Amy Winehouse threatens to kill herself

Singer on 24-hour watch by worried friends

Monday, 6 October 2008

Amy Winehouse is said to be on suicide watch after she allegedly threatened to stab herself.

The singer is thought to have been pushed further downhill after her husband Blake Fielder-Civil rejected an offer of parole last month – because he didn’t want to stay with his mum Georgette Civil or wear an electronic tag.

Amy, 25, apparently held a knife to her chest in front of friends.

‘She said she was “caught up in a nightmare”,’ a source tells the Daily Star. ‘Her friends managed to get the knife away from her but are now holding a 24-hour watch on her.

‘Her emotions are exaggerated. She is either high as a kite or, when she hears something she doesn’t like, she is suicidal.’

Blake, 26, is being held at Edmunds Hill Prison after he was found guilty of GBH and attempting to pervert the course of justice. It is now thought that he has accepted another offer of early release.

Mental Health Coverage Expanded by Rescue Package (Update2)
By Aliza Marcus

Oct. 3 (Bloomberg) — Health insurers that provide mental- health benefits will be barred from providing less coverage than they do for other medical services under the $700 billion financial-markets rescue package approved by Congress.

The plan was backed by a 263-171 vote in the House of Representatives today and signed by President George W. Bush. The package incorporates a measure requiring so-called mental health parity for health plans enrolling more than 50 employees.

“Aren’t we all pleased across America that this legislation includes the mental health parity act?” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a California Democrat, said in a speech before the vote.

The mental-health measure was among provisions added to the financial rescue package to win support after the House initially rejected the bailout legislation. The Senate, which supported the expansion of mental health coverage benefits in tax legislation passed last month, approved the revised financial rescue plan on Oct. 1.

“It seemed like it was getting lost after the bailout issue arose, but now with this bill it’s just happened,” said Steve Vetzner, spokesman for the Mental Health America advocacy group in Alexandria, Virginia. “This has been a long struggle and long fight.”

The act is intended to eliminate what supporters call unequal access to care from insurers that set higher co-payments and other limitations on services such as mental health counseling compared with physical ailments.

$3.4 Billion

The House and Senate previously disagreed about how to cover the cost to the federal government of the expanded benefit, estimated at $3.4 billion over five years by the Congressional Budget Office in 2007.

The estimate is related to tax revenue that would be lost because employers would pay more for health insurance premiums, to cover the expanded benefits, instead of turning over some of this money as taxable wages to employees.

Health insurers and businesses worked with Congress on the measure, which built up wide support from stakeholders in the health-care field, said Aetna Inc. Chief Executive Officer Ronald Williams in a statement on Business Wire.

“They had a deal for a long time,” said Kim Monk, an analyst at Capital Alpha Partners, in Washington, in a telephone interview. “The challenge was how to off-set the cost,”

Employers will now be looking for well-managed mental health networks to help them reduce costs associated with implementing the legislation, Monk said. “Not all insurers have this, so they may have to beef it up.”

To contact the reporter on this story: Aliza Marcus in Washington at amarcus8@bloomberg.net

Last Updated: October 3, 2008 15:26 EDT

October 1, 2008

Editorial

Oh So Close to Mental Health Parity

Congress is within a whisker of passing a sound and fair-minded bill to require that group health insurance coverage for mental illness and substance abuse be provided on the same terms as coverage for physical illnesses. It would be a shame if the legislation, which caps more than a decade of struggle to achieve mental health parity in insurance coverage, were allowed to die while Congressional energies are focused on the all-consuming economic crisis.

The bill would not require employers or health plans to cover mental illness or drug or alcohol abuse. But if they do, the treatment limits and financial requirements could be no more restrictive than those that apply to medical or surgical benefits. A 1996 law had required parity in setting annual and lifetime spending limits, but insurers found ways to circumvent it. The new bill closes loopholes by requiring parity in deductibles, co-payments and out-of-pocket expenses — and in setting treatment limitations, such as the maximum number of doctor visits and days of coverage allowed.

The bill is endorsed by President Bush, business groups, insurance companies, the medical community and mental health advocates. Both the House, in a stand-alone bill, and the Senate, as part of a broader tax relief bill, have approved it by large margins. But it requires a final shove because the measure is snarled in a broader legislative struggle over how to pay for tax revenues that would be reduced by this measure and others. Is there a statesman who can push this worthy parity legislation through to final passage before adjournment?

Celebrities with a PD rose to 53% of the traffic - it’s amazing what people are interested in.

BPD General rose to 26% of my traffic. This is due in part to my running a Google AdWords campaign on the term “BPD” to try and get my book, When Hope is Not Enough: a how-to guide for living with and loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, into the hands of more people.

Coping was about the same as in the past.

I was happy to see that “BPD evil” and “BPD demonic possession” has dropped off the top search terms.

