Self-injury Report
From the blog of “Random Thoughts of Self” I found a link to a British Study of Self-Harm called “Truth Hurts.” I also found a nice little image and blurb on the left side of that blog. The blurb said: “I want to be free… an attempt to relieve pain rather than inflict it…” which is IMO right on target when it comes to self-injury (Read “My Take on Self-Injury” to see why).
I recently I had a member of my email list post a message thatsaid something to the effect of “these people (with BPD) have to punish themselves” (with self-injury).Of cours, I couldn’t disagree more. More often than not, it’s about relieving pain, not causing it.BTW, I don’t self-injure, but my wife’s self-injury was my introduction to BPD.
4 Comments
Abz
Im glad you like the pic and the explanation for it. I used the picture on my other blog and 80 people replied to it, so many people relate to it. The common misconception is that people who self harm wish to die, it is actually their coping strategy to live. Hope you drop by again…. Abz
V.S.
My husband regularly claims that his self-injury is self-punishment for real or imagined sins. Occasionally he seems to think that I want him to hurt himself in order to punish him (and he gets genuinely confused that I’m not impressed by his attempt to punish himself for hurting me). I think that his behavior is *also* a way of making himself feel better via endorphins and such. The two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.
Bon Dobbs
Well, self-punishment can be a reason for self-injury… but more often than not it is for pain relief. I wonder if your husband self-injures when he is in emotional pain?
V.S.
That’s a more complex question than it seems.
He is always in emotional pain when he feels like he’s done something wrong that deserves punishment. That’s when he’s inclined to self injure.
He is rarely in emotional pain at a time when he also does not think he deserves punishment. I think this is probably because he usually is either in emotional pain due to the shame of having done something “punishable”, and on those occasions when it wasn’t originally, the speed with which he does something he does regret can be pretty amazing. He also has a tendency towards thinking he deserves punishment because of an abusive father, so even if he hasn’t done something he’ll end up feeling that way from that sometimes, for no current external reason.
I cannot think of a time when he’s been in emotional pain, but not thinking he deserves punishment, and self injured. The closest I can find in my memory is suicide threats brought on by the possibility of abandonment. But this might be because he just never gets far away from feeling like he deserves punishment.