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Marriage Problems and Authentic Self
Today I was reading the Psychology Today blog of Dr. Steven Stosny, called the “Anger in the Age of Entitlement” blog. Here is a nice article that married people (BP, Non-BP and others) should read: Marriage Problems: How Can I be Me When You’re being You? By Steven Stosny on August 18, 2008 – 3:09pm in Anger in the Age of Entitlement Most people get married because they like the way they are with their partners – loving, compassionate, engaging, supportive, sexy, and flexible. They get divorced because they don’t like the way they are with their partners – resentful, turned off, frustrated, rigid, or bored, all of which they…
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Lindsay Lohan and BPD (maybe but not for sure)
OK readers, now is the time to revisit Lindsay (I think I was spelling her first name wrong for a while there) Lohan and possible BPD. She has all of the classic signs of the disorder. I was struck by this quote: “Sam and Lindsay are speaking,” the source tells PEOPLE. “But Sam has begged Lindsay to get help.” “Lindsay, despite appearances, is insecure and has relied on Samantha and their relationship to build her up,” explains the pal. “Lindsay barely sleeps, which explains a lot of her behavior. She’s exhausted. She can’t even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room. It’s really sad.” Sam is begging…
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Why Shame is Corrosive in a BP/Non-BP relationship
This is my response to someone who asked why shame is corrosive in a BP/Non-BP relationship… Shame is corrosive to a relationship because it keeps the BP or NP in “pretend mode” where they are behaving “as if” they are engaged in the relationship, but in reality their only real goal is to protect themselves from discovery. The closer you get to it, the more panicked they become. Often the shame is never revealed to others and covered up with bullshit (in the art term, not the common term). If a person is bullshitting their way through something (and sometimes they bullshit themselves too) then they are not genuinely engaged…
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Ian Curtis and BPD (or another disorder)
Rarely do you find an individual artist who expresses his/her emotions and pain as clearly as did Ian Curits. He was the lead singer and song writer for the band Joy Division. In May of 1980, two days before their first U.S. tour, Curtis hung himself in his kitchen. Joy Division reformed as New Order and had a major impact on dance/rock music. But Joy Division was an amazing band. Curtis’ lyrics read like a suicide note. He had epilepsy and the medication he was taking for it supposedly depressed him. The lyrics on their two albums (Unknown Pleasures and Closer) are fought with pain, shame and depression. Two years…
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More on Hoovering
Yesterday, I received a long and thoughtful comment about my post The Myth Of Hoovering. I wanted to respond to it, because I believe that the commenter actually misunderstood my point about hoovering and why I called it a “myth.” Certainly, I was well-aware that the post (along with The Myth of the High-Functioning Borderline) would be controversial in the non/BPD-support community. The commenter said the following about my post: “Regarding the misinformation you mention, you’ve discounted the existence of the “hoovering” phenomenon on the basis that it’s not a conscious behaviour. In the link you provided, and in mentions of this concept I’ve seen elsewhere, I didn’t note any…
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The strange case of Ashley Todd
When I saw the backward-carved “B” in Ashley Todd’s face last week, I couldn’t help but think about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). And one Mental Health professional actually came out and said that Ms. Todd did, in fact, exhibit traits of the disorder. Personally, I have to disagree with the experts that have “diagnosed” her with BPD. While self-injury is a hallmark of BPD, the motivation behind self-injury in BPD is usually NOT to get attention. Clearly, Ms. Todd, who was the “victim” of an attack by a black man in Pennsylvania (which later she admitted was a hoax), carved the “B” in her own cheek and she must have…