normal – heck, I have at least two important people in my life (my wife and daughter) that have these traits. My point (mainly) is to educate the (I hate this term) Non-BP to let them know that neutral CAN be interpreted as threatening when someone has a naturally occurring low tolerance for judgment of their emotional reactions.

In the next day or so, I will be posting some thoughts on tolerance, intensity, up slope, length of reaction and down slope when it comes to emotional reactions – and I feel everyone has his/her own “signature” in that way. It’s not that “calm” people are “better” – everyone has their own profile/signature. Sometimes I even wonder if BPD is a “disorder” at all – maybe it is just a natural adaption to one’s emotional signature.

Anyway… thanks for the clarification and comment. Feel free to contact me if you’d like. And (plug) read my book and have your love ones read it as well (more plugs). No, really, I think I take an interesting “middle road” between the “screw them” people and the “they’re disordered/crazy” people. I try to walk that tightrope because I really believe that there are many hues of “normal”.

Bon

I appreciate your comment, but you read my post incorrectly – in fact I think you read the exact opposite meaning as to what I was saying. I was saying, when dealing with someone expressing am emotion, you should NOT have a neutral face. You should IMO express equal, but slightly less emotion than the other person is feeling. That indicates you are hearing them and that you care.

Bon

I like this, Bon! This is exactly what it is like. And this is followed by…

more emotion (shame) -> more expression -> more behavior

…until the untreated BP feels better — oftentimes through self-injury, drug/alcohol abuse, or (as we promote) validation.

Interesting post. I wanted to let you know that we’ve recently published the personality disorders section from the DSM-IV; the section on Borderline is here: http://www.mindsite.com/dsm_iv/borderline_personality_disorder

No doubt you’ve seen this, but this is the first time it is available for public consumption on the Internet.

Any feedback is much appreciated. Cheers.