Nasty Divorce: A Kids Eye View (An Excerpt)
Her mother was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Meredith still deals with the aftermath of abuse and parental alienation.
Nasty Divorce: A Kids Eye View (An Excerpt)
SEPTEMBER 25, 2015 BY MARINA SBROCHI
Marina Sbrochi hopes to incite behavior change by sharing the experiences of children and damaging effects of high conflict divorce.
MEREDITH’S STORY
Meredith’s parents divorced when her older sister was three and her mother was pregnant with her. She had been told varying stories of why her father hadn’t been in their lives. It began with her mother telling her from as early as she can remember that her father denied fathering her and wanted nothing to do with them. The story would have varying themes on the original, but also included cheating and physical abuse. They were also told he was a “pervert” and liked little girls. The message sent to Meredith by her mother was this, “your father is a very bad man and a loser.”
Her mother remarried when she was five years old. He was a minister. He too had no problem trashing her father. Even though her mother had remarried, she never missed an opportunity to bash the father she had never met. Soon, they were told that their stepfather adopted the girls as his own. Meredith only learned that this wasn’t true after she moved out. The only reason he didn’t adopt the girls was because her mother wouldn’t get the child support. When the time came that they were adults — they “didn’t have enough money.”
Meredith remembers being a young child and not completing a task, which was pretty normal for someone of that age. Her mother decided she wanted to prove a “point” to her daughter. She told Meredith another “story” about her father. “Your father was lazy and never completed anything he started. He took apart the engine to his car in an attempt to fix it the first year we were married and left the engine in pieces the whole 3 years we were married. He didn’t know what he was doing and he was so disorganized, he didn’t write notes when taking the engine apart to identify what pieces went where. They were just all over the floor of the garage. He just threw away time and money because he’s a loser. You’re going to be a loser just like him if you don’t learn how to complete tasks. I don’t care how boring it is. It’s part of the job. If you want to amount to anything successful in life, then you need to stop being so lazy.” This was just one of the many abusive things her mother said to her using her father as a way to be hurtful.
Her mother would constantly complain about the lack of money because she told the girls her father never gave her a cent for them. Every problem in their lives was blamed on her father.
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One Comment
LW69
The mother in this story is no doubt abusive with narcissistic traits, assuming the story is true. Diagnosed Borderline? Actually, the daughter, the author, trends closer to being Borderline. BPDs have a tenuous relationship with objective truth. What a mess.