Borderline Personality Disorder

The Language of Acceptance

In a recent post on ATSTP, a member was bemoaning the lack of closeness in his relationship. He said:

“The difference is that in BP relationships, the closeness only comes back if the NON does something to make it so.”

I replied:
“I don’t necessarily agree or disagree with this. My feeling is that the nons and BPs are speaking different languages. It’s really hard to be close to someone who you feel doesn’t really understand you fully. If you want to get close, one of the parties has to learn the other’s language. I just feel that the nons have a greater capacity to learn emotional language than the borderline to learn practical language. The very natural of emotional dysregulation prevents the use of practical language/thinking. I mean, we have to accept what is before we can ask what can be.”

 

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