Now for some notable recent search engine terms that found my blog (my comments in parenthesis):

bpd blame (yes, they do a lot of it)
bpd sluts (hmmm…)
why are borderlines evil (they’re not)
i’m in love with bpd woman (fasten your seatbelt!)
“npd”+”marriage” (no, please don’t)
bpd people why they threaten to leave you (because they want to leave you before you leave them)
inner child borderline personality disorder (not the inner child again, please!)
bpd family guilt no contact (that’s tough)
demonic symptoms (it doesn’t exist)
suicide how to do it (I almost cried at that one)
dbt parenting skills (read WHINE and take a DBT-FST class)
how to calm someone who is dysregulated (read WHINE)
praying for spouse with bpd (sometimes hope is not enough)
bpd and bitch (ouch!)
how to tell someone they have bpd (don’t)
demon possession vs. mental illness (these people and their beliefs in demons)
borderline personality girl causes trouble (I bet!)
bpd don’t know how to show love (no, they have too much shame until they are treated)
loving a bpd (it’s a rough road)
borderline personality god (I guess they were looking for answers, not diagnosing god)
tough love therapy (it doesn’t work with BPD)
do people with bpd cheat more (some of them do)
do people with bpd ever realize the truth (emotional truth, yes)
bpd body image (it ain’t good)
demon possession borderline personality (the demons AGAIN?)
how to get rid of bpd spouse? (I hope you didn’t mean “get rid of” like really get rid of)
child of a borderline hell (that’s sad)
i want bpd ex back (you sure?)
“bpd” burn bridges  (yes!)

Mass General Hospital Mood Charting (thanks to Tides…)

DBT Skills Help:

Emotional Regulation Skills… from dbtselfhelp.com … from Borderline Personality From the Inside Out

Mindfulness Skills… from dbtselfhelp.com

Distress Tolerance Skills… from dbtselfhelp.com

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills… from dbtselfhelp.com

DBT Family Skills Training… from middle-path.org

You can gain access to more DBT resources, to other pertinent files, and to advice from me and other group members by joining the ATSTP (Anything to Stop the Pain) Google Email List.

When stress and anxiety are high, the R (reptilian) system is exaggerated.  In other words, people become more thoughtless, more instinctive, and more automatic.  The same is true concerning the feeling brain.  Once fueled by limbic-derived feelings, we have less access to the thinking brain.  Both brains have ensured the survival of the individual and the species.  Necessary to survival, feelings have an insistent quality and are hardwired into the nervous system.  With strong arousal, the limbic brain can be driven to continue.  The reactive force can go on for hours.  Highly excited emotional states are like poison ivy - we become all itch.

The point of this quote is to illustrate that emotions operate at a lower level in the brain than do values and even thoughts. The author goes on to say:

One of the functions of the thinking brain is to exercise veto power over the instinctive forces of the two lower brains [Reptilian and Feeling brain].  It sets limits on behavior; it provides self-control.  This is one reason moral codes are stated in the negative - “Thou shalt not . . .”  Nonetheless the lower brains, more automatic and defensive than the thinking brain, have a quicker triggering effect and do not easily defer to the thinking brain.

The phrase “do not easily defer to the thinking brain” is an understatement in my opinion. If someone is overcome with emotions, especially strong, negative emotions which is the likely situation with BPD, the “lower brains” at which the emotions are operating will rarely defer to the thinking brain. Therefore, if a person with BPD acts in a way that goes against his/her values, that is probably the cause.

Well, my experience has been that marital counseling doesn’t really help
much when a BP is involved, because counselors really don’t understand the
dynamics of BPD.  While their goal is to promote better communication
between partners, they tend to focus on resolving the complaints.
Of course, BPs have LOTS of complaints (which
really are not the problem), so nons just end up feeling attacked… even by
the counselor at times.  When counselors do this, it tends to validate the
BPs feeling that their nons really are the problem.  It sometimes even
leaves the non feeling like he/she really is the problem.

I suspect you may want to continue this “counseling” approach, since it is
SOMETHING your BP has agreed to.  If so, my suggestion would be for you to
be as honest as possible with the counselor about YOUR FEELINGS.  Don’t
waste your time (and money) defending against your BPs accusations and don’t
point fingers back.  (This only makes you look bad to the counselor… like
you never let your BP talk or express himself… ha!, I know!)  Simply ASK
for advice on how to communicate better (since that is the goal of the
counselor to get you communicating with one another.)  Try the suggestion a
few times, and if it doesn’t work, then you can come back the following
session and express your disappointment and confusion about why it isn’t
working.  Eventually, after enough times of doing this, your counselor will
(hopefully) recognize that he/she cannot help you and will refer you to
someone more qualified (like a DBT specialist, if your lucky enough to have
one of those in your area.)

