• Best of,  Emotions,  Resources,  Validation

    Talking to someone with emotional issues

    I actually wrote this message on WTO some time ago. I think I am going to post some of my “Best of” message postings from WTO and from ATSTP lists – after removing any personal information from other posters. I’ve posted so many messages I would be worth it (I think) to share some of that information to the Internet public at large through this blog. So here goes (the Best of #1): Actually, these communication methods work with anyone, anytime. They will work in normal communication and during “OZ” – and I am trying to always be in this mode. It is difficult and takes a ton of effort,…

  • Lying

    BPD and Lying

    Recently, I have had about 20% of the searches on this site involve someone trying to find out about lying. These searches included: “pathological liar”, “BPD and Lying”, “why does bpd lie?”, etc. It seems one on the most difficult things for the non to accept is BPs lying. Here is a note I posted on WTO some time ago about lying – I think it still applies. As for lying, I believe that all people lie (or are willing to lie) when the truth is too painful to be told – even if that feeling of pain is not based in reality. Do BPs lie more than other people?…

  • Borderline Personality Disorder,  Lying,  Parenting

    A Daughter with BPD who Lies

    A Daughter with BPD who Lies This was my response on WTO to a woman who was very angry with her daughter for lying to her and for having friends over to her (the mother’s) house all night when the mother specifically prohibited it. The mother felt very manipulated and angry – she felt the daughter was disobeying her to hurt her. FYI, the daughter is 23 and was diagnosed with BPD when she was about 16. Hi. Yes, I thought that your daughter was in a situation like that – around 21-25, diagnosed with BPD and once in a residential facility. The reason I asked those specific questions is…

  • Blame,  Borderline Personality Disorder,  Boundaries,  Lying,  Manipulation,  Odds and Ends,  tough love

    Why “Stop Walking on Eggshells” is a Recipe for Divorce

    Many people when they find out about BPD, read “Stop Walking on Eggshells”. Just about everyone in the “non” community has read it. I read it AND read the workbook. At the time I thought, “Yes! Someone who understands!” I thought, “Finally, a method for dealing with my wife’s crazy behaviors.” Well, folks, I was wrong. This book is about nons and ways for the nons to handle the BP’s behavior. Unfortunately, for the BPs, it does nothing to help them heal. In fact, the idea of setting limits and boundaries for BPs only serves to piss them off more. Let me tell you why: BPD is a disorder in…