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Blaming Never Helps
From “”Peace is Every Step”” by Thich Nhat Hanh: When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you donít blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If…
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An Example of an Angry Non
I found this review on Amazon as a review for the book “Understanding the Borderline Mother.” This excerpt says a lot about people’s understanding of borderlines: Perhaps it is true that the borderline personality is a real disorder in various ways, but I know for a fact that there are borderlines who can control their negative behaviours when they really want to, and that is the most frightening thing of all, that a grown adult can still act so immaturely and continue to destroy other people willfully. I think that someone needs to write a book about this too. Also take in mind that some people who were once classified…
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Why “Stop Walking on Eggshells” is a Recipe for Divorce
Many people when they find out about BPD, read “Stop Walking on Eggshells”. Just about everyone in the “non” community has read it. I read it AND read the workbook. At the time I thought, “Yes! Someone who understands!” I thought, “Finally, a method for dealing with my wife’s crazy behaviors.” Well, folks, I was wrong. This book is about nons and ways for the nons to handle the BP’s behavior. Unfortunately, for the BPs, it does nothing to help them heal. In fact, the idea of setting limits and boundaries for BPs only serves to piss them off more. Let me tell you why: BPD is a disorder in…