My only comment on this statement - which is wonderful IMO - is the idea that the complaints are “not really the problem.” If those complaints are not really the problem, what is? Well, I believe it is that the BP FEELS bad (negative emotions) and judged (so they judge back). I think if someone who DOES understand the dynamics of BPD works with a couple, the therapist can hopefully deal with the real issue: the painful emotions.

Often I see in the support groups on the Internet (especially the “Welcome to Oz” or WTO groups), people providing the “3 C’s” of understanding your role as a Non-BP. I’ve seen it quoted on BPD support websites too. These “3 C’s” go as follows:

• I didn’t cause it
• I can’t control it
• I can’t cure it

While these statements are generally true, I’d like to take some time to analyze these statements and add a fourth “C.” I’d also like to tell you what you CAN do – rather than what you didn’t or can’t do.

These statements help take the onus off the Non-BP for any responsibility for their loved one’s disorder. I can understand that. In part, they are about blame or, better, non-blame. I’ve seen many people say “when I came to terms with those ‘3 C’s’ I was free from FOG!” (which is fear, obligation and guilt, for those of you who don’t know). I want to write something about FOG specifically, but haven’t had the time.

OK, now let’s look at each of these statements and see how they fit into my way of thinking about being a Non-BP.

I didn’t cause it

Actually, this statement is liberating, especially for parents of BPs. I think that many parents carry around a lot of guilt that they DID cause their child’s disorder. Even psychologist and therapists often blame the disorder on the parents. However, there are growing studies that suggest that there are many biological causes for BPD. In the case of Marsha Linehan, she provides a “biosocial” model, in which each element (biological and social) are required to cause BPD. The environmental part of that analysis is the “invalidating environment.” So, while you (either as a parent or spouse) didn’t cause the disorder, you may have inadvertently contributed to the disorder’s severity. By reacting to a BP in an emotionally invalidating manner, the disorder can get worse. That is why I spend over 30 pages in WHINE discussing emotional validation as a tool for healing. Of course, a parent might say “Well, I have other children. I’ve treated them the exact same way. Why don’t they all have BPD?” Which again is where the biological element enters. My suggestion for parents is to read the article referenced below.

I can’t control it

Why would you want to? No one can completely control another individual. Even parents can’t completely control the actions and behaviors of their own children. No, the only behavior (which is BTW what Non-BPs are so confused and angry about) you can control is your own. That is why I have made several statements clarifying boundaries. Boundaries can’t be used to control other people’s behavior. If you try and imposed rules on another person’s behavior, you get resentment, rebellion and (in the case of BPD) a statement: “You’re trying to control me!” How many times have you heard THAT in your interactions with a BP? I’ve heard it a bunch.

I can’t cure it

Again, this statement is true. Only the BP him/herself can “cure” the disorder (usually with the help of a qualified and knowledgeable professional). It is important that you re-read that statement – you cannot make your loved one “all better.” You can’t save him or her – especially from his or herself. What CAN you do then? You can contribute to an easing of the conditions under which the BPD behavior is severe. You can re-frame your relationship with the BP in such a way that the emotional invalidation that they have learned to expect is gone. You can encourage effective behavior and practice effective behavior yourself. How? I explain this in detail in WHINE – which is why I called it a “how-to” book.

Now, I think I need to contribute a fourth “C” to the mix. I didn’t make this “C” up. In fact I found it here, on A. J. Mahri’s “BPD from the inside out” page about a mother speaking out about the illness. Please read that page! It really helps define the feelings and confusion of a mother who needed to know she “didn’t cause it.” She offers a fourth “C” which is:

All I can do is cope with it.

I have read the book and it amazes me how so much valuable information can be condensed into such a quick and easy read. It is written in a style that most anyone can understand and it is filled with useful examples on how to use this approach in everyday situations we all face with highly emotional people. Used correctly, the information provided in this book can help you improve your relationship right now… not next year, not next month, TODAY.

On my free email support list for Non-BPs (the ATSTP Google Groups List), a member said this about the downloadable version of WHINE:

It didn’t take me long to figure out that for me, faster progress will be made from
reading Bon’s book WHINE.  I bought the electronic version for $7.50, printed
it out and put it in a little 3-ring binder.  I have now read it once and have
started the second time through after a couple of days letting it sink in.  I had
the pleasure of experiencing one of my BPDW’s “storms” during this sink-in time.
She was the same - I was different.  Kinda surreal experience.

The printed version has a retail price of $19.95, although it is being sold by Amazon and Barnes and Noble for $17.95. If you buy the eBook version you can get the same content for only $7.50.

Buy the eBook version of WHINE here.

http://www.amazon.ca/When-Hope-Not-Enough-Dobbs/dp/1435719190/

BTW, it has been available in the UK for a while now:

 http://www.amazon.co.uk/When-Hope-Not-Enough-Dobbs/dp/1435719190/